The Better Think Twice Issue
December 2007
- Escalator TV huge hit with hungry students
- Anti-immigration politician admits love of Mexican food
- Congress asks America to just take a nap
- The new face (meat) of Carolina Dining Services
What This Family Needs Is Some Christmas Spirit
What This Family Needs is a Gourmet Holiday Cheeseball
- Washing her hair (58%)
- Curling her hair (10.7%)
- Primping her hair (18%)
- Drying her hair (3%)
- Fixing her hair for her goldfish's funeral (4%)
- Cutting her hair (3.3%)
December 2007 Articles
- Center Spread: Chapel Hill - Desert Planet
- Top Ten Ways to Celebrate Hanukkah
- My only other gay friend
would be perfect for you!
- Kanye West disowns hip hop, embraces emo
- Tea drinker burns tongue on first sip, ruins whole cup
- New, experimental taste of southern
hospitality squeezes into kitchens
- Unsustainability dorm in the works
- How the Chinese stole Christmas
- Ask Alli
- Old board games promote violence
- Guitar Hero leads to injuries
- BoUNCe explains 2007: A letter from the editor. Listen to me! I'm Clayton!
- B-ball players given new nicknames
- Gardening with Nora again... Today's flower: Wisteria frutescens
- Mitt Romney clones himself
- The "South Campus" Diet
- X-treme Environmentalism
- GOP: Revolution was un-American
- PostSecret
The RHA has finally delivered its response to the Carolina Review/College Republicans petition in protest of UNC's green-building program delivered two months ago. Spokeswoman Deborah Placket delivered this statement in front of the Student Union on Monday: "After much deliberation, we have been forced to agree that an environmentallyfriendly bias in construction is indeed unfair, ungodly, and anti-capitalist. And so, for the sake of fairness and equality, a new dormitory will be constructed to balance out the effects of our sustainable architecture."
Although a final site for the new dorm, called Grimsley, has not been chosen, plans have already been drawn up. Specifications call for a capacity of 700 students, but only two floors in order to ensure that as much land is cleared as possible. Also, electricity will be provided by a built-in wood-fired power plant—specially designed to release a minimum of 30 lbs. of CO2 per hour. The fuel for the plant will be gathered by student volunteers called Organic Resource Collectors (ORCs), who will scour the area for trees to chop down for the fires.
Additional measures taken to assure maximum energy consumption include air-conditioning for doorless suite hallways and use of low-wattage incandescent bulbs for illumination. Besides clearing campus of much foliage, regarded by many as worthless, Grimsley should successfully balance out any energy saved and carbon emissions reduced by the rest of campus.
At a celebratory gathering of conservative students, attendees danced around a bonfire primarily composed of the Davie Poplar XV sapling and various environmentalist books (purchased at Bull's Head for the occasion).
Others were skeptical as to whether Grimsley dorm, which it is estimated will raise tuition by $60 a year per student by 2015 and $100 by 2020, is worth constructing solely for the sake of fairness. Some suggested that Grimsley residents ought to bear this additional pricetag themselves, but were attacked as "communists." Formal selection of a build site is expected by mid-March.
In the mean-time, conservatives hope to push other projects, including a smokers-only dormitory and enrollment restrictions for applicants who know more than 20 words.