The "New Age" Family: Step Parenting & Paganism Facilitator : Arcadia Date : 28 September 1997

Red Deer: Before we begin, please consider leading a session of Wicca 101... everyone has something to offer! To volunteer, E-mail me: HUZD95A@prodigy.com
1) Please keep all BBs, MMs, MPs, and side-conversations in IM for the duration of class.
2) Please hold questions and comments until our facilitator opens the floor.
3) Should an exclusion be called, PLEASE cease talking to or about the excludee immediately (except in IM).
4) Would one or two who expect to attend the entire class please log for back-up?
With that, I pass that heavy ole besom to

LadyOfPeace: {~~~~~~logging

Red Deer: Arcadea for discussion of "The New Age Family: Paganism & Step-Parents"

Arcadia: first of all, I want to thank my son Talli for getting me into this {g}and I'm logging too RD

Red Deer: thanks loggers
oh, BTW- I'd also like to thank Arc for taking on the job as secretary for Wicca 101
Thanks {{{sis}}}

Arcadia: In this day and age, many of us find ourselves in the role of step parent. In days of ole, we "wicked step mothers" were automatically called "witches" by those brought under our care. But now a days, frequently, the child has every right to call it's parent a witch, because they often are. I have found myself on both ends of the parenting role, both being a "natural" and a "step" parent. Both have many different challenges. This week I would like to discuss step parenting and next week will discuss Natural Parenting.
There are many things different in a relationship between a Pagan Parent, and a step child. Coming from two households, a child is subject to, often, two sets of values. Some of the 'challenges" I have seen, for my step daughter Amber, is having 2 sets of parents with totally different religious beliefs. In the typical visitation "ritual" Amber spends every other weekend with us. On the Sundays not with us, Amber must attend church. But she is now of an age to start noticing differences, and has started asking questions. How to deal with these questions is tonight's topic.
She happened on me one night as I was setting up for a ritual. "What are these? What are they for? Why do you do that?" A child's natural curiosity.. And there It began! First, I explained to her, how, she was taught to believe in a God, well, I believed in not only a God, but also a Goddess. The concept of that was not overly hard for her to understand, nor was the magic that I showed her as we sat playing with the flame of a candle in Circle. But getting her to understand the difference between my Gods or Goddess, and hers, was another chore in itself.
I had to take into account, that this child was being raised in a whole other household. That while her father shared my believes, her mother didn't. It was a different situation than I had ever found myself in. I had to teach her that there was no "right or wrong" in this situation. That everyone was entitled to their beliefs. As Yule approached, she again started asking questions. Her mom and friends were preparing for Christmas, while her daddy and I talked about Yule..
This is where I want to turn the class over for discussion. The points to guide us being
1. A multi-family religious setting, dealing with different family religions...
2. The different social aspects, IE: Christmas, solstices, etc
3. Do I "teach" this child my religion, what age is old enough? Do we let her observe, and ask questions?
I now open the floor

TaoSpirit: Arc, how old was she when this began? And is there an agreement to raise her in one faith or the other? (I'm assuming the other is Christian.)

LadyOfPeace: To ask is the only way to learn and form a non-bias opinion

Psalms22 6: but no one is none biased

Red Deer: {{{Arcsis}}} you blow me away {G}

LadyOfPeace: a child is

Arcadia: TaoSpirit, she is now 8, and has been asking questions for about a year, and she was 4 when her father and I got together

Psalms22 6: no

Xori: In my opinion, it is important when dealing with children under the age of ...say 11, that the "similarities" of religions be concentrated on

Red Deer: children are less biased than adults...

LadyOfPeace: Arc...... is this really any different than say a Jewish marrying into Lutheran??

PAniteowl: Arc .. many of us have multiple faiths represented in our families ..

Xori: it takes out the element of fear in something they are not familiar with

Red Deer: and the younger they are, the less biased they are Psalms

LadyOfPeace: Very true Red Deer

elmn8h8: {---agrees w/host

Arcadia: she attended a "Dutch Reform School" which is what her mother's family is, although she is now in a public school

Psalms22 6: but they are still biased

RedStar: agreed xori.......and if I may expand on that... the commonalties and parallels.

PAniteowl: agree with Xori

LadyOfPeace: only if the adults force them to be Psalms

RedStar: (coming from a multi religious background myself)

Peacemkr32: I feel that to give her all aspects and allow her to learn is the best. Knowledge controls fear

elmn8h8: as a "child", i've had less time for certain ideas to be "planted" into my head, so its easier to be open to other ideas

LadyOfPeace: that brings up a question elm

Hart's Child: I agree with elmn

Arcadia: OK People}}}}}} inter religious family is one thing, but we are dealing with a concept that most religious families do not deal with, multiple Deities

TaoSpirit: What would you say to giving her a solid basis for starting, though? "Raising" her Christian, for instance, to a certain age--and then, when she's more mature, exposing her to other ideas? (Basically what you're doing, I think.)

Red Deer: and even the ones already planted aren't so rigid yet elm

elmn8h8: that's true, i'm just speaking from personal experience

Cloudburst: OTOH, elmn, sometimes ideas planted in kids are called "The Truth", and the child ends up seeing opinions as facts due to lack of experience w/ alternatives...

Red Deer: aye Arc, and MOST folk don't consider other Christians damned, which they most certainly DO consider us to be

RedStar: Arc I have found that when dealing with the curious child.....

RedStar: the best way to explain the concept of multiple. deities...is this......

Arcadia: and not to mention the magickal aspects of our religion, that is unheard of in her "up to now" world

LadyOfPeace: By allowing her to experience and ask questions are you making her biased? or helping her form her own opinion??

TaoSpirit: I think young children need a solid religious experience--a *single* foundation--to start from

RedStar: to explain another God/goddess as an aspect or a certain facet of the divine that you are calling upon or paying tribute to.....

Arcadia: Lady... I hope to introduce her to a sense of "open-mindedness" that she has not known before this

Hart's Child: one should not teach a child to fear but only to love. That is the foundation I got and it has done wonders for me

Red Deer: aye TaoSpirit... but I think our "single" foundation is open enough to allow them to explore any other path

Xori: I would expand on what red said in saying that the device is within ourselves

LadyOfPeace: I know you do Arc but that was in reference to "planting" ideas that Elm spoke of

Psalms22 6: but love is not natural

elmn8h8: i think that it is probably best to focus on one religion as a child grows up, but to also show them other religions and explain that they are not "evil" or receive any less respect than their own

Peacemkr32: I think it's important to Show her the similarities of both first

Elenya: excuse me, Psalms? Love IS natural hate is not

Hart's Child: it is often easier to understand similarities

Cloudburst: Arc, with my granddaughters their mom and I are faced with a similar situation (fundamentalist dad w/ weekends) - we're taking a stance that "the ways are many/the light is one" and

Psalms22 6: we must be taught love

melilot: hate is natural also every emotion is natural

TaoSpirit: Agreed, Host. And it's important to respect the wishes of the birth parents, as well. It seems as if Arc and her extended family are approaching it with respect . . . but not all would do so. Respect is what will make it all work.

Cloudburst: talking about the ethical, etc. similarities rather than focusing on who one worships

RedStar: Good example...........say you just won a few bucks in the lotto....and in exchange for that
blessing of "Luck"...you are paying tribute to that aspect of God known as fortune or fate....

LadyOfPeace: Did God have to be taught love?

Peacemkr32: No Psalms, we Do Love. It is Hate that we are taught

Elenya: hate isn't an emotion in my book meli

J Plante: Hey, there

Palastien: when i first changed my path Targe and i opted to celebrate both aspects at Yule we know have a Yule celebration and a Xmas one our children are know learning about our beliefs and where raised

Hart's Child: did you not love your mother when you were first in her womb psalm?

RedStar: it is just as important to acknowledge the Differing Aspects of God, as it is to acknowledge the Whole Aspect of God.

Palastien: with the Xtian beliefs and can decide for them selves

melilot: its the opposite of love and if love is an emotion so is hate when you see children starving because of the countries policies don't you hate the policies that allow that

LadyOfPeace: That will be the fun this Season for Peace and I Pal

Arcadia: ah Cloud,,,, that is what I hope to achieve too, it's unfortunate for the children though that there are so many other outside influences, ie.. school, friends, etc... that seem to work against

Xori: well said Red

J Plante: Tell me about your religion, please

Palastien: it has worked well for us

Cloudburst: Gettin' tough now, though - the 13-y-o really wants to explore and we know dad would hit the ceiling. *sigh*

TaoSpirit: Pala, we will celebrate Christmas, the secular holiday, at our house. We have a Christian child (Christian on his father's side), pagan mother and Zen father. He won't suffer from being too "different" from his friends in that way.

PAniteowl: Well, the Spirit of Santa Claus is a good reference point to start from when explaining to Children the spirit of the season IMHO

TaoSpirit: . . . we just don't pretend it's religious. It's just a seasonal thing, for us.

LadyOfPeace: this will be the kids first Yule experience

RedStar: (bows respectfully).........thank you Xori.

Red Deer: rofl... We'll NEVER stop celebrating Christmas!

Cloudburst: We're just approaching everything from the comparative religions standpoint

Red Deer: and the older the girls get, the more they celebrate Yule with us too!

Arcadia: see, the aspects of a god and goddess were not all that difficult for her to understand, it's the difference in our "cultures" that is

TaoSpirit: Exactly, Host

Xori: My opinion on interacting with children in the "teen" mode - we must remember that teens are into "danger" and therefore we must be careful to be quite precise when explaining to them

Peacemkr32: True Red Deer... Too much commercialism for industry

LadyOfPeace: me either Red Deer...... I see it as Santa and reindeer..... not the birth of Christ

Palastien: we are now also raising a two year old in our home and we be facing many questions soon i am sure

TaoSpirit: It's being older. I do believe that it is irresponsible to introduce a child to all this multiplicity too early.

Red Deer: sis, I think understanding cultural variability blossoms more in the teen years...

Psalms22 6: but to compare you must show differences. how do you reconcile that

Red Deer: just dealing with the deities and rituals is doing GREAT at 8, IMO

GoldenKnight: WHAT ARE PAGANS BELIEF ON DEATH

J Plante: Do you believe in an afterlife?

Peacemkr32: Golden, as far as Mine, the death is merely a transition

melilot: PAGANS BELIEVE EVERYTHING DIES SOONER OR LATER

LadyOfPeace: a transition to the next plane

J Plante: I agree, Peace

melilot: sooner if they keep yelling

Arcadia: Golden... this is a class and you are off topic!!!!!!!

PAniteowl: hehehe

elmn8h8: why do u think that is host?

Hart's Child: lol meli

Elenya: aye, Arc

Red Deer: folks... our topic is PARENTING

Cloudburst: rofcackling, meli{G}

J Plante: Everything DOES die, that lives

TaoSpirit: Specific questions and situations are a good time to start bringing up different perspectives . . . like death, for instance, yes

RedStar: yes golden, and yes J...we do believe in an after life....it is just a differing belief than the fundamental one.

LadyOfPeace: Arc that will be a question the child will ask

elmn8h8: b/c the same thing happened to me when i started to become a teen, though i'd had the feeling for a long time that it wasn't really right for me

Peacemkr32: Arc... I was raised by a Protestant father and a solitary practitioner Mother. I think I turned out Ok

Arcadia: I agree TaoSpirit... it becomes more interesting with each Sabbat we have....

TaoSpirit: I think it's a question of supporting the development of a basic belief system in the early years without stating things or reinforcing things that will become dogmatic and difficult to be objective about later

Red Deer: aye TaoSpirit...

Hart's Child: that is one of the first thing everyone who knows I'm pagan has asked me

LadyOfPeace: I think you turned out great {EG}

Arcadia: ARE WE MISSING ONE OF THE VITAL POINTS????????

Red Deer: LOVE!

TaoSpirit: {listening to Arc}

J Plante: FAITH

Arcadia: her "other family" and there beliefs

J Plante: TRUST

RedStar: as I said arc......the main principals I have stated seem to work fine......remember I came from a diverse religious background.....half my family follows the old ways the other half follows the Christian ways....

Red Deer: IMO, if you raise a kid to love, respect and understand... they'll turn out OK AND find a good path

Peacemkr32: Arc. Some points to be made are, 1, can we expand on the child's understanding

J Plante: HOLINESS

TaoSpirit: Yes, that's what I mentioned earlier . . . I think the parents have to work together and respect, find some common ground, until the child is old enough to begin thinking on his/her own

Arcadia: I couldn't agree more EH

Cloudburst: {-applauds EH{G}

TaoSpirit: Agreed, Host

elmn8h8: {---totally agrees w/host

RedStar: yet since we were all exposed to 4 widely different religious philosophies....

melilot: feed them, clothe them, teach them the basics of life and LOVE them

TaoSpirit: you can do that in a non-religious fashion, though

J Plante: May I ask a question? It might offend

Red Deer: while I think the issue of how to address inquisitiveness is VERY important (and you've covered it EXTREMELY well sis)

RedStar: we have never had any problems each others personal religions.....

TaoSpirit: {listening to Plante}

Red Deer: my basic belief is that trust, understanding, respect and love are what make for good kids ---} good adults, regardless of teaching religion

elmn8h8: i may have been raised w/Christian tradition, but the ideas of love, respect and understanding are found in all traditions

J Plante: OK, here it is. Who is your savior?

TaoSpirit: Exactly so

Red Deer: if it's on topic plant... go for it
off topic plant

PAniteowl: Arc .. the fact that you take on the parenting responsibility also means that you should let the child discover who you are ..

J Plante: Sorry. Had to ask

RedStar: again that comes more from the fact that we understand each others ways ....though different on the surface, they are common and are woven in foundations.

elmn8h8: ask us later plant, after class

TaoSpirit: No need for a savior, Plante. Nothing to be saved from. You might cruise a web site for a Wiccan or Pagan FAQ to help you out

PAniteowl: Be yourself Arc .. and any child would be well served {G}

Hart's Child: how does her mother feel about pagans Arc?

melilot: Chocolate is my savior keeps me from killing others

Red Deer: definitely agrees with PA

Arcadia: Try to look at it from the side of the Child.... her "step" mother is so very different from anything she has ever encountered. Lets not forget the feelings of the children, and societies influence on them

Peacemkr32: Ok, Vital question here... How do we answer the Child's question of "Why?"

Arcadia: her mother thinks I'm strange {g}

PAniteowl: Does the child love you Arc?

melilot: but sis........you are {EG}

Red Deer: how can the answer to "WHY?" be given anyway?

Arcadia: yes Owl, she does

Red Deer: except with "Because I believe, feel in my heart, have faith"

Hart's Child: as a kid going b/w Christian and atheist families, it is like being in two different worlds

Peacemkr32: EH, I used that question for a simple reason... it's the most frequent

Arcadia: and that in itself is a big help, because she also trusts me

Red Deer: which is the basis of you trusting her, Arc?

Arcadia: my love for her EH

LadyOfPeace: I have a question

Red Deer: {slaps self for being unclear...

Arcadia: hehehe can I too

Red Deer: I meant her trusting you probably affected you trusting her and actually answering her questions
sure sis, anytime

TaoSpirit: You seem to have a good handle on how to lead the child, Arc . . . I would be more concerned about respecting the Christian beliefs of the mother. She obviously doesn't mind your talking about paganism?

TaoSpirit: Some would have a big taboo with that. I see that as a more common source of friction in these situations.

xHoNeY: BIG

Peacemkr32: Excellent point TaoSpirit

LadyOfPeace: {~~~~~~~raising hand

Arcadia: well, when Amber started drawing pentagrams everywhere, she "hinted" that we might not be so open....

TaoSpirit: She sounds open for discussion, though. That's good.

elmn8h8: its taboo for me to even let my parents see one of my books, let alone actually speak of it, at least if you feel comfortable talking about it, you're further than some of us

Peacemkr32: Arc, do you feel that was how She perceived that Amber may be treated by "society"?

TaoSpirit: Anybody in a more dogmatic situation?

RedStar: their not pentagrams...their Stars.......LOL

PAniteowl: Arc, would her mother feel the same way if it was a 6 sided Star of David?

Arcadia: as long as it's kept " in the dark"!!!

elmn8h8: that's what i told my mom at first red:)

Red Deer: agrees with the need to minimize friction, BUT we also have the right to have our own views respected

elmn8h8: exactly arc, its not that they didn't know, they just wanted to pretend that they didn't

Arcadia: probably not Owl, cause after all, it is still only one God, and "they" don't practice magic

Red Deer: no, they pray, which is the same thing

melilot: yes they do

Red Deer: sort of

elmn8h8: its the same, but its different

zShAdOw: it's that ol' Christian Magic

Peacemkr32: Arc... ask them about birthday cakes....hehehehehehehe

LadyOfPeace: they have the "laying on of the hands"

TaoSpirit: Agreed, Host, but not at the expense of confusing a child. Children grow up, after all, and they ARE going to reach an age where they *will* become aware of differences . . .

Red Deer: as close to same as possible within two radically different world-views

LadyOfPeace: Arc ask them about the 3 Wise Men

Red Deer: Magi?

TaoSpirit: even the existence of differences is enough to get a teen thinking--and that's our goal after all, isn't it, to think things through and not just repeat dogma?

Runningwolfx: all children from birth know differences and see them daily!!

Arcadia: not in this life time Plante,,,,,

elmn8h8: has anybody in here ever read the book, "Are U There God, It's Me, Margaret?" by Judy Blume?

Hart's Child: I did!!!!!

melilot: ROFLMAO arc

Hart's Child: a LONG time ago

TaoSpirit: i've heard her stuff is responsible and solid. Was it useful?

Cloudburst: You hit it, TaoSpirit - avoidance of dogma -} ability to assimilate info when they're older!!!

elmn8h8: see, i can definitely identify with the girl in that book, forced to choose between two religions, both of them belonging to her family, and she finds that she feels truly close to "God" when she'

Peacemkr32: Arc, would the same methods apply when the family's beliefs are Wiccan and the Grandparents aren't ?

elmn8h8: she's alone, not in church or a synagogue

Runningwolfx: I teach my children the history and start from the beginning and talk about how and why each "religion" began etc it is all based on the "old Wise Ones"

Hart's Child: I did too elm

elmn8h8: she felt that she manifested her true spirituality by herself, and didn't need the middle man

TaoSpirit: Well, I do have a number of people question why I "allow" my son to be raised in the Christian faith... but I know he's getting it from a thoughtful, non-fundie perspective, and that his time of questioning will come

Arcadia: I realize that Paganism has come along way, and I never thought it was still so outdated as to the publics perception of us

TaoSpirit: He will obviously be exposed and have access to pagan and Zen Buddhist paths in his own home, and he will be able to question and explore on his own when he is mature

Cloudburst: TaoSpirit, a lot of the people doing the asking probably don't know there are different varieties of 'Christians'{G}

Hart's Child: lucky kid, TaoSpirit

TaoSpirit: That's quite true, Cloud

Peacemkr32: Eh Cloud... they all look the same..........J/K

elmn8h8: true cloud, they "know" there are different denominations, they just don't realize what it means

Cloudburst: {- grew up intellectual Presbyterian. I could have turned out to be ANY thing

TaoSpirit: And if it were a bunch of thumpers where he went to church, I would have problems. But as Host said, it's love and respect he's learning--the teachings of Jesus, not the teachings of "the Bible." Big difference, IMHO

Red Deer: not so sure, elm

TaoSpirit: When he's old enough, he'll ask and learn naturally.

Red Deer: I've understood different denominations since about fifth grade

Runningwolfx: I show my kids all of the sameness of it all then follow their lead when they see the differences

elmn8h8: they tell me that i can't interpret the bible a different way from them and still be Christian, but there are different denominations because there are different interpretations and "traditions"

Cloudburst: Keerect, elm

LadyOfPeace: Arc did you see Peacemkr's question??

TaoSpirit: Frankly, I think it will be harder when he DOES understand the differences and has to cope with difference observances/family customs

Arcadia: no, sorry

elmn8h8: no, i don't mean what each one means, but that it points to the fact that not even all Christians agree with one another

RedStar: welcome to the world of hypocrisy elm......that is how most friction starts....LOL

TaoSpirit: That's true, elm. Another example of not stereotyping

elmn8h8: he he

Peacemkr32: Arc, I asked if the same methods would apply with Christian Grandparents and Wiccan Parents

TaoSpirit: Peace, I have strong feelings about that. The wishes of the parents should prevail. That's the way I feel

Runningwolfx: agreed TaoSpirit we have that problem

Arcadia: not so sure Peace... being as the child does not live with the grandparents, and not so easily influenced as in this situation

Peacemkr32: I agree TaoSpirit, But I'm more as to wondering about the methods of bridging that gap

Cloudburst: Me too, TaoSpirit, and that's a toughie because I'm a Wiccan grandparent dealing w/ a couple of Christian parents{G}

Runningwolfx: my mom forgets I am the MOM of my children...boils down to respect my mom does not show me any

TaoSpirit: But if they are actively interfering or casting doubt on what the parents are building, that's sabotage, pure and simple

Runningwolfx: :( YES TaoSpirit I agree that is what I feel!

ISMAGOODALA: maybe she doesn't want your kids demon possessed

TaoSpirit: Peace, I think it's like anything else--such as grandmothers advising their daughters about feeding or discipline or anything. Grandparents need to remember who the parents are.

melilot: then she should stop seeing them isma cause she's the demon

Runningwolfx: my mom sabotage me

Red Deer: aye TaoSpirit

Cloudburst: Biggest problem I had with the Christian grandparents of MY kids wasn't taking them to church - it was my mom's penchant for using "Christian" as a synonym for "nice"{G}

Arcadia: right TaoSpirit.... and I am her Parent also.... so where does that leave me?

Xori: I agree TaoSpirit

Peacemkr32: Ok, But I needed to ask... I'll be in that situation after Yule

TaoSpirit: I work with breastfeeding moms all the time, Peace, whose mothers don't support them... and they quit . . . it's a gentle but firm discussion of "Please respect me or back off until you can" discussion

LadyOfPeace: LOL Before Yule really Dear

elmn8h8: well, if arc's mom really thinks that her grandchildren are possessed by a demon, then i can kind of understand how she doesn't agree with it, if that's what i thought was going on, i would be horrified

TaoSpirit: It's a different issue, but similar overall situation/tactic

Peacemkr32: Ok, Thank you TaoSpirit

Arcadia: agreed, but a very delicate one

Xori: my daughter - who does go to a Christian church - recently tried to talk me into letting her ride in a car with a boy from her church - she said "but he's from church" - this is to reiterate the "nice"

emn8h8: i didn't mean arc, i meant running(sigh)

TaoSpirit: Because alienation and anger are just as negative as a power struggle

Xori: comment By cloud

Peacemkr32: {---- gets the feeling that there will be no right or wrong. It Just will BE

Cloudburst: rofl, Xori - churchgoers = good drivers?!

Arcadia: lol, my mom has never been sure of me elm {g}

Runningwolfx: elmn what I missed it

Hart's Child: a girl in my sociology class said that the worlds major problems would be solved if more people were Christian

Red Deer: if MY mom were actively getting in the way of how we raise our children - ESPECIALLY with regard to faith

melilot: xori...i've ridden in cars with boys from church DON'T LET HER

elmn8h8: i know what u mean....sometimes i get called my sis's, bro's, or even the dog's name

Red Deer: I have to tell her to butt out till she could accept

Xori: LOL - I know Cloud - I could barely contain myself as I tried to calmly tell her just that

TaoSpirit: It seems that most people here are open enough with their relatives to tackle the issues head-on with family members. The danger arises when people don't communicate...

Arcadia: well said TaoSpirit!!!!!!!!!!1

TaoSpirit: like the grandparents who believe what you're doing is demonic and will pursue (in extreme cases) custody battles

elmn8h8: i was just saying that i could understand how your mom would feel if she thought that u were teaching them about demons(referring to what isma said)

Runningwolfx: Yes Event Host that is what I have done but she will not change so we have not been seeing them as of late

Red Deer: {--- never thought I'd tell most of my family that I

Xori: Meli - my daughter put this boy on speaker phone to say hi to me - he said to me "your daughter's nice"..."she teaches me things"..... "no never mind, she has herpes"!!!! - the nerve!!!!!

Red Deer: am a Witch...

TaoSpirit: The thing to do is to secure (and MAINTAIN) agreement among ALL the parents . . . not to let a parent speak for a step-parent or vice versa, but to let all parties contribute

Peacemkr32: EH, as a Witch, Silence prevails.... Even at home

Xori: needless to say,,, this boy will be talked to - and he should hope it's not by me ( actually, I
called her uncle who also goes to their church)

Red Deer: but found myself explaining the Blue & Green & Horned Gods to a room full of Christian (many fundy) family & friends today

I Search: tough task TaoSpirit

melilot: nice boy xori {EG} i think i called his parents and ask how their child knows if another has herpes {EG}

Runningwolfx: OH elmn no demons we hurt none in other words we take spiders out of the house and let them go!!!

Red Deer: {VBEG}

Peacemkr32: oops, silence

Arcadia: YEA TaoSpirit!!!!!!!!!

elmn8h8: i didn't want to, but in a family of five it was bound to come out, and i wanted it to be on my terms, not have them putting clothes in my drawer one day and find my books and stuff, that would have been really hard

Cloudburst: Holy mackerel, EH. And you're still with us!

TaoSpirit: Parenting IS hard, ISearch. But it's our jobs to think ahead and not let things slide up on us.

Xori: meli - if the uncle's talking doesn't do it - the ol man and her daddy and a few uncles will be going to have a little pow wow with that boy's daddy

Red Deer: much to my surprise...

I Search: yep TaoSpirit

melilot: ROFLMAO love it xori

elmn8h8: oh i know that running, but the question is, what your mom thinks, which could point out why she was treating u that way

TaoSpirit: So yes, there will be some long years ahead that I'll be hiding my books and things from my son... until he's ready to learn about other ways of approaching the Divine

Hart's Child: did your daughter hear him say that?!?!?

Xori: but my point was, that my daughter would even think that saying to me "this boy goes to my church" would make beans of a difference blew me away

Runningwolfx: oh I see what you mean ellmn ...hmmm

Red Deer: TaoSpirit... I never hid anything, even from my wife when she didn't know, except for the rituals themselves.

TaoSpirit: She just wasn't thinking, Xori. It DOES make a diff to the general public

Peacemkr32: I think our Job as Parents is Simple... To Teach our Children how to be the Best People they can be, That should include teaching how to Love

Red Deer: so I'd definitely not hide it from kids...

melilot: it worked for her girlfriends parents xori {G}

xHoNeY: take being white or black...it's more important to explain the similarities early in a child's life, so that they don't concentrate on the differences later on. Same with Wicca and Christianity.

LadyOfPeace: see why I am Handfasting that man?? {EG}

elmn8h8: my parents absolutely detest the fact that i want to be a witch instead of a Christian, but at least now that they have a little bit of an idea of what it is, they usually leave me alone

Xori: that's true TaoSpirit - I could site an example, but it would take up too much space - it's so true though

Arcadia: good point honey

TaoSpirit: Well, I wouldn't in some cases, Host, but I am committed to raising him as a Christian. That means when he is young, I will not do anything to confuse him.

I Search: yes, peace, and teach the children to question.

TaoSpirit: When he's older, he'll discover it inevitably

Xori: exactky Meli

Peacemkr32: We can teach anyone knowledge, But we must Guide them to wisdom

Red Deer: we must each do what works in our own situations TaoSpirit...

Hart's Child: I'm in the same situation elmn8

Xori: my dad still says to me "no you're not a witch" - so I say, "ok dad"

Red Deer: and suspend judgment...

Peacemkr32: {---- Doesn't know where these comments are coming from

elmn8h8: i've found a lot of people are too hart

LadyOfPeace: I am committed to raising my kids to love, honor and respect..... their beliefs have to come from them

TaoSpirit: That's exactly it, Host. We must suspend judgment and help our children come to a place where they can judge for themselves

LadyOfPeace: I do

RedStar: your not a witch xori...your a Meli........LOL

Red Deer: Well, folk, my little clock tells me it be after 10

melilot: ROFLMAO your not a witch by his view of a witch xori

Red Deer: so logs off...

Xori: red!!