By Sarah Wolper
In a surprise press conference Monday, Carolina Dining Services announced the development of an exciting new and tasty whipped cream - based dessert.
“We are very excited about this,” said Ram’s Head manager Keith Kensington. “This new dessert item, which we are in the process of perfecting, will be a special addition to our menu offerings of lemon cream pie and Oreo cream pie and Heath bar cream pie and M’n’Ms cream pie and coconut cream pie.”
Although officials have not divulged exact details concerning the new dessert, it will almost certainly consist primarily of whipped cream and a graham cracker and/or Oreo crust. Other ingredients remain in question.
“At this point in the creative process, we are not divulging any information about possible flavors,” said Keith. “If that sort of information became public, it could jeopardize the entire culinary production. I will say one thing: the options for add-ins are endless.”
When asked their views on the new item, students expressed a variety of opinions, ranging from confidence to skepticism.
“I’m sure the dessert will turn out delicious, whatever product they choose to mix into the whipped cream,” said freshman Alyssa Decker. “Reese’s cream pie would be awesome! I hope that’s what it is.”
“I dunno,” commented sophomore Neil Muller, “Something like Reese’s cream pie sounds ambitious, even for Carolina Dining. Alyssa wasn’t here for the Snickers cream pie fiasco last year. What a friggin disappointment that was. Maybe they’ll get it right this time around, but something tells me that they’ve set their whipped cream dessert standards.