The Gender Awareness Issue
September 2007
- New cheap burrito place a cause for rejoicing
- Law school students defend school from themselves
- Vegetarian misses irony in love of 'Duck' Hunt
- Students show up to multicultural fair solely for the food


Eve Carson should break up with her BF

Hey, Sam


Why Freshmen will not get laid:
- Lanyards (60.3%)
- Abstinence Sex-Ed (4%)
- High School Sweetheart (18%)
- D&D (3%)
- ED (5%)
- VD (10.7%)
September 2007 Articles
- Center Spread: Operation Lactation
- Top ten things on the average male’s mind
- Garfield named first true American epic
- BoUNCe reporter interviews, scandalizes Chancellor Moeser
- Critics pan new bin Laden film
- Jesus detained by airport security
- D&D reference ruins mediocre Date
- INFORMATIONAL emails trans-phobic, says Gender Studies Department
- Ask Alli
- Freshman misled by local business name, brunch with parents "uncomfortable"
- New Zune stores 40,000 paperclip animations
- Commercial airlines in the U.S. decide to follow Vatican Air's lead
- Martial-arts secrets revealed
- Chapel Hill evacuation plans finalized
- Driver hits student, leaves note
- North Korea's Facebook Profile
-BoUNCe: Thanks for taking the
time for the interview, Chancellor.
-CM: You are mighty welcome.
I am always trying to support
the arts in the University.
-B: Well, thanks. So, where were
you last year when Congress threatened
to cut our funding, huh? Maybe
we could’ve used part of your raise?
Just kidding. Anyway, are you familiar
with BoUNCe, Chancellor?
-CM: Oh yes, I love the magazine.
I dont see how you write some
of those articles! So funny! And
you don’t have to call me Chancellor.
You can just call me Chance.
-B: Ok, Chancey. It’s great that
you read the magazine. What is your
favorite part? Any favorite writer?
-Chancenator: Oh, I enjoy
them all, I couldn’t pick a favorite.
-B: What about a favorite article?
Have you read any of mine?
-Chancetron: Oh sure, you’re ok.
Kinda funny. You seem to rely on making
fun of other people that you dont
know, and you don’t take into acount
how they feel. But still, pretty funny.
-B: Oh, I see what you’re saying.
Thanks! Say, aren’t you like in charge of
the University? Like grades and stuff?
-Chance-In-A-Million: Well, grades
are up to professors and I still have to
answer to the BOT and then there’s...
-B: But still you pull a pretty
big gun around here. You could
easily sway a grade or two. Say
bump up a GPA a point or two?
-Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chancellor:
Oh no, I couldn’t do that.
-B: Not even for your favorite writer
in your favorite magazine?(Interviewer
bites his index finger seductively)
-LastChance: Ok, I see what this
interview is about. Absolutely not.
-(interviewer takes off his pants)
-Chancellor Danger: ...Well, I’m sure
I can talk to your professor about it.
