By Clayton Margeson
Even in this great age of innovation, people constantly look to the past for humorous references. Sometimes, they are timeless classics, like Abbot and Costello’s “Who’s On First,” Monty Python’s Dead Parrot sketch, or even Jesus’s stand up comedy routine: “I Ain’t Risen Yet!!”
But let’s face it, sometimes we come across references that just don’t work anymore. Maybe you want to make a joke about something, but it’s been too long to have any real impact anymore. That, or maybe it’s just been done to death. So, we here at BoUNCe want you to know what’s Timely, and what’s Untimely.
Timely: Jokes that refer to the Fox show 24.
Untimely: Jokes that refer to the movie 48 Hours.
Timely: Jokes about dead hookers.
Untimely: Jokes about T.J. Hooker.
Timely: Jokes about Dick Cheney accidentally shooting a load in an old man’s face.
Untimely: Jokes about Dick Cheney intentionally shooting a lawyer while hunting.
Timely: Jokes about Calvin Klein’s sexuality.
Untimely: Jokes about Chris Klein’s sexuality.
Timely: Jokes about topics that are considered taboo.
Untimely: Jokes about the board game Taboo, the game of unspeakable fun for family and friends!
Timely: Jokes about the rock band GWAR.
Untimely: Jokes about the rock band DEVO.
Timely: Jokes about male flight attendants.
Untimely: Jokes about yellow snow journalism.
Timely: Jokes about a hot girl being totally "corn," referring to how sexy she is.
Untimely: Jokes about General Cornwallis’s surrender that ended the Revolutionary War.
Timely: Jokes about T. S. Eliot, famous poet and author born in 1888.
Untimely: Jokes about the TSE (Toronto Stock Exchange).
Timely: Jokes about the Scientologists.
Untimely: Jokes about the Scientific Method.
Timely: Jokes about Ayn Rand.
Untimely: Jokes about Ayn Rand’s novel The Fountainhead.
Timely: Jokes about Ultimate Frisbee.
Untimely: Jokes about Penultimate Frisbee.
Timely: Jokes about Hollywood continuously trying to rework old ideas in new movies.
Untimely: Jokes about Hollywood Squares no longer featuring Whoopi Goldberg.
Timely: Painting “LIVE NUDE GIRLS” above your door with red paint.
Untimely: Painting all around your doorframe with calf’s blood to keep your first-born safe from the twelfth plague.