By Greg Ceneviva
After 3 years at UNC, senior Greg
Ceneviva submitted his first article
to boUNCe this past Friday. Many
wondered what took him so long to
turn something in, while others were
more puzzled as to why he decided to
write for the magazine in the first place.
"I signed up for boUNCe's listserv freshman year, along with like 30 other clubs. By the time I finished deleting all of the emails from the Tar Heel Pistol and Small Arms Club, Students for Shotguns International and Virtuous Woman, it was time for finals," Greg told himself last week.
Unfortunately, Greg's freshman year activities proved to be short-lived. A shooting accident which occurred at a VW picnic during an altercation between the THPASAC and S4SI caused many of those present to question both Greg's virtue and his status as a woman, as well as his right to bear arms. After his expulsion from these clubs, Greg set his sights back on BoUNCe.
"Sophomore year was going to be different. I was sitting down to write a spoof about Chancellor Moeser getting in a fist fight with Ron Artest when my roommate's stupid girlfriend came in with Gilmore Girls Season 1 on DVD. I don't want to sound like a chick or anything, but I kind of got caught up in the plot. They're a mother and a daughter AND they're best friends!"
After recovering his manhood, Greg looked to his junior year to really be his time to shine. "I was ready to drop a bomb on everybody with an article about J.J. Redick's bacne, but then I decided I could just start a Facebook group about it instead. I think it was worth it. 277 members, dude!"
Now that he's submitted his first article, many are wondering if they will see any more from Greg this year. "Oh, I have every intention of writing tons more. But I did just hear that Kevin Federline is playing in Memorial Hall next semester, so I might need to start waiting in line for tickets now."