By Will Jones
Residents of the American Gulf Coast were shocked last week when their homes and lives were destroyed by Hurricane Zanzibar.
Zanzibar, a class 5 vortex of destruction, leveled towns on the south coast of the United States from Texas to Florida, causing billions of dollars in damage and hundreds of deaths.
"Shit," survivors said.
The feeling of shock was near universal. "How could something like this happen to us?" wondered west Floridian Wilbur Snelson. "I moved to the Florida coast to get away from natural disasters. I never would have thought that a hurricane could hit us here!"
Most residents of the affected areas were totally unprepared for the shear force of the winds and rain generated by the hurricane.
"Nah, we'll be fine," said Louisiana sheriff Monty LaBeaux. "Reinforced foundations and emergency supplies are for scaredy-cats and pussies. Just a big waste of time," he concluded as he watched his home smashed to kindling by the winds.
When informed that another hurricane had decimated large amounts of the American south, FEMA Chief of Staff Patrick Rhode commented, "Huh, what are the odds of that?"
Despite the strong recommendation from authorities to evacuate, many residents stayed in their homes.
"What's the point of moving to a safer location?" LaBeaux commented. "We're only going to get a couple inches of rain. It's really not such a big deal. The weathermen always blow these things out of proportion."
Zanzibar was the nineteenth class five hurricane to batter that section of coastline just this year. People who are not dumb enough to build their homes in a disaster zone have taken to betting on how far along repairs can get before the next storm hits.
"I think that they'll actually get to put glass windows back in their homes this time," said Oregon resident Bill Juniper.
In the aftermath of the destruction, Gulf Coast residents are united in their plan for action.
"I guess it's time to rebuild our homes now," Snelson said. "Right in the exact same place, without reinforcing the structure against powerful winds and flooding or anything like that. Thank God that nothing like this hurricane will ever happen here again."