Bounce Goes to the Market
By Holly Burgin

Here at BoUNCe, everyone is excited about the opening of the new Ram's Head facility (mainly because it means that one less building is under construction now and that crane is no longer blocking our view of the football stadium, goddammit). No, really. We are. Just thinking about it makes us all hot and bothered. More food, more groceries, more... food... So we decided to go and check it out, and we took pictures. Just for you...

The first thing we noticed when we walked into the Ram's Head was that it didn't stink ass like Chase. Instead of reeking like Frat Court on a Thursday night, then Ram's Head smelled like flowers. And candy. Mmm.

We walked a little further and discovered they have an espresso machine. Sweet! Christina gave us a demonstration on how it works.

After getting our caffeine fix for the next 82 days, we went grocery shopping or "tofu bowling." Same thing, right. Anyway, Chieco actually managed to get a strike before the officer made us leave.

Remember when those assholes would sit in Lenoir making their own music with arm pit farts and that jerk face playing the spoons? Well not anymore! At the Ram's Head, the classy bitches have their very own juke box to play with!

After we ate, we strolled on up to the arcade, where Jake decided to play goalie in the soccer video game. He found a new meaning for the term 'penalty kick.'

We didn't know what was in the giant blue box in the corner, so we decided to find out. A couple of hours later, somebody apparently wanted to actually play the game. Doesn't this thing have a lock!?!

After exploring the Ram's Head, we decided that it was better than Chase or Lenoir. Like, a lot better. Like, Lord of the Rings vs. Gigli better.