The Better Think Twice Issue
- Escalator TV huge hit with hungry students
- Anti-immigration politician admits love of Mexican food
- Congress asks America to just take a nap
- The new face (meat) of Carolina Dining Services
What This Family Needs Is Some Christmas Spirit
What This Family Needs is a Gourmet Holiday Cheeseball
- Washing her hair (58%)
- Curling her hair (10.7%)
- Primping her hair (18%)
- Drying her hair (3%)
- Fixing her hair for her goldfish's funeral (4%)
- Cutting her hair (3.3%)
December 2007 Articles
- Center Spread: Chapel Hill - Desert Planet
- Top Ten Ways to Celebrate Hanukkah
- My only other gay friend
would be perfect for you!
- Kanye West disowns hip hop, embraces emo
- Tea drinker burns tongue on first sip, ruins whole cup
- New, experimental taste of southern
hospitality squeezes into kitchens
- Unsustainability dorm in the works
- How the Chinese stole Christmas
- Ask Alli
- Old board games promote violence
- Guitar Hero leads to injuries
- BoUNCe explains 2007: A letter from the editor. Listen to me! I'm Clayton!
- B-ball players given new nicknames
- Gardening with Nora again... Today's flower: Wisteria frutescens
- Mitt Romney clones himself
- The "South Campus" Diet
- X-treme Environmentalism
- GOP: Revolution was un-American
It used to be thought that the media's influence on aggression was a phenomenon that began with the advent of violent television and video games, but some really fun research has recently proven that myth false. Researchers at the National Institute for Telling You How to Raise Your Children have discovered the negative effects that classic board games can have on aggression.
"People are always blaming video games for violent tendencies in today's youth," stated researcher Jonathan Harris, "when in fact childhood violence has been around far longer than our current entertainment systems. Even back before Atari and Pong."
"No matter the medium, children can take a game too literally and really get themselves into [Milton Bradley's Pop-o-Matic] Trouble™," says Officer Jake Hamilton. "Just the other day in Orange County a seven-year-old murdered his parents in the billiard room with a candlestick after a quiet round of Clue during family game night."
The influence reaches into the realm of more traditional games as well. "Othello" has been blamed for the recent outbreak of racial tension in the public school system. Tag has been blamed for labeling individual children as different, slower, or fatter than the rest of their class.
"Tommy used to be such a good kid," commented teacher Gail Juarez, "but things changed when he started going to chess club meetings after school. He left posts on his MySpace page about capturing his queen before beating up his crush's boyfriend in the cafeteria. I just hope he doesn't get into checkers and start jumping people."
The Institute next plans to look at the effects of colonial games, such as the rolling hoop and pick up sticks, to see just how long games have been encouraging violence.