By John Musci
Pure pandemonium gripped the students using the 3rd floor Davis computer lab last week. Anticipation had been building for what seemed to be forever, with students pacing back and forth, shouting their encouragement or disapproval, and looking on with silent apprehension as each waited for the final results. At last, the tell-tale sound of victory and jubilation reverberated throughout the shelves, carrels, and nooks.
"I couldn't believe it! I'll admit, I was very doubtful that my job would print, but I'm so happy. Now I can start studying," said Kitty Marseilles, holding her warm AFRI 40 notes.
"I had almost given up, but then I heard the gears start turning, and I knew I wouldn't have to wait long," said Trent Young, retrieving a thirty-page PDF file on the Protestant Reformation from the tray.
The celebration continued long afterward, with students high-fiving, chanting, and playing with fire while the EPSON continued churn out pages in the background. Both students and lab assistants alike experienced the overriding emotions were disbelief and relief.
"The EPSON really came through in a clutch," said assistant Taylor Freeman, "The other printer was down, and the queue was long, but he pulled it off. Amazing."
Students were right to be skeptical, given the EPSON Inkjet 5200's poor printing percentage - about a 45% success rate - but the EPSON felt the importance of the print jobs in line and "dug deep."
"A lot of students had papers to turn in and exams to study for, and they really needed me this time, not like those people who send me all those Chinese websites or the video game fan fiction stories," said the EPSON Inkjet 5200, "I definitely brought my A-game to the table."
"It's all about coaching the EPSON, really," said Freeman, "There are times for positive and negative reinforcement. It's just a matter of knowing when to say 'C'mon, good EPSON, don't jam,' and 'Print, damnit!' You just gotta talk to it a little."
Students also say that a good swift kick every now and then helps keep the EPSON motivated.
Other printers on campus have berated the EPSON for being a "scab," and breaking the general printing strike that has been in effect for the last 23 years. The EPSON denied the charges.