The Up In Smoke Issue
February 2008
- Wayne Ellington could end Orange County Drought
- Riots in Kenya leaves all of Africa officially screwed
- Bounce Treasurer smites staff for own pleasure
- Bounce Explains the Leap Year
Carolina Girls: Best in the World!
Bitch, I got the best pieces of ass in the world!
- Washing their hair (58%)
- Transferring to UNC (42%)
- Getting taken to the cleaners by every team (23%)
- Watching “Gossip Girl” online (12%)
- Taking Sidney Lowe jacket to the cleaners (3.3%)
- Cow Tipping (3%)
February 2008 Articles
- Center Spread: The BoUNCe Squad!
- Top Ten Things To Do When Your Roommate is Out
- New “smoker zeppelin” to provide
a solution for smokers on campus
- Italy’s youngest man dies at age 42
- Cool dude, 24 m, seeks
hot female. No fatties.
- Hillary Clinton proves strong men also cry
- Patriots go back in time, win every superbowl
- Smokin’ hot dancing causes inferno
- Ask Alli
- Harrison Ford falls down,
shatters dreams and pelvis
- “Video Game Hero” positively reviewed
- Evangelist escorted off B.J. Campus
- BoUNCe writer fails to get drunk
- Grammar Nazis declare war on the passive voice
- Awkward turtle attacks
- Alternate things to do with “that ho”
- X-treme Environmentalism
- GOP: Revolution was un-American
- The BoUNCe Halftime Show
Hillary Clinton’s tears were not the
only magic that occurred this primary
season. Both Republican and Democratic
candidates have been pulling
out all the stops to become the most
empathetic, and we at BoUNCe have
compiled them for you, the voter.
Democratic candidate John Edwards
reiterated his campaign’s
main points at an emotional rally in
Rock Hill, South Carolina last week.
“Back when my daddy worked in the
textile mill, he knew he could never stop
working in that mill. He – gosh, y’all, I’m
sorry about this.” He took a moment to
recollect himself, dabbing his eyes with
a Gucci handkerchief. “That mill money
that came out of my poor daddy’s
mill put me in the non-mill place where
I am now – able to protect the poor mill
daddies of Mi’l America from predatory
milling tactics by mill-owners!”
Republican candidate Ron Paul
shared a special moment with the anchor
of “News at 6” on Public Access
35 of Montpelier, Vermont two weeks
ago, in which he related the most significant
challenge facing his campaign.
“It’s been hard, it’s all been hard,”
he said, tears shimmering in his redrimmed
eyes. “But our supporters
online and across America have come
through. With the recent singleday
record-shattering donation of
eight level 70 characters, I feel that
tonight is the night. Tonight we
can and we will beat Molten Core.”
Paul runs on a platform focusing
on a return to the World of Warcraft
gold standard and less government
intervention in all matters except
Mexicans. His guild,