By Ben Pulley
Attention all freshmen!
Tired of making important
life-altering decisions?
Do you believe in surrending
your life to chance/
are you dumb? Boy do
we have what you need.
Here at BoUNCe Labs®, we don't have the answers for you, but we can make decisions simple for your sorry ass. Grab a dart, rock or your roommate's favorite country music CD and give it a throw. The outside ring is for choosing your major, while the inside ring is for your leisure activity. If you manage to get a bull's eye, quit college now and pursue a career in professional darts.