Karaoke bad-ass would totally sing 'We Didn't Start the Fire'

By Sarah Wolper

Senior Neil Chelsea, business major and selfproclaimed "karaoke god," publicly stated Thursday that, given the opportunity, he would "totally do 'We Didn't Start the Fire,'" the 1989 Billy Joel single.

"Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal on the Chapel Hill karaoke circuit," Chelsea boasted. "I've hit up all the major karaoke spots in town. People still talk about my rendition of 'Heat of the Moment' back in sophomore year at Fred's party. That was pretty awesome."

Although notorious in karaoke circles for its length and complicated fast-paced lyrics, Chelsea feels confident that mastering "We Didn't Start the Fire" is well within his capabilities. "It'll be like my crowning glory, you know, before I graduate," Chelsea mused. "I'll have to practice, but it'll be worth it. I even thought of ending the song by saying something cool like 'Wooo! I am on fire tonight!' It will be amazing."

Despite Chelsea's overwhelming confidence, others remain skeptical as to his ability to perform the song.

"I dunno. 'Fire' is a pretty hard tune, and I don't think Neil is up to the challenge," said Andrew Ghent, a fellow karaoke enthusiast. "He's more of a slow ballad type; he should definitely stick with something like 'Desperado.' Besides, everyone in karaoke knows that 'We Didn't Start the Fire' only counts if you sing it without using the lyrics. Memorization, baby. That's the key."

"Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again, Moon shot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock," Ghent smugly added, looking to the crowd.