By Sarah Wolper
A student production of the avantgarde play Subversive
Perversions was enjoyed by nobody who attended the show, sources reported
Wednesday.
“It was okay, I guess. Yeah. . .it was pretty good,” muttered sophomore Grant Kuhtz, whose girlfriend, Melanie Brink, starred in the performance. “Melanie was great, of course. But it was a bit weird when they wore those African masks and rolled in the bubble wrap for, like, ten minutes. I didn’t get it. But then, I’m not an actor.”
Although responses ranged from grudging tolerance to full-blown hatred of the show, the general consensus was that the play was “seriously whacked” and “pretty much retarded.”
“Dude, what in the flying fuck was that?” asked junior Zach Malloy during intermission. “That was, like, even more fucked up than that Jesus show that one time.”
The “Jesus show” in question was an amateur production of Jesus Christ Superstar at the Brockton Community Theatrical Center last year.
According to the handwritten program for the play, Subversive Perversions is a “critically acclaimed social commentary on the increasingly despotic nature of American society at the expense of the proletariat explored through symbolist expression and infused with the spirit of the later futurist period.”
“Yeah. Well, whatever,” added Malloy. “At least it was free.”
Even parents of the actors expressed largely negative feelings towards the night’s performance.
“My Bradley is so talented,” remarked a visibly befuddled Susan Thorpe, who was there to watch her son Brad perform. “But I liked him better in The Music Man. This show was a little strange. The part where he covered the girl in excrement and crucified her upside-down and pelted her with wads of money while screaming ‘Marxist!’ was...nice.”
“We’re so proud of him,” Thorpe added.
The play’s director, Liz Vanderhoff, left before intermission and was unavailable for comment.