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The Signs of the Apocalypse Issue
March 2007

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Man claims victory over Solitaire

By Sam Morgan

Harold Crick considers himself to be an expert at Solitaire. After all, he spends nearly 3 hours a day playing the game.

“I usually play it at home. Most people I know are office players, which is the term I like to call people who play at their work. But that’s not me. I play it at my apartment.

“I enjoy it; it’s something I’m good at. I’m not that competitive, so not having to face someone makes Solitaire the perfect passive aggressive game for me. I don’t like confrontations with other people. Plus, I’m terrible at most sports, board games, video games, and crossword puzzles. Solitaire was kind of my last option.”

This past Saturday night, Harold achieved one of his Solitaire milestones. He won four games in a row.

“This is a really monumental achievement for me. I have been practicing and hoping for this moment since I first discovered Solitaire back on my mom’s computer’s original OS, Microsoft 95. I even stuck with the beach themed deck. I love it when the sun smiles at me. I give him a little wave every time. He makes me feel good.”

The grueling marathon of card stacking took Harold almost an hour to complete. Sitting with three cases of Mountain Dew to his right, he barely took his attention away from the computer screen. Deftly putting the reds on the blacks and the blacks on the reds, Harold calculated each placement, taking notes in his spiral notebook, appropriately labelled “Solitaire Strategies,” before moving a single card.

“I mean, normally Saturday nights are a pretty big deal for me. I like to go out to eat with my parents; they pay for the meal and all. And TBS usually shows some awesome movies around 9 or so. But this is by far one of the best Saturdays of my life.”

Harold’s parents didn’t even mind that their son had made other plans for the evening. Harold’s mother commented, “When he called and told me that he was not going to be eating dinner with us tonight, I thought that maybe he had a date. With a woman! I was so excited for him. Then when he called and told me the news about Solitaire, I admit I was a bit disappointed. I want grandchildren."

While many have won several games in a row of Solitaire, Harold loves life’s little challenges. Setting the scoring style to Las Vegas and keeping cumulative score, Harold set himself up to win big. “I knew once I won the first two games that this was something special and history was going to be made,’’ he comments. And since Solitaire is a single-person game and Harold had no fans to witness the monumental event, he had to congratulate himself with a pat on the back and an extra Girl Scout Cookie.

“Had I been in Las Vegas I would have won $832 dollars, but I get the same satisfaction from finally winning something important to me and not getting one of those ‘congrats for participating’ ribbons. Plus I really like the cards falling.”