Red Deer:

OK FOLKS!!! IT'S 9:05 EDT... may I have your attention PLEASE?

Red Deer:

It's time to get started...

melilot:

{------------------loggin

Red Deer:

My illustrious nephew (of whom I'm sure his grandpa Nestor is equally proud) is here to talk with us tonight on the MOST SERIOUS subject of ICE CREAMIANITY

melilot:

ASOOP

Nestor:

ah ICE CREAMIANITY

Red Deer:

before we start, I'd like to go through the boring old exercise of reviewing class etiquette for everyone:

1) Please keep all BBs, MMs, MPs, and side-conversations in IM for the duration of class.

2) Please hold questions and comments until our facilitator opens the floor.

3) Should an exclusion be called, PLEASE cease talking to or about the excludee immediately (except in IM).

4) Would one or two who expect to attend the entire class please log for back-up?

thanks meli

5) With that, I pass the besom to TYPO DEMON...

TYP0 DEMON:

thank you Red

First all of let me point out that this class is meant to be humorous - this "religion" was the brain child of Merope , Voyager2000, and myself several years ago so with that lets begin

The Ice-Creamians were founded by Merope and Voyager2000 here on Prodigy about 2 years ago. Together with LostinDepth, BrokenMachine, Kildeer, Redish, and myself, we all realized that the true divinity in the universe was Ben & Jerry. One night while Merope was sitting at her kitchen table and eating Cherry Garcia, she had a revelation. The Scoop spoke to her and commanded her to record the holy texts of Ben & Jerry. Merope was overcome with awe and of course agreed to do as commanded by the scoop. Together with Voyager she put to paper for the first time the holy writs of the Ice-Creamians!

First we shall look at the Creamians book of Genesis as recorded by Merope, these words are direct from the holy Scoop. The Scoop looked upon the Freezer and saw that it needed defrosting... it called down to the holy man Scoopah with these instructions: "I have determined to make an end to the hideous build-up of Ice and debris in this, the cosmic freezer. therefore you shall build for me a cooler. A cooler of non-toxic recyclable plastic. the largest such cooler ever seen by mortals. It shall be big enough to hold the holy 31 flavors and into this freezer. Two by two you shall place the holy flavors. also you shall construct into this freezer a separate compartment for the holy toppings, and a third section for the scoop, bowl, and cone... the bottom of this most blessed receptacle shall be composed of heat resistant materials for I shall send upon the freezer a flood of hot fudge and all shall melt and be cleansed in its wake."

So Scoopah did as the Scoop commanded, building a cooler and carefully stocking it with each of all the flavors of the holy 31 and when it was all packed away and hermetically sealed the deluge began...For forty days and nights the fudge flowed down upon the freezer until the spilled onto the earth. The cooler floated on a sea of bubbling, oozing, chocolate. and thus was the cosmic freezer and lo even the surface of the earth cleansed and all was good! At the end of the 40 days the fudge receded and the Scoop sent forth a messenger, in the form of a great winged cone, that evening the messenger returned carrying with it a jar of maraschino cherries. the Scoop knew then that the great flood was at an end.. the holy 31 were returned to the cosmic freezer and now purified and cleansed.

Tthe Scoop blessed Scoopah saying "For you faith I will make unto you this promise: Never again shall I send the fudge in such quantities that it covers the entire land. As a sign of the covenant which I have established between me and all the flavors that are upon the earth I will give you this token as remembrance..." and the Scoop delivered unto Scoopah a large red and white metal can, and thus did Redi-Whip come into existence.

ok are there any questions thus far?

no questions?

Red Deer:

{--- hanging with you

TYP0 DEMON:

ok lets continue

Red Deer:

yup...

TYP0 DEMON:

after recording the book of genesis Merope went to the freezer and got a bowl of triple fudge ice cream and sat at her table and continued to write, her next revelation was the first book of Ben

Red Deer:

just how completely can fudge recede from the land?

TYP0 DEMON:

lots of licking Red

TYP0 DEMON:

just ask Meli {GGGG}

Red Deer:

rofl

melilot:

meli not talking {EG} too busy licking {EG}

TYP0 DEMON:

1.) It came to pass that one morning Ben didst wake upon following a dream in which it was given to him the sacred formula for Cherry Garcia.

2.) Jerry did come unto him and bring forth the wisdom of mass marketing and together they set upon taking over the world of Ice Cream

3.) the Scoop spoke to them saying "Ben, Jerry thou shall go forth and multiply profits around the globe all shall worship the scoop!!!!" and it was good :

At this point in history Voyager2000 arrived at Meorpe's house to bring her some extra Redi-Whip he had and he too was given divine inspiration. The Scoop spoke to him and commanded him to record the Creamians daily prayer, and he did so reverently.

"Oh Ben, Oh Jerry hear my prayer! lead me not into temptation from frozen sorbet and frozen yogurt! deliver me unto the holy trinity of Chocolate, Vanilla, and heavenly hash. With your love and guidance shall i dwell in the glory of the holy 31 and stray not from the redi whip ASCOOP!"

At this point id like to ask what is the significance of the Prayer to bond with the holy ones?

anyone wish to comment on the need to pray to the Scoop?

Red Deer:

ASCOOP!!!

without the SCOOP we couldn't serve our bowls?

we'd be as HEATHEN

TYP0 DEMON:

correct Red

WiseWitch:

We'd be as leather? Cool!

TYP0 DEMON:

anyone else?... Meli perhaps?

Red Deer:

{--- we'd have to eat ice cream with our fingers {yech}

TYP0 DEMON:

is that a bad thing Red? {G}

melilot:

leather and fudge {EG}

Red Deer:

I'd rather eat it with someone ELSE's fingers

TYP0 DEMON:

could lead to some rather sexual excitement don't ya think?

WiseWitch:

We'd have to lick ice cream off of each other's bodies....

Nestor:

Typo could you comment on the schism between the orthodox (Ben and Jerryites) and the heretical teaching of the Hagen Dassians?

TYP0 DEMON:

GOOD WW!

melilot:

belly button make good ice cream bowl

WiseWitch:

I'm more concerned with the Blasphemous FROZEN NO FAT YOGURT!

TYP0 DEMON:

ahh Nestor.. the main difference is that the Haagen Daazites prefer to keep it to them selves and not to share the holy Scoop with others

Nestor:

ah blashpmey ! not ASCOOPing with others

TYP0 DEMON:

much like the Templars and Rosicurcians holding the beliefs that not all are "ready" to receive divine knowledge

any other comments?

Red Deer:

Lately we've had an incursion of Hunter Farmsians...they CLAIM to worship the scoop, but I'm not so sure.

melilot:

is it a sin to mix ben and jerry with frozen yogurt

Red Deer:

Any one else run into these types?

TYP0 DEMON:

YES! Meli

TYP0 DEMON:

NO one may mix the divine with the fake

Nestor:

and the Welsh Farms Resistance Forces are holding the Ben & Jerryites at bay here in NJ

TYP0 DEMON:

to do so Meli is to risk eternal damnation without the holy Scoop

Red Deer:

so then artificial vanilla flavor is out? even in REAL Ice Cream?

WiseWitch:

Has anyone tried building an altar like this - toasted waffle, with French Vanilla, then sliced bananas, then Hot Caramel topping, then nuts and whipped cream?

WiseWitch:

YES. RD!

melilot:

NO NO NO NO NO i must have scoop

Red Deer:

YES WW

Great Worship

Elenya:

Thou shalt have no artificial flavourings before me

holy woman:

ww. sounds divine

melilot:

does home made count as good as ben and jerry

TYP0 DEMON:

Yes Meli as long as its pure

WiseWitch:

not mine, meli....

TYP0 DEMON:

all ice cream is holy to the scoop

ok lets contiunue

Now that Merope and Voyager had recorded some of the works, they called others who the Scoop had revealed to them as "Prophets" and Lostindepth, BrokenMachine, and TypoDemon

Nestor:

yes the ultimate act of devotion -- meli -= I am proud of you

melilot:

{blushes} awww grampy

TYP0 DEMON:

quickly arrived to carry out their part as instructed by the Scoop. Lost was given the task of recording the Creamians code of Conduct:

1.) thou shalt not suffer a fellow Creamian to eat or be forced to eat yogurt or and fake Ice Cream.

2.) thou shalt not hide the redi-whip for your own selfish use.

melilot:

how bad is it to hide the rediwhip

TYP0 DEMON:

very bad Meli

TYPO DEMON:

BrokenMachine was given the task of recording the holy Cream-Mandments!! and the Scoop entrusted him NOT to do 15 like Moses because if he dropped the dam* tablet so might Broken

1.) I am Ice Cream thou shalt have no dinner before me.

2.) Thou shalt not worship any other confection.

3.) Thou shalt not take the name of the Flavor of the Day in vain.

4.) thou shalt eat Ice Cream everyday with a double serving on Sunday.

5.) Honor thy Scoop and thy Cone

holy woman:

blessed be!

TYPO DEMON:

hold on a sec

Red Deer:

and another minute quickly passed...followed, silently, by another minute passing quickly

Elenya:

past

holy woman:

could have made it to the frig. by now

TYP0 DEMON:

my macros decided to stop working

Red Deer:

well, then... SCOOP 'EM

Nestor:

sabotage by the NO FAT FROZEN YOGURT forces

Red Deer:

while another minute, unnoticed by those anxiously awaiting more of the Liturgy of Ice Creamianity, passed quickly

melilot:

{-----------returning from fridge with bowl of virgin vanilla

WiseWitch:

There's virgin ANYTHING in Meli's house???????

TYP0 DEMON:

LOL WW

melilot:

hehehehehe

TYP0 DEMON:

6.) Thou shalt not expose the carton to direct sunlight.

7.) thou shalt not eat of frozen sorbet or frozen yogurt.

8 ) thou shalt not allow thy domicile to be void of me.

9.) thou shalt not serve frozen yogurt or sorbet pretending it to be Ice Cream.

10.) thou shalt not covet thy neighbors Haagen-Daaz.

WiseWitch:

Oh, yes I will, Typo....

TYP0 DEMON:

and to TypoDemon it was given the task of recording the Book of Scoopalations!!!

Red Deer:

ASCOOP!!!!!

TYP0 DEMON:

LOL

Paul00:

ASCOOP!!!

TYP0 DEMON:

1.) and the scoop opened the first seal and the moon turned to Vanilla, and fudge fell from the sky.

2.) and the Scoop opened the second seal and the seas turned to chocolate.

3.) and the Scoop opened the third seal and a trumpet sounded in heaven, marking the beginning of double coupon days at Safeway.

Paul00:

benjamin & jeremiah 0:00

TYP0 DEMON:

4.) and the Scoop opened the forth seal and issued forth Ben&Jerry, Carvel, Baskin Robbins, and the dreaded thigh killer Haagen-Daaz.

5.) and the Scoop opened the fifth seal and the dead began to rise from the grave and storm all local supermarkets laying waste to the frozen food section.

6.) and the Scoop opened the 6th seal and Ice Cream scoopers fell from the sky with plastic spoons and bowls.

7.) and the Scoop opened the final seal and there was rejoicing in heaven as the Scoop declared the earth worthy to receive the ultimate pleasure,

TRIPLE CHOCOLATE SWIRL!!!!!! FOR ALL!

ASCOOP!

Elenya:

ASCOOP!!

WiseWitch:

ASCOOP!!!!!

TYP0 DEMON:

at this point I'd like to open the floor to your views on how the Scoop has touched your lives, any comments?

holy woman:

ascoop

Red Deer:

ASCOOP! ASCOOP!! ASCOOP!!!

TYP0 DEMON:

anyone have comments?

melilot:

lots of them but do you want only the ice cream ones {EG}

TYP0 DEMON:

yes meli :}

Paul00:

chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream is the truth

Red Deer:

that was great AND fun Typo

TYP0 DEMON:

{-- blushes

melilot:

i wuv da class typo

Red Deer:

uh oh, now well have to call you Typo RED Demon

Elenya:

{{{{{{{{{Typo}}}}}}}} thanks for bringing back some wonderful memories

TYP0 DEMON:

my pleasure Aunt El

melilot:

{--- running to kitchen for bowl of frozen yogurt

TYP0 DEMON:

ACK!

melilot:

{EG}

Nestor:

Infidel!!!!

PAniteowl:

Hmmmm ... I have this strange yearning for Heavenly Hash???

TYP0 DEMON:

Meli.. have you learned nothing!?????

TYP0 DEMON:

LOL PA

melilot:

hehehehe typo it's really vanilla {EG}

PAniteowl:

LOL Type ... Your a peach!! {G}

melilot:

i eat vanilla to represent the purity of my soul {EG}

Elenya:

There's always an upstart in every bunch

keukA LiliTh:

sure meli!!

Red Deer:

if not of your body, eh meli?

melilot:

i eat double fudge to represent the purity of my body

keukA LiliTh:

LOL

TYP0 DEMON:

LOL Meli ya should eat rocky road for your body

Elenya:

LOL Typo

Red Deer:

rofl

melilot:

ROFLMAO typo

PAniteowl:

hmmmm .. do they still make Tutti Fruitie??? {G}

Red Deer:

all rootie

melilot:

i thought that was for my personality typo {EG}

TYP0 DEMON:

LOLOL

Nestor:

only in San Francisco PA

PAniteowl:

ROFL!!!!

Paul00:

lol

PAniteowl:

hmmm .. was that a buche Noel Log with French Vanilla Ice Cream Mel {G}?

Red Deer:

works for me meli

Red Deer:

lets have a ROUND of applause for Typo folks

Red Deer:

{--- clap clap clappo

x Magyar x:

clap clap clap clap

PAniteowl:

ROUND ROUND ROUND!!!!

TYP0 DEMON:

{-- blushes and bows to all

Nestor:

{APPLAUSE!!}

Elenya:

:::applause:::

melilot:

{--------------gives typo da clap he deserves {EG}

keukA LiliTh:

the CLAP!!

PAniteowl:

ohhhhh .. I just knew that was commin!! {G}

TYP0 DEMON:

now next week my class will be on a real serious note... im going to cover Sex Magick

Elenya:

Meli will be first in line, with RD of course {vbeg}

melilot:

da clap lili da clap

melilot:

me and him will be fighting at the door to get in

keukA LiliTh:

ok, DA CLAP

TYP0 DEMON:

LOL

TYP0 DEMON:

{-- passes a triple shot of anti-biotics to Meli

melilot:

hehehehehehehehe {EG}

TYP0 DEMON:

well folks must be going for now.. MP and thanks for coming

holy woman:

mp

TYP0 DEMON:

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{ {{{{ Roomies }}}} }{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

Elenya:

{{{{{{{Typo}}}}}}}} give love to Carielle please

melilot:

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{typo}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

PAniteowl:

{{{{{ TYPO }}}}}}

Red Deer: {{{{{Typo}}}}}