By Neal Timpe
Disney stock took a hit yesterday as students all over the country learned that animals in movies actually can't talk. In classrooms all over America, children are being taught that animals are not people. This has created shockwaves all over the nation especially in animal friendly states such as New Mexico and Nevada. Despite clear evidence in movies such as Ice Age, Finding Nemo, and The Lion King, many are still skeptical about animal's linguistic ability.
The debate over animal's linguistic ability has raged for more than seven centuries dating back to when literary personification was invented. In such unenlightened times, it was unthinkable for such "inanimate" objects such as rocks or trees to have personalities. Only the bravest writers dared to cross that invisible line and offer their version of the truth.
Since then the science behind personification has caught up to reality. Books like Animal Farm, by George Orwell proved that animals can have complicated political solutions to their societal problems. They can even serve as a model for humans to live by. If only humans accepted a communal living style like that of the animals, they would increase the good overall by making it less good for the few who are the richest.
Educators have taken this approach to education recently after pressure from environmental and science groups who say that animals are not humans and they do not live together in peace and harmony. "If animals want to live in an anarcho-capitalist commune, then who are we as humans to deny them that right," said Grisel Donalds, one of the people protesting the move.
Still others are skeptical of how animals always almost die at the end of the movie but later arise from the dead to help out their pack. When he was interviewed Simba had this to say, "It's just the circle of life man, and it moves us all."