Hot off the Press:

The Signs of the Apocalypse Issue
March 2007

• Returning student affects annoying, fake accent
• Duke campus besieged by confused Vikings
• God of the sea seeks revenge at Neptuen's loss
• That "golden delicious" apple was surprisingly undelicious

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Please, Sir, may I have some more?

I think I might just sell you into slavery

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Reasons for believing we are, in fact, no longer in Kansas

1. Munchkins (60.3%)
2. A mountain (4%)
3. A sign indicating otherwise (18%)
4. A beach (3%)
5. An old Kucinich sticker (5%)
6. Culture (10.7%)

March 2007 Articles

• Center Spread: Bounce buries a body time capsule
  - BoUNCe Staff
• 10 things we will never joke about again
  - BoUNCe Staff
• The editor-in-chief takes long road to power
  - Sam Morgan
• Super-sultry storytime suggests a subject for sensuous students
  - Sarah Wolper
• WoW spring break madness 2007
  - Jack Garvey
• UNC Hospitals to initiate new system for kidney distribution
  - Gannon Hubbard
• Rhodes scholar to undo Rhodes' legacy
  - Andy Jones
• Dumbass kid ruins fun for everybody
  - Ben Pulley
• Ask Alli
  - Alli Cooke
• "Lost" writers lost
  - Sarah Wolper
• CAP Act leads to little pizza parties
  - Jack Garvey
• Man claims victory over Solitaire
  - Sam Morgan
• Student absorbs culture, bird flu while abroad
  - Sarah Wolper
  
• New Editor-in-Chief already an epic asshole
  - N. Fennell, S. Hodges, L. Waldron
  
• A linguistic phenomenon
  - Paul Preston
  
• Allred claims throne
  - Chris Faulkenberry
  
• Fanfiction not "fantastic," say lawyers
  - Sarah Wolper
  
• Spoiler alert! HP7 leaked to BoUNCe
  - Sam Morgan
  
• Spring Break in Chapel Hill
  - BoUNCe Staff
  

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