Help us to stamp out poverty!
By Stacey Swain

Did you know that half of the world’s population lives on less than two dollars a day? That the combined GDP of a quarter of the world’s nations is less than the combined wealth of the world’s three richest people? Were you aware that less than one percent of what the world spends on arms and weapons is needed to put every child in school, or that the distance between the richest and poorest countries has gone from about 3 to 1 in the 1800s to about 72 to 1? The developing world spends thirteen times on debt repayment what it receives in grants. 790 people in the developing world are chronically undernourished. 30,000 children die each day due to poverty. 1.3 billion people have no access to clean water; 2 billion have no access to electricity; 3 billion have no access to sanitation.

Everyone that is living today has an obligation to help eliminate poverty from the earth. Each person can help, like by giving some money to a local charity, or donating old clothes. Do your part to stamp out poverty!

What did Poverty ever do to you?
By Burt Reynolds

Hey, what did Poverty ever do to you, anyway? Me and him went to High School together. Poverty is good, people. What have you got against him? You got a problem with him, you got a problem with me, buddy. I mean, seriously, what did he ever do to you? I know; he’s kind of a dick when he’s drunk, and something about the heat gets to him. Like, this one time in Africa, he gave this entire village dysentery after they gave him some shitty maize-beer. I admit, it was a pretty fucked up thing to do. But there's tons of people who know Poverty, and they don't seem to really mind him that much. Matter of fact, some people know Poverty and aren't even aware of it. I've personally witnessed how he has affected thousands of people across the world, never once caring about their race or religion. I'll bet you've never even met the guy. Look at you, with your sixty dollar jacket and your forty-five dollar shoes and your hundred and fifty dollar sunglasses. You wouldn’t know Poverty if he took a shit on your head. Why don’t you mind your own goddamn business, partner.