Chat Host:

OK! MERRY MEET AND WELCOME TO WICCA 101! Tonight's class is hosted by Lionflower. Her topic is Group Development for Witches. As a courtesy to our host, please keep all greetings, farewells and side conversations in IM until class is over. Likewise, please hold all questions and comments until discussion is called for by our host. Disrupters will be warned once by the Chat Host. If disruptive behavior persists their exclusion will be called for. When an exclusion is called, all are asked to do so WITHOUT comment either to or about the excludee. WITH THAT... LIONFLOWER YOU HAVE THE FLOOR!

LIONFLOWER:

Thank you, Chattie. GROUP DEVELOPMENT FOR WITCHES

This class is ideal for anyone who is about to start a new group, be it a coven or even a study circle. Future leaders of groups (which is potentially all of us) will definitely benefit, and this class may also help groups that are already established because you will learn what to look out for. In Wicca, we are given plenty of literature on how to perform rituals and consecrate tools. We are not, however, given guidelines on how to interact with one another. The goal of this class is to give everyone an idea of what to expect from a newly-formed group. I will pause between each section for questions.

When you're starting out in a new group, any group, there are certain things that have to happen in order for the group to function well as a collective. As witches, we strive for perfect love and perfect trust in our groups. This concept IS attainable, but it takes time and effort from every group member to make it happen. The key is patience. I'm going to take you through the stages that groups go through so that each of you can improve the group you are already in or get off to a good start with a new group. There are four stages of normal "group development". They are: Coming Together, Conflicting Personalities, We Instead of Me, and Gettin It Done. Let's talk a little about each stage so that you can recognize it when it happens to your group.

Stage One: Coming Together

This is the most important stage of group development because foundations are being laid. You have a group of individuals that have come together to worship and learn from each other. Now that you are all together, there are certain things that have to be done. First, you have to establish a temporary leader. This leader will usually be the most qualified person, high priest, or high priestess. If this is a study group most likely you will all be pretty equal in training. You must elect someone to be a temporary leader. The leader's job is just to keep everyone focused on what needs to be done at the meetings. That way conversation doesn't stray too far off of the subject and things actually get done. The leader must also ensure that EVERYONE has a part in the group's decision making. Don't expect to accomplish a lot in the first meeting. The only thing you will probably decide upon is when to meet again. In the following meetings you will be able to decide upon what traditions to use in your worship, how often you will meet, whether or not you will introduce new members, etc. The important thing to remember is that you're not going to accomplish much in the Coming Together stage. It's normal. As a leader, whether you're the informal leader of a study group, or the HPS of the coven, it's important that you get everyone involved in the group's decision making. Everyone has to have a significant role in the group so that they feel they are included and have an impact. Here are a few quick suggestions on what you can do to accomplish this:

1. Make sure everyone has an input on group decisions.

2. Ask for volunteers for on-going tasks, like, someone needs to be in charge of making sure refreshments make it to every Sabbat (if somebody forgets one week this person must have a back-up plan), someone needs to make arrangements for a meeting place, someone has to be in charge of the coven or group funds, etc...

3. Vote on important issues, but not every issue needs to be voted upon. You can usually get the feel of how the majority of the group feels about a certain subject.

4. Even though you may be able to do it better, let a fellow or sister covener have the experience of doing a task to the best of her ability if she has volunteered or been assigned to do a task. If you don't you may lose them because you've trampled on her self esteem. QUESTIONS SO FAR?

WiseWitch:

yes

LIONFLOWER:

Please, WW.

Azrael:

I have a question

LIONFLOWER:

then Azrael

WiseWitch:

in my experience, it's the person with the largest living room who gets to be leader [g] Any comments on that? Kind of like lead in a garage band...

LIONFLOWER:

LOL, WW, that could be, if that's what the group decides.

flowerface:

{g}

LIONFLOWER:

Az?

Azrael:

You said that you strive for perfect love and trust in your groups, should that love and trust extend beyond the group?

LIONFLOWER:

Yes, Az, it can, but when you are working in a coven atmosphere, you must be able to trust one another undoubtedly. It's rare to find that type of love/trust outside of the circle, unless you're talking about a spouse or other intimate relationship

Starhawk:

question

LIONFLOWER:

Starhawk?

Starhawk:

how do you keep people from getting the 'swelled head' syndrome?

LIONFLOWER:

yes, Starhawk?

LIONFLOWER:

Delegating authority

Burningwolf:

I have a question

LIONFLOWER:

go ahead, wolf

Starhawk:

ie: I know the secrets of the universe?

Artemis:

What if One is only looking to start a coven of only 4 people can One still have a discussion group.

Starhawk:

and you don't kind of thing. if you ensure that everyone has a major piece of the pie, it cuts down on powerful big-headedness

LIONFLOWER:

Yes, Artemis, it would be like an intimate circle of 4, and an outside circle of however many in the discussion group

Burningwolf:

As a new group getting together, could you do things with the group other than "meeting" things to help to get to know one another?

LIONFLOWER:

Of course, in fact, if all schedules allow it, wolf, it's ideal to do more than "meetings". Let's go onto the next phase of group development unless there are more questions? Starhawk, did that answer your question?

Starhawk:

Yes it did

LIONFLOWER:

Stage Two: Conflicting Personalities

Okay, you've been meeting for about three weeks, now, and suddenly everyone seems to be arguing about every aspect of the group. Congratulations, you're in the Conflicting Personalities stage! At this point in the group's development, everyone is beginning to feel comfortable enough to let their real personalities show. That, and they are trying to fulfill certain personal needs rather than focusing on what is good for the whole group. What kind of personal needs? One person may need to feel they belong, so their behavior is going to reflect that. She will concentrate more on getting to be everyone's friend rather than what group decisions need to be made at this point. One person may like to be in charge, so she is busy challenging everything the HPS does or says. These are examples of personal needs affecting behavior, and you can see how this could be disruptive to what the group is trying to accomplish. The people who will most likely have the most difficult time adjusting to a group are the people who have been solitaries for a very long time. They are used to doing things a certain way at a certain time with only themselves to please. Remember this and try to be sympathetic, and be sure to hear them out. Help them see that they are working with a group now. It's going to be the folks with the strongest personalities who are making most of the ruckus, but don't be surprised if some of the quieter ones are also coming out with their feelings. The most important thing to remember is this: Don't stop the fighting. Let all of the differences come out and try to resolve them as quickly and thoroughly as possible. This is the only way the group will be able to move on to productivity. It is also likely that the group leader's authority will be challenged, and as the group begins to enter the We Instead of Me stage, you may find that you have a new leader.

QUESTIONS?

Artemis:

yes

Elven Shadow:

Yes

Azrael:

question

LIONFLOWER:

please, Artemis, then Elven, then Az

Artemis:

Does everyone have to have the same Ideas about Wicca. {sorry type slow}

LIONFLOWER:

No. Not even all group members have the same exact ideas about Wicca. It's being able to put aside any major differences and work together toward a common goal that matters. Elven?

Elven Shadow:

So your saying that everyone should let their "better than you" attitudes out... rather than bottle them up?

LIONFLOWER:

Yes, let it out... because if you know you can work through those attitudes when they arise, the group will be stronger for it. If you can't deal with the attitude, then it's better to know early on than later. Azrael?

Azrael:

Shouldn't the person who is most organized... most creative and wise... be the leader at all times?

LIONFLOWER:

Artemis, does that help answer you question?

Azrael:

I mean, rather than changing leaders.

LIONFLOWER:

Not necessarily, Azrael, as people grow in their development, it's healthy for them to have a leadership role now and then. It can always come back to one person, understand, but taking turns never hurts.

Chat Host:

gives people the chance to see how the other shoe fits... so to speak

Elven Shadow:

Question

LIONFLOWER:

... otherwise valuable members of your group might search elsewhere for growth yes, Elven (true, Chattie)

Elven Shadow:

Should there be a vote on a leader? Or appoint one

LIONFLOWER:

I'm not saying, either, to throw unwilling people into

WiseWitch:

Snicker. I've got a story on THAT for later...

Artemis:

Someone wants to join your coven do you teach them first or let them learn first hand.

LIONFLOWER:

leadership positions they don't want, or aren't' ready to handle Elven, whomever gets the group started should lead... and if someone proves to be better at it, then all should be mature enough to let that person take the reigns for a while. Artemis, that depends upon what the entire coven decides to do... and the individual. ( WW, would love to hear the story after class! ) Any more, or should we move on to stage three?

Stage Three: We Instead of Me:

You will recognize this stage of the group's development because the fighting stops and the group is doing things as a team. Everyone is starting to work together and everyone accepts the "rules" that the group set in the last stage. Note here that the rules aren't always going to be those written down or even talked about... they might be things that everyone just "knows". In this stage, everyone is making suggestions, not just the people with the strong personalities. People are starting to help each other out. Instead of a group of individuals, you are beginning to act like a team. Members will start taking initiative to do things that need to be done (like clean up), and there is a lot more smiling and joking with one another. You will also notice that group members are accepting the authority of the leader and responding favorably to her or him.

ElvenShadow:

Everyone starts acting NORMAL.

LIONFLOWER:

QUESTIONS ON STAGE THREE?

That one is pretty basic, and it's really nice. But, it's even better when the group gets to:

Stage Four: Gettin' It Done

At this stage of group development the group is kicking butt. Everyone brings what she is supposed to for the rituals, nobody forgets their part, and there's a lot of laughing and joking. There isn't so much a "leader" anymore because everyone knows what has to be done, why, and how quickly, and people take the initiative to do it. Even if there is an HP and HPS, they are looked upon as friends rather than having a dominant role in the group. Everyone understands his or her place in the group and everyone is comfortable in that place. Competition exists, but it's friendly and without malice. At this stage of development, the leader will probably initiate a vote on something, make arrangements for meeting places, and ask for volunteers to help with the details (like a small group of people to arrange the feast for the next Sabbat). These four stages of group development are standard for any group you become involved with. Just remember that there are factors that may cause the group to slip into one of the previous stages. Slipping could occur for a number of reasons: New people are brought into the group. Someone leaves the group, especially if it's for personality reasons. Something happens that causes the group to have to change its usual procedures (like meeting in a place other than the usual place because a member of the group didn't do the proper research, etc... ). HOWEVER, because the group has already been through the four stages once, it's very likely that they will reach the Gettin It Done stage quickly. Well, now you have been introduced to the four stages of group development, and you know what to expect out of each one. I hope that this information will help you in your current groups, and I especially hope it will help those who are going to develop covens or circles in the future.

Chat Host:

Very good information Lion. Thank you!

LIONFLOWER:

Special thanks to Fire Heart who helped me put the finishing touches on this class. Class was constructed after a five week leadership course that I took last month. Boudica: wonderful information lionflower, thank you

Any more questions? Most welcome, Chattie.

Elven Shadow:

When is the next class?

Chat Host:

class is held every Sunday at 9:00 pm eastern

LIONFLOWER:

thanks, Boudi. It's not the most exciting topic, but it's something that's neglected.

Xori:

Thank you Lion - wonderful :)

Artemis:

Lion is there a way one can screen perspective members ?

LIONFLOWER:

Thanks, Xori. :)

Burningwolf:

Lion, you are a wonderful teacher

Chat Host:

Logs for class will be posted on the Wicca BB on Tuesday

flowerface:

Thank you Lionflower. It was an interesting class.

LIONFLOWER:

Yes, Artemis, in fact that's recommended. In Wicca, it's usually the year-and-a-day period.

Boudica:

I will be working with a small group this week, it is most useful information...

Elven Shadow:

thx, Lion Sylverhare: Excellent, once again Lion

LIONFLOWER:

Thanks, Wolfie. You make me blush!

Chat Host:

Anyone interested in teaching a class can contact me at ASLC10F

calluna:

thank you

LIONFLOWER:

thanks, flowerface

TornadoChase:

excellent teacher Lion!!!

Chat Host:

Welcome!.