Fatal Fall Foliage Falls In Chapel Hill
By John McWeis

Rake this, bitch.

With the advent of autumn comes a new newsworthy natural disaster: falling leaves.

"It's the most dangerous time of the year," warns botanist Hiroko Abrell. "There are thousands of injuries and, somehow, dozens of deaths from leaf-related incidents in the U.S. each year. What's worse, the heartland of North Carolina is renowned for the foliage show put on every fall, and Chapel Hill is smack in the middle of this hot zone."

An RN at the University Hospital, asking to remain anonymous to avoid the embarrassment of being named in BoUNCe, concurs with Abrell and relates some of her experiences with the sneaky bitch side of Mother Nature.

"I've seen patients who have fractured bones after slipping on slick leaves on the sidewalk. Last year a woman was poked in the eye by a dropping birch leaf and had to wear an eye patch for three weeks. I remember one time when a man was nearly asphyxiated on a leaf he inhaled while running through the park on a windy day," said Katheryn Hore.

The Department of Public Safety has released a report aimed at informing the public about the risks of foliage and precautions that can be taken to reduce the danger. Above all, it is advised to stay indoors. If going outside is absolutely necessary, one should wear goggles and a surgical mask for protection, and should avoid diving into leaf piles. "In these, there may sharp objects, spiders, plague-carrying rats, hobos, etc." the document states. It is available at the office of the DPS and also on the DPS website.