By Will Jones
UNC math and science majors are in an uproar this week after hearing that an upper-level drama history course discussed sandwiches in class last week.
"I mean, I knew fine arts majors were slackers, but damn," said biology major Chris Templeton.
Last Thursday, Karen Blansfield's 2:00 class in twentieth century theatre history reportedly opened class in the usual manner.
"Karen just asked us what we wanted to talk about that day, like normal," said drama major Henry Salsberger. "Normally someone starts in about one of the plays we were supposed to read for that day."
Thursday, however, things went differently. "Look, I was just tired," said junior Vincent Masterson. "I really didn't want to talk about fucking Bertolt Brecht. I don't give a shit about epic theatre. So when she asked what we wanted to talk about, I said that I wanted to talk about sandwiches. It just slipped out."
Masterson went on to describe in detail the Charleston Chicken sandwiches that he and his friends had fixed for dinner the night before. "He kept talking about how they were smothered in Havarti cheese, with this cranberry-mayonaise sauce they made from scratch," Salsberger commented. "It sounded really good."
The class went on to discuss their favorite sandwiches and hypothetical rock band names, taking up a full thirty minutes of the class with inane conversation.
"You know what my Thursday afternoon class talks about the whole time?" yelled an angry Templeton. "Amino acids! Enzymes! My brain hurts just walking through the door! And they're talking about sandwiches! I hear that sometimes they have T-shirt contests for the first part of the class. Fucking A. Drama majors have it so easy."
In response, Masterson replied, "Neener neener."