Hot off the Press:

The Better Think Twice Issue
December 2007

• Escalator TV huge hit with hungry students
• Anti-immigration politician admits love of Mexican food
• Congress asks America to just take a nap
• The new face (meat) of Carolina Dining Services

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What This Family Needs Is Some Christmas Spirit

What This Family Needs is a Gourmet Holiday Cheeseball

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What Eve is doing instead of dating Sam Morgan:

1. Washing her hair (58%)
2. Curling her hair (10.7%)
3. Primping her hair (18%)
4. Drying her hair (3%)
5. Fixing her hair for her goldfish's funeral (4%)
6. Cutting her hair (3.3%)

December 2007 Articles

• Center Spread: Chapel Hill - Desert Planet
  - BoUNCe staff
• Top Ten Ways to Celebrate Hanukkah
  - BoUNCe Staff
• My only other gay friend would be perfect for you!
  - Sarah Hodges
• Kanye West disowns hip hop, embraces emo
  - Andy Jones
• Tea drinker burns tongue on first sip, ruins whole cup
  - Sarah Hodges
• New, experimental taste of southern hospitality squeezes into kitchens
  - Paul Preston
• Unsustainability dorm in the works
  - Benjamin Ossof
• How the Chinese stole Christmas
  - Sarah Wolper
• Ask Alli
  - Alli Cooke
• Old board games promote violence
  - Sarah Hodges
• Guitar Hero leads to injuries
  - Tommy Allen
• BoUNCe explains 2007: A letter from the editor. Listen to me! I'm Clayton!
  - Clayton Margeson
• B-ball players given new nicknames
  - Sam Morgan
  
• Gardening with Nora again... Today's flower: Wisteria frutescens
  - Nora
  
• Mitt Romney clones himself
  - Lee Czerw
  
• The "South Campus" Diet
  - Alex Hunt
  
• X-treme Environmentalism
  - Lindsay Oliver
  
• GOP: Revolution was un-American
  - Benjamin Ossof
  
• PostSecret
  - BoUNCe Staff
  

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DEAR ALLI:

I just overheard my boyfriend talking on the phone about my Christmas present, and I'm really excited! He was telling his buddy Kyle, "She doesn't know what I gave her, I hope she doesn't find out soon! I just wish I hadn't unwrapped it that one time, maybe she knows..."

Dear Alli, I would love to get him something as special as he's giving me. He told Kyle, "She'll have it forever."

This kind of permanence makes me think that something really life-changing is about to happen. He said it was red, and it really stands out against pale skin tones.

Dear Alli, I think he might be proposing! He knows my favorite gemstone is a ruby! This Christmas will be so exciting, but I need to know what to give him in return. Any suggestions?
-HANNAH in HoJo

DEAR HANNAH:

It's herpes. I'd recommend finding someone with gonorrhea and repaying the favor. That'll make him look really festive down there. Because it's green, like Christmas.

Happy Holidays!