By Chris Jochem
Chapel Hill Transit recently added the new FU bus route designed to serve "rich yuppie children who need a dose of reality."
The FU-route is the first of a new transportation- education partnership program. Chancellor Moeser approached Chapel Hill Transit in 2005 to improve town-gown relations and to "throw students off the ivory tower."
The FU bus will not have a predefined route. It will get wherever it is going when it gets there and you will all like it. Initial plans state that it will not be using the new hybrid engines, and it definitely will not be hooked up to the GPS bus locator. The motto is "FU, you'll like it."
"We've wanted to work with UNC-CH for a longtime to help with freshman orientation," said Transit Director Steven Spade. "I'm not suggesting we don't care about riders with this new program, but, let's be honest, we don't really care about them. The real world isn't all sky-blue."
The FU buses will only have seating for three passengers: one seat will always be occupied by a large woman obviously breast feeding her toddler while the other seat and half will be occupied by a sleeping man who has not bathed recently. The remaining half-seat will be available to anyone who wishes to wipe the spittle from it before sitting down. Standing room will be available with handholds placed conveniently for those 7' tall or taller.
Bursting students' "campus bubble" may be harder than expected. Initial reactions to the new route have been mixed.
Sophomore Katie Kirkindale complained that "there's, like, not any air conditioning on those buses, and, um, like, they're not a car."
However, Junior Will Staterman has quickly become a fan. "It's like a midway freak show and P2P all rolled into one," he said, adding, "Plus there's some woman showing her boob on it. Did you see? Boob!"