Hot off the Press:

The Gender Awareness Issue
September 2007

• New cheap burrito place a cause for rejoicing
• Law school students defend school from themselves
• Vegetarian misses irony in love of 'Duck' Hunt
• Students show up to multicultural fair solely for the food

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Eve Carson should break up with her BF

Hey, Sam

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Why Freshmen will not get laid:

1. Lanyards (60.3%)
2. Abstinence Sex-Ed (4%)
3. High School Sweetheart (18%)
4. D&D (3%)
5. ED (5%)
6. VD (10.7%)

September 2007 Articles

• Center Spread: Operation Lactation
  - Harrell, Hodges, and Wolper
• Top ten things on the average male's mind
  - BoUNCe Staff
• Garfield named first true American epic
  - Gannon Hubbard
• BoUNCe reporter interviews, scandalizes Chancellor Moeser
  - Sam Morgan
• Critics pan new bin Laden film
  - Benjamin Ossoff
• Jesus detained by airport security
  - Will Niver
• D&D reference ruins mediocre Date
  - Sarah Wolper
• INFORMATIONAL emails trans-phobic, says Gender Studies Department
  - Andy Jones
• Ask Alli
  - Alli Cooke
• Freshman misled by local business name, brunch with parents "uncomfortable"
  - Will Niver
• New Zune stores 40,000 paperclip animations
  - Matthew Wait
• Commercial airlines in the U.S. decide to follow Vatican Air's lead
  - Kristen Cresante
• Martial-arts secrets revealed
  - Paul Preston
  
• Chapel Hill evacuation plans finalized
  - Will Niver
  
• Driver hits student, leaves note
  - Sarah Hodges
  
• North Korea's Facebook Profile
  - BoUNCe Staff
  

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Top ten things on the average male's mind:

1. Boobs
2. X-ray vision or mind control? Definitely mind control...
3. I'd go gay for Clive Owen
4. A ninja could attack me RIGHT NOW
5. Super Smash Brothers theme music
6. Ooh! Doughnuts!
8. Could I punch that guy and get away with it?
9. Jessica Biel
10. If I sit facing the window, I'll see them before they break in. Ninjas best watch the hell out!