Hot off the Press:
Current Issue Cover
The Up In Smoke Issue
February 2008

newsbriefs
point/counterpoint
point
Carolina Girls: Best in the World!
counter
Bitch, I got the best pieces of ass in the world!
Pie Chart
Chart Image
What NC State is doing instead of winning:
  1. Washing their hair (58%)
  2. Transferring to UNC (42%)
  3. Getting taken to the cleaners by every team (23%)
  4. Watching “Gossip Girl” online (12%)
  5. Taking Sidney Lowe jacket to the cleaners (3.3%)
  6. Cow Tipping (3%)

Ask Alli

DEAR ALLI:

Maybe it’s because I’m just a freshman, but I don’t understand college dating. I’m just looking for a meaningful relationship, someone to spend all my quiet evenings with, someone to hold hands with while I’m riding down the escalator at Lenoir. I’ve even avoided making too many friends so I don’t have to cut off contact later! Now all the other girls have snapped up all the emotionally available guys and I’m left with a choice between that weird greasy guy who stares at my knees during Psychology 101 (we haven’t gotten to fetishes yet, so it’s really awkward up in here)... and Tyler Hansbrough, who I friended on Facebook over 4 months ago and has STILL not confirmed me (SO not fair, especially after creating a group - ok shrine - declaring my love for him). I’m getting desperate. You’re my favorite love-advice columnist... where do YOU recommend going to find a sensitive, attractive, available guy?

-- MARY KATHERINE

DEAR MARY KATHERINE:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Suck it up,
Ask Alli