The It Came From HoJo Issue
October 2007


Darling, Will You Marry Me?

Oh My God! This Tiramisu is the Shit!!


What Moeser will do during year off:
- Play with his organ (58%)
- Use up Meal Plan (10.7%)
- Students (18%)
- Become a real boy (3%)
- Research (5%)
- Grow a 'fro (3.2%)
October 2007 Articles
- Center Spread: Glut-A-Thon
- Top Ten Ways to
Survive a Zombie
Attack
- Karaoke bad-ass would totally
sing 'We Didn't Start the Fire'
- It's all in the stars!
A horoscope for you
- Honor Court Finalizes Code of
Punishment's Latest Version
- Creator of facebook group
sued for breach of contract
- Chaucer code finally deciphered
- Two for one colorful
celebrations
- Ask Alli
- BoUNCe changes evil ways
- Honor court convicts masterminds
of South Campus gerbil fighting ring
- BoUNCe will not get you laid
- Britney Spears loses childrem
- Gardening with Nora...
Today's flower: Hermeracullis fulva
- New traditions at Meredith
- Out-of-state student discovers
Bojangles, gains 15
- And now, in the business world...
- Carolina Review Halloween Mask

Like any good gardener, I love digging things up. Oftentimes when my failure of a daughter mistakes me for a television set and saddles me up with her welfare children, they like to help me dig. Well, this gardener is not one to refuse extra help that may be offered! My grandchildren and I have a lovely time re-potting my gardenia flowers, and afterwards we settle down for a lazy afternoon, just the five of us and this week's bottle of Vladimir. Oh, how they love their martinis!
But my grandchildren are not my only gardening fad of "the mo,'" as they say. Recently I have received from Keystone State Nursery a lovely new basil plant. Now, one of my mother's first gardening tips was to never let a basil plant crowd out the hooch corn. You would also do well to follow this "sage" advice! Much to the consternation of any novice gardener, basil is a tenacious plant and, like the beer belly on your alcoholic son, will spread wherever you let it. Don't let this happen! Remember to keep basil well separated from everything else – it is the pesky Hispanic family down the street and you are the hard-working sheriff's office! Otherwise you will wake up one day and your entire garden will be carpeted with that sneaky intruder. It will not matter how much pesto you make for the Bridge Club Potluck – that bitch Betty will probably make it as well on "Asian Night" simply to spite you! We'll see what she thinks when Sheriff Oscar gets an anonymous tip about her husband's "medicinal" plant by the shed!
