The Better Think Twice Issue
December 2007
- Escalator TV huge hit with hungry students
- Anti-immigration politician admits love of Mexican food
- Congress asks America to just take a nap
- The new face (meat) of Carolina Dining Services
What This Family Needs Is Some Christmas Spirit
What This Family Needs is a Gourmet Holiday Cheeseball
- Washing her hair (58%)
- Curling her hair (10.7%)
- Primping her hair (18%)
- Drying her hair (3%)
- Fixing her hair for her goldfish's funeral (4%)
- Cutting her hair (3.3%)
December 2007 Articles
- Center Spread: Chapel Hill - Desert Planet
- Top Ten Ways to Celebrate Hanukkah
- My only other gay friend
would be perfect for you!
- Kanye West disowns hip hop, embraces emo
- Tea drinker burns tongue on first sip, ruins whole cup
- New, experimental taste of southern
hospitality squeezes into kitchens
- Unsustainability dorm in the works
- How the Chinese stole Christmas
- Ask Alli
- Old board games promote violence
- Guitar Hero leads to injuries
- BoUNCe explains 2007: A letter from the editor. Listen to me! I'm Clayton!
- B-ball players given new nicknames
- Gardening with Nora again... Today's flower: Wisteria frutescens
- Mitt Romney clones himself
- The "South Campus" Diet
- X-treme Environmentalism
- GOP: Revolution was un-American
- PostSecret
Local tea drinker Alice Maynard went to the coffee chain Starbucks on Thursday afternoon for a cup of chai tea. She entered the shop to have a relaxing talk with friends, but left having suffered the injustice of a burnt tongue.
"I left my tea to cool down with the top off for a few minutes before I drank any of it," claimed Maynard. "The coffee shop heats the water to a much higher temperature than my microwave does. I thought a couple of minutes would be enough doe it to cool off, but I guess it wasn't."
It was awful, said friend Nadia Dubois, who was present at the time of the incident.
"She was sitting there blowing into her cup for so long, you'd swear it was ice cold. She took a sip, let out a little yelp, and hung out her tongue like a panting dog. She looked like she was in a world of pain for those first few seconds. All I have to say is, thank goodness I only drink iced coffee."
Tea expert Carl Fraser understood the frustration felt by Ms. Maynard.1 "I love the subtle hints of cinnamon and ginger present in chai tea," said Mr. Fraser. "The flavors can be difficult to detect due to the use of a cheap brand, inadequate steeping, or, as in Ms. Maynards case, a burnt tongue. It's a shame that a cup full of such a fine specimen of India's exports was wasted on a tongue too sandpapery to appreciate its excellence."
The victim, too, was upset about her inability to enjoy her purchase.
"I couldn't feel my tongue for at least half an hour, let alone taste anything," reported Maynard. "The tea, my cheesecake, even the mints I stole from the display... all worthless!"
Starbucks refuses to answer any questions, but released a written statement to the press.
"It is standard procedure to tell our customers to let their tea steep for about five minutes, which is what the barista said to Ms. Maynard," Joanie Heiser, the establishment's manager, wrote in the statement. "We never imply that the drink will be cool enough to sip at that point. Ms. Maynard should have let it cool down longer before attempting to drink it."
Maynard plans to file suit against the chain for her $4.95 plus tax, the temporary loss of function of her tongue, as well as intense emotional pain and suffering.