EVA: The Musical

by Phil Lee

Stage Direction and Extra Gags by Heather Walker

Version 1.2 05/02/05 [additions by Michael Pollock 5/28/2007, changes and notes in bold and brackets]

Source Material: http://www.unc.edu/coup/eva/

 

CAST

 

SHINJI

ASUKA

REI

MISATO

RITSUKO

MAKOTO

GENDOU

KAJI

ANGEL

ANGEL 2

MINION

TEACHER

FANBOY

 

SCENE 1

 

[Crew directions: Crew Right and Left enter SR and SL, set Tokyo-3 backdrop.  Each brings up some buildings and places them all across US.  Crew Right and Left exit SR and SL.]

 

Lights up.

 

[Scene:Tokyo-3 backdrop and a few (cardboard) buildings upstage.  MINION enters SL to CS with a placard warning the audience that "This Musical Contains Spoilers. Rated PG."  After giving the audience time to read, MINION exits SR as SHINJI enters SL.]

 

Track 1 begins.

 

SHINJI: [Looking around, anxious, excited]

I was alone and suicidally lonely

'Til my dad said, "Yo! Downtown!" [moves CS]

Though I had been abandoned my precence is demanded

So I've gotta go - downtown!

After sending me away so I won't be a bother

Suddenly I'm summoned by my cold and distant father

Oh, what the hell.  [moves DS]

 

How much trouble could I get in? 

It sure beats sitting and playing with my violin.

I'll go downtown!  Just how bad could it be?

Downtown!  Someone there might love me.

Downtown!  Shinji is coming for you!  [throws arms out flamboyantly]

 

[MISATO enters SR to DS to SHINJI's right, "driving" with steering wheel in hand.]

 

MISATO:

My name's Misato, just hop into my auto

And we'll head into - downtown.

I'm here with orders to take you to headquarters

Where there's lots to do - downtown.

The reason why we brought you here will come as quite a shocker.

You'll get a clue as soon as you stop staring at my knockers

[MISATO gets SHINJI's attention from her chest.]

Let's hit the road.

 

[Begin “driving” around stage: from CS to DSL to USL to CS.]

 

Everyone is waiting there,

You can meet up with your father...

 

[ANGEL enters SR, shambling amongst the buildings USR.]

 

SHINJI: [pointing, horrified]

What's that thing over there!?

 

[ANGEL takes a step toward them, they drive DSR.]

 

MISATO:

Let's go downtown! They've got a petting zoo!  [points to ANGEL]

Downtown!  Didn't your pop tell you?

Downtown!  It's time for monster-ful now! [MISATO throws wheel]

 

[Instrumental break.  As action goes on, all three break to face audience and enthusiastically sing, "Downtown!"  MISATO and SHINJI bolt US to hide behind two buildings.  ANGEL closes on SHINJI, but MISATO comes out from behind her building, taps ANGEL on the right shoulder, confusing him, and ducks to the left, grabbing SHINJI from behind the building.  MISATO drags SHINJI to DSR and they crouch/bend down low as if still hiding.  ANGEL continues looking around the buildings for his prey.  They break to face audience and sing another, “Downtown!”]

 

MISATO:

It's good to find you're of a mind to go and meet that critter.

I'm sure you two will be good friends - try not to look so bitter.

Now come along.  [MISATO stands and lifts SHINJI, who is unwilling to move and gently pulls back.]

 

It's time to go stop that thing

Though you look kinda scrawny and not much for fighting.

We'll go downtown!  Try not to have a cow.  [SHINJI shrinks back.]

Downtown!  Don't curl up fetal now!

Downtown!  Destiny's waiting for you!

 

[MISATO pushes SHINJI and exit SR.  ANGEL jazz-hands his way across stage to exit SL, singing "Downtown, downtown..." as song fades until he exits.]

 

Track 1 fade to off.

Lights down.

 

SCENE 2

 

[Crew directions: Crew Right and Left enter SR and SL, placing NERV backdrop and removing the buildings from US.  Crew Right removes steering wheel.  Crew Left brings up folding chair for MAKOTO and places it far DSL.  Crew Right brings up folding chair for MINION and places it far DSR.  Crew Right and Left exit SR and SL.]

 

Actors take places.

 

Lights up.

 

[Scene: NERV backdrop and two chairs seating MAKOTO DSL and MINION DSR who are acting busy and facing the audience as if it were a monitor.  RITSUKO stands DSR, occasionally writing things in her notepad, reaching up to touch the "screen."  MISATO and SHINJI enter SR and cross behind RITSUKO, MINION, and MAKOTO as they say their opening lines, ending up at SL.]

 

MISATO: And here we are in NERV's beautiful, underground world headquarters!

 

SHINJI: Um...exactly what is NERV?

 

MISATO: It's like the Mickey Mouse Club, only better.

 

SHINJI: That explains all the singing.  Does this make you Annette?

 

MISATO: [Showing off her chest] Yes, only better.  And here's the man in charge of our happy bunch!

 

[GENDOU enters SR, ending up between and slightly behind RITSUKO and MINION.]

 

RITSUKO, MINION, MAKOTO, MISATO (or CAST):

Who's the leader of the gig to save humanity? 

G-E-N!  D-O-U!  I-K-A-R-E!

 

GENDOU: That's I-K-A-R-I you idiots.

 

SHINJI: Father.

 

GENDOU: Son.  [pause for a moment then begin again enthusiastically]  Shinji!  Long time no se!  How's it going?  [continue next line without hearing SHINJI's repsonse]

 

SHINJI: Well...

 

[Crew Right and Left enter SR and SL, rush up from either side of stage and place backdrop of EVA unit.  Crew Right and Left exit SR and SL.]

 

GENDOU: Great, that's really great.  [puts his arm around SHINJI, conspiratorilly...is that a word?]  Listen, how about doing your old man a favor by getting in that big ol' robot [points dramatically behind toward backdrop] and fighting off the thing that's tearing up the city, eh?

 

SHINJI: What!? [pulls back, upset]

 

[RITSUKO turns to action, becoming interested.]

 

GENDOU: Trust me, it'll only take a few minutes.  Jump in the mecha, go beat up the angel - why, you'll be right back home again just in time for dinner!

 

RITSUKO: [taking a step toward CS]  Sir, I object!  Your son has no training whatsoever and you want to send him out to fight an angel?

 

GENDOU: Well it's him or Rei.

 

[REI enters SR, limping and helped onto stage by Crew Right.  They dump her by MINION, DS, where she collapses.  Crew Right exits SR.]

 

REI: Hai...

 

RITSUKO: Good point.  Shinji, get in the EVA.  [goes back to work writing in her pad, DSR]

 

SHINJI: Hold on just a minute.  Why on earth would you drag a random kid in from off the street and put him in charge of piloting a giant robot?

 

GENDOU: Because I enjoy torturing teenagers.

 

SHINJI: ...really?

 

GENDOU: [laughing a bit too heartily]  Oh no, no, not at all!  [more laughter] No, of course not.  [chuckles]  The thought never rossed my mind.  Right, Ritsuko?

 

RITSUKO: [gives REI a swift kick, laughing]  Of course not sir.

 

REI: Hai.

 

SHINJI: Okay, but I still don't understand.  Why me?

 

Track 2

 

[GENDOU puts his arm around SHINJI, CS.  MISATO stands back to DSL. MISATO, RITSUKO, MAKOTO and MINION bop back and forth with music.]

 

GENDOU:

[spoken] You see Shinji,

 

In this world, don’t know why,

Monsters drop from the sky

Someone’s got to turn them to goo

You’ve got to fight an angel or two.

 

You’ve got to fight an angel or two, boys,

You’ve got to fight an angel or two!

 

CAST: [RITSUKO and MISATO lean forward toward audience]

We don’t want you turned to goo.

You’ve got to fight an angel or two!

[Gendou:  something about government work, like ‘who says government work doesn’t pay?,’ I’m not sure what the exact wording was and this could be the wrong place]

 

GENDOU:
Tanks and such just don’t work
[ANGEL enters SR, sneaking to USL.]

Angels have their little quirks

To make them yield use your AT-Field [At USL, ANGEL makes a face and shakes ass]

To go and fight an angel or two! [ANGEL exit SL]

 

You’ve got to fight an angel or two, boys.

You’ve got to fight an angel or two!

 

CAST:

They wield their own AT-Field.

So go and fight an angel or two!

 

GENDOU:

We would fight if we could

But, alas, it’s just no good. [RITSUKO and MISATO lean in and shake finger]

If you aren’t fifteen then no machine [GENDOU motions back to EVA backdrop]

Will let you fight an angel or two.

 

You’ve got to fight an angel or two, boys.

You’ve got to fight an angel or two!

 

CAST:

We aren’t keen to force a teen,

But help us fight an angel or two!

 

GENDOU:

If we don’t stop them soon,

Everyone on Earth is doomed.

Make up your mind to save mankind [GENDOU shakes SHINJI’s shoulders a bit]

And help us fight an angel or two.

 

You’ve got to fight an angel or two, boys. [GENDOU puts arm around SHINJI]

You’ve got to fight an angel or two!

[Make up your mind to save mankind.  You’ve got to fight an angel or two…]

 

Track 2 fade to off.

 

GENDOU: So how ‘bout it? [take SHINJI by the shoulders]  Remember, it’s you or Rei.

 

Track 3

 

[REI struggles to get to her feet, gasping in pain.  SHINJI sighs.]

 

Track 3 fade to off.

 

SHINJI: Alright, alright, I’ll pilot the Eva!  But just this once, ok?

 

GENDOU: Sure, sure, no problem.  Off you go! [shoves SHINJI SR]

 

[SHINJI exits SL.  MISATO steps next to GENDOU.]

 

MISATO: Well, what do you think, sir?

 

GENDOU: We’re doomed.

 

[Off stage, SHINJI screams.]

 

GENDOU: Completely, utterly doomed.

 

REI: Hai.

 

Lights down.

 

SCENE 3

Part 1

 

[Crew directions: Crew Right and Left enter SR and SL and place NERV backdrop.  Exit SR and SL.]

 

Actors take places.

 

Lights up.

 

[Scene: NERV Headquarters backdrop.  Everyone in generic NERV HQ positions and looks bored.  MISATO files her nails.  MINION plays with a bounce ball.  MAKOTO reads a book.  RITSUKO looks stoic.  GENDOU sits with his hands before his mouth.  SHINJI enters SR and walks across to DSL.]

 

GENDOU: Ok, so we weren’t completely doomed.  Well done, Shinji!  And you only had to spend three days in the hospital!

 

SHINJI: [sitting on the edge of DSL, to right of MAKOTO, putting on his headphones] I hate you, Dad.

 

Track 4

 

MAKOTO: Sir!  Another angel has appeared on the edge of the city!

 

GENDOU: Well, I guess we’ll have to do something about it, eh?  Misato, who’s going after it?

 

Track 4 volume up.

 

[MISATO looks from REI to SHINJI.  SHINJI bops his head along to the music, not paying attention.]

 

REI: Hai.

 

MISATO: [sighs and walks to SHINJI] Shinji, you’re up!

 

SHINJI: Hunh?

 

Track 4 volume up.

 

MISATO: [lifting his earphones] There’s another angel out there and you’re going to go fight it. [lets the earphones pop back against SHINJI’s ear, and turns to off-stage SL]  HEY KEEP IT DOWN BACK THERE!

 

Track 4 off, no fade.

 

MISATO: That’s better.  Hop to it, kid!

 

Track 5

 

[Crew Right and Left enter SR and SL.  Crew Right brings up the plug suit, Crew Left brings out the changing sheet and flashlight.  The sheet is held up as SHINJI changes behind it right there at DSL.  The sheet has a picture of an EVA covering its naughty bits.] [I think this is the place where Shinji said some thing like ‘O shiyoki yo’ from Sailor Moon (?) after changing into the plug suit]

 

Track 5 fade to off.

 

[As changing is taking place, ANGEL enters from back of house, walking up the center aisle slowly, until he is roughly halfway to the stage.  When changing sheet comes down, SHINJI throws up a Sailor Moon pose.  Crew Right and Left exit SR and SL, and SHINJI stands DS to confront ANGEL who now turns on his flashlight “laser” as does SHINJI.]

 

SHINJI: Alright, alright!  Hey!  You!  This town isn’t beig enough for the both of --

 

[ANGEL “hits” SHINJI with his flashlight beam while making a zapping noise of some sort, and SHINJI screams, collapsing where he stands.  RITSUKO rushes to SHINJI’s side and begins fanning him, checking his pulse, etc.]

 

GENDOU: [angry] What was that supposed to be?

 

RITSUKO: At a guess, first degree burns.

 

MISATO: Oh, they’ve got laser beams, now?  Lovely.

 

RITSUKO: Not only that, but the angel has stopped just above us and is currently boring its way through our defenses!

 

[ANGEL approaches the front of the stage and begins drilling with a handheld drill at the stage for a bit.]

 

GENDOU: [hands before his mouth, in contemplation]  How close can we get to this thing without it blasting us?

 

MISATO: Let’s find out.  Oh, Shinji!

 

[Crew Right and Left enter SR and SL, lift SHINJI and frog-march him to DSR and hold him forward, and ANGEL hits SHINJI with his flashlight laser, eliciting a scream from SHINJI.  Repeat for DSL.  Crew Right and Left give up and drop SHINJI DS, where he collapses.  Crew Right and Left exit SL.]

 

RITSUKO: Perhaps if he approached from the back of the room?

 

[SHINJI curls up fetal, whimpering]

 

RITSUKO: Come on you big baby!  You’re not hurt!  Walk it off!

 

MAKOTO: How about we get a really big laser gun, set it up outside the Angel’s defensive perimeter, feed it the entire power output of the convention -

 

MISATO: Country.

 

MAKOTO: ...Right.  Country.  And have Shinji blast the thing from far away while Rei shields him from retaliation?

 

[Everyone pauses a beat, looking around.]

 

GENDOU: I knew there was a reason we kept you around here.  Operation Maybe We Won’t All Die Horribly...begin!

 

[GENDOU, RITSUKO, MINION exit SR.  MISATO, MAKOTO exit SL.]

 

 

SCENE 3

Part 2

 

[Crew directions: Crew Right and Left enter SR and SL and place Tokyo-3 backdrop.  Crew Right moves MINION’s chair just right of DS.  Crew Left moves MAKOTO’s chair just left of DS.  Crew Right and Left exit SR and SL.]

 

[Scene: Tokyo-3 backdrop.  All cast except REI clears from the stage.  REI sits in MINION’s chair.  SHINJI stands, pained, and limps a little to MAKOTO’s chair.]

 

SHINJI: Um, hey there Rei.  Mind if I join you?

 

REI: ...

 

SHINJI: Right.  [sits down]  Well...it’s just...I’ve barely said anything to you since I got here and I thought we should talk before our latest desperate attempt to save mankind.

 

REI: ...

 

SHINJI: I mean, it’s just that I’m really nervous.  There’s a lot riding on this mission.  What if I’m not up to it?  Do you really think I can do this?

 

REI: [there is a pause before REI grabs SHINJI’s arm begins singing]

 

You’ll be swell!  You’ll be great! 

Gonna have the whole world on the plate!

Starting here, starting now,

Honey, everything’s coming up roses!

 

[REI jumps from her chair, facing the audience, singing with flamboyant hand gestures.]

 

Clear the decks!  Clear the tracks!

[Crew Right and Left enter from SR and SL, wearing labcoats.  RITSUKO enters SR, holding a syringe, tapping it.]

You’ve got nothing to do but relax!

[Crew holds REI down and RITSUKO “sticks” REI with the syringe, making REI trail off on the last few bars of the song.]

Blow a kiss.  Take a bow.

Honey, every...thing’s...hai.

 

[Crew Right and Left exit SR and SL.]

 

RITSUKO: [standing right of REI]  Sorry about that, Shinji.  Sometimes her meds wear off.  We’ll just let you get back to your conversation.  [RITSUKO exits SR]

 

SHINJI: [pause] So...uh...like I said, do you think everything will be alright?

 

REI: Hai.

 

SHINJI: [unconvinced] Great.

 

MISATO: [entering briskly from SL]  Right, the hopes and dreams of the entire planet are riding on your shoulders.  [pats SHINJI’s shoulder].

 

[Crew Right and Left enter SR and SL.  Crew Right brings trashcan lid and hands it to REI.  Crew Left brings flashlight and hands it to SHINJI.  Crew Right leaves with REI’s chair and Crew Left leaves with SHINJI’s chair.  Crew Right and Left exit SR and SL.]

 

MISATO: No pressure!  [begins walking off SL and calls over her shoulder] Hit it! [exit SL]

 
Lights down.
 
[SHINJI shines his flashlight at ANGEL and makes zap noise, who shines right back making zap noise.  REI blocks ANGEL’s light with her shield.  ANGEL drops his octagon prop blandly and exits back of House.  REI collapses.] 
 
Lights up.
 
GENDOU:  [enter SR to REI] Great work, guys!
 
SHINJI:  Uh, is she going to be alright?
 
[REI sits up.]
 
GENDOU:  Don't worry, Shinji.  [hands on his belt or runs a hand through his hair, sleezily]  Doctor Gendou's special medicine will fix 
her right up.
 
SHINJI:  [pause] Um.
 
[REI stands, mechanically.]
 
GENDOU:  You know, I'm really proud of you Shinji.
 
SHINJI:  Really?  Do you mean it?
 
GENDOU:  No, not really.  Come on, Rei! [arm around REI]
 
[REI and GENDOU exit SR.  SHINJI looks like someone kicked him in the teeth.]
 
Lights down.
 
SCENE 4
[Crew directions: Crew Right and Left enter SR and SL and place Battleship backdrop.  Crew Right removes Rei’s shield.  Crew Right and Left exit SR and SL.]
 
Actors take places.
Lights up.
Track 6.
 
[Scene: Battleship backdrop.  MISATO and SHINJI stand CS, looking out to the audience as if looking out to sea.  MISATO holds a pair of binoculars.  SHINJI’s arms are folded, doesn’t want to be there.  REI stands DSR, eating popcorn, oblivious to her surroundings.]
 
SHINJI:  Why are we here again?
Track 6 fade to off.
 
MISATO:  The German branch of NERV is sending over our latest monster 
killing machine.  Oh, and a giant robot, too.
 
[ASUKA enters SR and walks between SHINJI and MISATO, pushing SHINJI out of the way.]
 
ASUKA:  [to MISATO] Don't worry, it also kills monsters.  Guten tag!  I'm Asuka Langley Soryu!
 
SHINJI:  Gesundheit.
 
ASUKA:  [turning to SHINJI, snidely] That's my line.  [reaches to shake his hand] Are you a fellow Eva pilot?
 
MISATO:  That depends on what you mean by "pilot".
 
ASUKA:  Flailing wildly about and causing massive amounts of 
collateral damage with a giant robot?
 
MISATO:  That sounds about right.
 
[KAJI enters SR and MISATO takes a small step toward SL in disgust, making room for him to stand next to her.]
 
KAJI:  [as he enters] And if there's anyone here who knows about flailing wildly, it's Misato.
 
MISATO:  Oh, god, not you.
 
KAJI:  Howdy, babe.
 
MISATO: [sighing loudly] Guys, meet my ex-boyfriend, Kaji Ryoji.
 
SHINJI:  [reaching in front of ASUKA, offering a hand to shake] Hello Mr. Ryoji, my name's Shinji...
 
KAJI: [cuts SHINJI off] Go away, kid, you bother me.  [turns back to MISATO]
 
SHINJI:  [snaps hand back] Yes sir, Mr. Ryoji!
 
KAJI: [leaning left elbow on MISATO’s right shoulder] So...doing anything later tonight?
 
SHINJI: [leans in front of ASUKA, hands clasped] I'm free!
 
KAJI:  [makes a shooing motion with free hand] Not you, kid.
 
ASUKA:  [grabs KAJI around the waist] If Kaji's going to hook up with any teenagers around here, it's going to be me.  
 
MISATO:  What in the hell are you doing here?
 
[MISATO leans away just enough so that KAJI falls a little toward SL, forcing ASUKA to pull down KAJI’s pants, revealing leopard print boxers.]
 
KAJI:  [quickly pulling up boxers] Gendou hired me to do a few odd jobs for NERV.
 
MISATO:  Such as?
 
KAJI:  For starters, bugging the hell out of you.
 
MISATO:  By dating fifteen year olds?
 
KAJI:  [should have his pants up by now] No, that's just a hobby.  [half-step forward to look at REI] You wouldn't happen to be fifteen, would you?
 
REI:  Hai.
 
KAJI:  Fantastic!  Want to go out for dinner sometime?
 
REI:  Hai.
 
KAJI:  Now that's my kind of woman.
 
MISATO: [furious, stamps foot] Kaji!
 
KAJI:  [back to MISATO] No, seriously, I'm here to keep an eye on the new Eva and help out if anything should happen.  [folds arms, nodding, self-satisfied]
 
[ANGEL enters USR, jumping out at REI]
 
ANGEL: [I’m-gonna-get-you motions] Grr Arg! [ala production closing credits in Buffy/Angel/Firefly shows]
 
KAJI:  And by "help out," I mean, "run for it."  Later, guys.  
 
[KAJI exits SR, running]
 
MISATO:  Aw, not again.
 
Track 4, loud.
 
EVERYONE:  [except REI] STOP THAT!
 
Track 4 off, no fade.
 
SHINJI: I hope you don't expect me to fight that thing without an Eva handy!
 
[Crew Right and Left enter SR and SL.  Crew Right takes REI’s popcorn.  Crew Left takes MISATO’s binoculars.  Crew Right and Left exit SR and SL.]
 
ASUKA:  [as Crew moves] Who said anything about you?
 
Track 7.
 
[ASUKA steps DS, facing audience, singing with flamboyant hand gestures, all smiles.  Others form a line behind her, snapping their fingers and bopping their hips, ala West Side Story.  SL to SR, order is as follows: MISATO, ANGEL, REI, SHINJI.]
 
ASUKA:
Times have changed
And humanity's fighting back,
Since Antarctica got a smack, [beat, then everyone claps once]
When we endured Second Impact.
 
If today,
Our fair planet God would condemn,
Instead of causing the Third Impact,
I am gonna impact him.  [thumbs over shoulder at ANGEL]
 
[MISATO, ANGEL, REI, and SHINJI begin grapevining: beginning with a right step, cross, right step, left heel, reverse, repeat.]
 
In olden days an Eva pilot
Was always a shrinking violet,
But now, God knows,
Anything goes.
 
[Grapevining stops during this verse, back to step-kicking, ANGEL steps DS to ASUKA’s left, SHINJI steps DS to ASKUA’s right.]
 
Good fighters, too, who once used rifle shots [ASUKA makes gun point at ANGEL, who shields himself with arms.]
Now use big honkin' robots [SHINJI flexes]
When fighting foes, anything goes!
 
[With each line in this verse ANGEL tries to reach around the front then the back of ASUKA to get at SHINJI.  SHINJI, in turn, evades leaning to the right or left, opposite of ANGEL’s grabs.  Beginning with the first line, ANGEL grabs behind ASUKA forcing SHINJI to lean DS, so on.]
 
SHINJI:
The Angel's on top of us!
ASUKA:
There's no stopping us
SHINJI:
I can't fight today!
ASUKA:
Well, that's right today
SHINJI:
We're gonna drown today! [ANGEL and SHINJI cease their actions and move back to places behind ASUKA]
ASUKA:
It's going down today 
As everyone knows.
 
[MISATO, ANGEL, REI, and SHINJI grapevine.]
 
And despite Shinji's useless prattle
I know that I'll win the battle
Against all foes,
Anything goes!
 
[MISATO, ANGEL, REI, and SHINJI stop grapevining, begin step-kicking.]
 
While Misato avoids ex-lovers [MISATO stops stepkicking to spread arms and spin once, slowly, during this verse.]
I'll lure them beneath the covers!
As she well knows,
Anything goes!
 
When pilots are abused by fathers [SHINJI stops stepkicking to spread arms and spin once, slowly, during this verse.]
They wish Dad was rather like all 
Those average joes,
Anything goes!
 
[For this refrain, ASUKA begins the action, then each character takes on a new aspect of the line being sung, clockwise, until it ends with ASUKA acting the “gonzo” line, and everyone acting the last line.]
 
If saving the world you like [flex muscles]
If spears hurled you like [throw a spear]
A bit of class you like [bow and tip hat]
If kicking ass you like [kick]
If Heino you like [beer sway]
Or me gonzo you like [shake boobs]
Then settle back for the show [left hand on hip, right on head, lean back]
 
[MISATO, REI, and SHINJI step-kick in place.  ANGEL begins stalking up to ASUKA.]
 
When every week another critter
Gives me the chance to glitter 
And be aglow [spreads her arms and hits ANGEL in the stomach, knocking him back into formation.]
Anything goes!
 
[Crew Left enters SL with a battleship cutout, walking it across the stage from USL to USR and then back to MISATO in time to hand her the ship as she explains to ASUKA how to kill ANGEL.]
 
MISATO:
The code name is Gaghiel
ASUKA:
I'll send it to hell!
MISATO:
The core's inside of it [Crew Left hands ship to MISATO, exit SL]
Open the mouth a bit  [MISATO hands ship to ASUKA]
Feed it a battle ship [ASUKA “feeds” ship to ANGEL]
And then we'll let 'er rip [ANGEL collapses with ship]
So watch out when it blows
 
ALL (except ANGEL):
And despite Shinji's useless prattle
We know that you'll win the battle 
Against all foes
Anything goes!
 
ASUKA: 
If saving the world you like [flex muscles]
If spears hurled you like [throw a spear]
A bit of class you like [bow and tip hat]
If kicking ass you like [kick]
If Heino you like [beer sway]
Or me gonzo you like [shake boobs]
Then settle back for the show [left hand on hip, right on head, lean back]
 
[ANGEL leaps up to finish in the final chorus.  MISATO, ANGEL, REI, and SHINJI step-kick, with jazz hands.]
 
CAST:
And despite Shinji's useless prattle
We know that you'll win the battle 
Against all foes
Anything goes...
Anything goes!
 
[On this last line, all throw out a hand to audience and bend over in a pose as ANGEL collapses again.]
 
Track 7 fade to off.
Lights down.
 
SCENE 5
Part 1
 
[Crew directions: Crew Right and Left enter SR and SL.  Set backdrop to NERV Headquarters.  Crew Right brings out MINION’s chair and sets it far DSR.  Crew Left brings out MAKOTO’s chair and sets it far DSL, and also brings out the computer box which goes to the right of MAKOTO’s chair, and the Chairleg of Truth which goes behind MAKOTO’s chair.  Crew Right and Left exit SR and SL.]
 
[Scene: NERV Headquarters backdrop.