By Clayton Margeson
1. University Day
Moeser was too busy making his big speech to notice Clayton,
but security looked to be a problem. He overcame this with
a little dexterity and a lot of grace. The grab was successful,
though not record-breaking, as Clayton was the fifth person to
grab Moeser's wife's tits that day.
2.The Cemetary
Since her husband's death, a mourning widow was sad and lonely
and needed a hug. Clayton was more than happy providing this
service to her, but decided to do it in a way so that she would not
be able to identify him to the police later. This was a bad move,
though, as he could not then take credit for his action.
3. Darfur Rally
What's more inappropriate than grabbing a breast while
pretending to care about starving kids or whatever? Apparently,
a lot of things, as the touch is not as inappropriate
if the girl is expecting it. Turns out nothing makes
these students horny like discussing how bad other people
have it and making the US awesome by comparison.
4. Darfur
We thought going to Darfur itself and making another
grab would work better, but Clayton wasn't
expecting that little Kwanuli was trying to set a
world record of his own.