UNC Water Polo

Stock Pose

Well, when I first heard about this ridiculous idea to pose with just water polo balls in front of the Old Well, I thought 'wow, that is ridiculous.' However, looking at the pictures now, I realize it was an idea inspired by sheer brilliance. How did they do it, you ask?

Well, buckle in captain, you're in for a bumpy ride if you want to hear this story. Jeremy can tell it better than I, but as I understand, it was on a Saturday around high noon. Campus was not TOO busy - as evidenced by the background of the picture. The plan was to disrobe in Christian and Jeremy's room - they lived in Old West, which is right next to the Old Well, and run out, take the picture and run back. Oh, the folly of youth. How were our poor heroes Christian and Jeremy to know that they would be kicked out of Old West a scant 2 days before the scheduled shoot and relegated to the hell-on-Earth known as Craige Dorm on South Campus. Let me assure you, dear reader, that the trek from Craige Dorm to Old Well is not one you would gladly undertake whilst clothed in nothing but a water polo ball. So, what was the team to do?

A meeting was planned, and a plan was hatched and a hatch was - wow, that is really bad, sorry about that. Where was I - oh, yes, at the War Room in Craige Dorm. Room 143, as a matter of fact. Here, our seven warriors, (from left to right) Christian, Mirko, Andy, Jeremy, D. Scott, Rich, and Dave, met to discuss how this picture could still come to light (wow, that is a sweet pun). I've heard rumors that the clothing worn at the 'meeting' was the same as the clothing worn in the pictures, but no confirmation has been forthcoming. Anyway, without rehashing all the violent flares, and pointed glances, and scrapped plans, let me just say this is how it was done. Pay attention, because I am only going to tell this once. Before I start, I have to introduce a few more characters (you didn't think there was no outside help, did you?)

1) Greg, guy from Florida State that was visiting
2) Chancellor Michael Hooker
3) Lunch Lady Doris from the Simpsons
4) Soon-to-be NFL superstar Kivuusama Mays (heretofore known as 'K')

Without further adieu - in timeline form:

11:30am: Lunch Lady Doris pours two gallon tub of Bert's Insane Sauce in the Taco Bell 'meat' mix in Union Station
11:32am: Chancellor Hooker turns on police scanner.
11:35am: K Mays makes fateful decision, orders beed taco value meal (hey, he's gotta eat something!)
11:38am: K Mays removes drink dispenser from counter, and dives into the part that has all the ice in it (sorry for the layman language).
11:40am: Michael Hooker, diligently working on a Saturday, but also listening to the scanner, hears call go out for 'Guy in Ice Thing in Union Station.'
11:41am: Chancellor Hooker dials Jeremy and Christian's number. The following conversation ensues:
J:'Hello'
CH:'Red Eagle has flown the coop. I repeat, Red Eagle has flown the coop'
J:'What did the Old Crow do at sundown?' (note: no fools, these guys - this is a test to see if it is indeed the chancellor)
CH:'He flew to the hawk's den.'
Each hangs up.
11:43am: The water polo team disrobes, save for a water polo ball, and catches the 11:43am U Bus in front of Morrison. This is widely considered to be the weak part of the plan. But, with security converging on Union Station, the hope is the trip can be made safely.
11:53am: As the bus stops at Franklins Street, D. Scott insists on running into Monster Records to pick up the new Sister Hazel CD. The team tries to stop him, but D. Scott will not be denied. Where his wallet was hidden remains a mystery.
11:54am: D. Scott makes it back on just as the bus is pulling away. He is greeting with scorn and derision, but he just smiles and holds up his new CD.
11:58am: The bus drops off the team in front Spencer. A mad dash through the arboretum ensues. Nameless players hold their water polo ball aloft and feel the breeze.
12:00pm: Right on schedule, they arrive at the Old Well. Greg, already there, jumps up and snaps the picture. Actually, I think he took two or three. Then, a candid pose, and the deed is done. In order to protect the precious film, Greg gets in the 15 passenger van, with tinted windows, he has rented and drives away.
12:03pm: The team looks at each other and realizes they have made no plan for getting back to Craige and their clothes.
12:03:30pm: They hear a familiar voice: 'What's up, LOSERS?' They look, and to their suprise and relief, it is none other than yours truly, driving my old beat up 1983 Volvo. Long Story short: They hop in, I drive them to Craige, and all's well that ends well. The site of 8 naked guys (that's right, I had forgotten to dress that morning) in one car probably made more than one person lose their lunch, but oh well. All in the name of posterity.

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