The James Stephen Allred Issue
April 2007
- Preacher-formerly- known-as-Gary’s name officially changed
- Angelina Jolie’s child slave ring discovered
- A Convenient Truth: Beaches getting closer
- The Japanese invent everything
Do not leave your belongings unattended
Bitch, I’m trying to get this shit stolen!
Why am I hot? This is why:
- Glitter on my butt cleavage (60.3%)
- Faulty air-conditioner (4%)
- Grandma's Itchy Wool Sweater (18%)
- Cause I'm Fly (3%)
- Plastic Surgery (5%)
- The scalding Sun (10.7%)
April 2007 Articles
- Center Spread: Hobo House Party!
- How to spend the last ten days of your college life
- Fiery death teaches hard lesson on fire code
- “Weathermob” busted
- BoUNCe finds the truth behind on-campus environmental activism
- Savory shrimp sauce seduces
- Senior’s final article anticlimactic
- Want the perfect roommate? Create your own!
- Ask Alli
- Like working but not getting paid? Then get an internship!
- Stereotypes are gay and smell funny
- Daily Vanity: Your reliable source for SUPERHERO GOSSIP - #205
- Candidates clamor to showcase spouse’s ills in a full out battle for sympathy vote
- NCAA hoops, Aztec-style
- Reading lesson a “sex”-cess
- CA primaries cause debate, time travel
- Duke’s Next Top Karate Star premieres
- Suffragin' Succotash! Vegetables Get the Vote!
- BoUNCe Sells Out
Dear Alli,
I went over to my new girlfriend “Tiffany’s” dorm room for the first time last weekend... She never told me how hot her roommate “Sara” was! Now I can’t stop thinking about what it’d be like to have a threesome with them. How do I bring this up tactfully?
Sincerely,
Matt in Teague
Dear Matt,
The more, the merrier, right? There are good and bad ways to go about getting some menage-a-trois action, and tying Tiffany up so she can’t protest (while certainly kinky) is probably not the best way to go.
. You could try scheduling your sexcapades so that Sara walks in on you two mid-nooky (and then slyly asking if she’d like to join), but the most effective way, I think, is to point-blank ask Tiffany if Sara could join in.
When he's not home, I suggest breaking into his house and sniffing his dirty laundry. This won't actually accomplish anything, but it's keeping in character with being obsessive.
And if she says no - and dumps you - well, you didn’t want her selfish ass around anyway. And there’s always Sara...
XOXOXOXOXO (and don’t forget to take pics!),
