Sam's Draft Workshops

Draft Workshop Form - Nov. 4, 2004

1. My name is Mandy and I read Sam's paper.

2. Does the paper fulfill the demands of the assignment? Does it have
all of the elements we talked about in our class discussion? If not,
list what the author needs to do to fulfill the assignment.

You do a great job arguing your points, but explain the work you are
going to do. Would they really go for you thinking of a weekly topic
and them doing all of the work for your topic. Explain why they would
want to write about the restricted topics you would choose. Also, as a
picky detail, should you sign your letter??

3. The assignment asks you to convey your enthusiasm and to analyze
some recent posts to the blog. Assuming the author has done both of
these things, what kind of organizational scheme has s/he implemented
to integrate these two aspects of the paper? Does it make sense? Is it
effective rhetorically?

You did a great job analyzing the posts and applying them to your
paper. For organization you talk about how you will improve their blog
by your posts and then how important economics relates to their blog.
Your paper flowed nicely. Except for the second paragraph, think about
combining that with the first. Possibly?!?!

4. Is the author’s enthusiasm for the subject convincing? Does it
really sound like s/he is passionate about studying this discipline?
Is s/he over-enthusiastic? Suggest ways in which the author could
better pinpoint the level of enthusiasm you feel is appropriate for
the assignment.

You do seem very entusiastic but to the right degree. I mean how many
people are that interested is economics if they do not understand it
that well? Your willingness want to learn more shows your passion for
economics and will be admired by the bloggers.


Draft Workshop Form – November 9, 2004

1. My name is Mandy and I read Sam’s paper.

2. Does the paper fulfill the demands of the assignment? Does it have all of the elements we talked about in our class discussion? If not, list what the author needs to do to fulfill the assignment.

This paper fulfills all of the demands! Just expand more on how you coming up with ideas for them to post on is valuable to them. Are you going to simply say ok this week is Fastfood week and then they take it from there?? Or are you going to make a decent post with your analysis of fastfood and allow them to expand on that?

3. The assignment asks you to convey your enthusiasm and to analyze some recent posts to the blog. Assuming the author has done both of these things, what kind of organizational scheme has s/he implemented to integrate these two aspects of the paper? Does it make sense? Is it effective rhetorically?

You do seem very entusiastic but to the right degree. I mean how many people are that interested is economics if they do not understand it that well? Your willingness want to learn more shows your passion for economics and will be admired by the bloggers.You did a great job analyzing the posts and applying them to your paper. For organization you talk about how you will improve their blog by your posts and then how important economics relates to their blog. Your paper flowed nicely. Except for the second paragraph, think about combining that with the first. Possibly?!?!

4. We talked a lot in our class discussion on Thursday about tone. Briefly describe the tone the author has adopted for the letter. Is this tone appropriate? Would a slight (or drastic, for that matter) shift in tone benefit the paper?

The tone seems to work well. I do not know how I would tell you to change it. You are being very polite and asking for permission while explaining your case.


Draft Workshop Form - Nov. 23, 2004

1.My name is Mandy Lloyd and I read Sam's paper.

2. Does the paper explain how blogs will help or hinder their chosen
field? Explain why and why not?

You say it is helpful because it delivers information to a large
audience in a short amount of time. When you mention the information
is up to date, explain why this is important in economics. If
possible, give an example of how blogs are a good supplement to a your
professors published work.

3. How does the author use the article and professor from Feeder 1 and
2 in their unit project? Do they use example from posts, citations
from the article, etc?

You do a great job explaining the marginal revolution and how it
helped with a specific event, the Presidential Election.

4. Does the author use outside research to supplement their sources
from Feeder 1 and 2? What types of sources did they use?

When discussing blogging as a phenomenon you do a good job of bringing
in the example of the Red Sox blog. Maybe you should find an example
of another type of blog too!

5. Does the author use their experience with blogs in developing their
argument? Do they talk about how using blogs in our class helped or
hindered our work in class?

Wow, great assessment!! I like how mentioned that with blog draft
workshops you do not have to fumble through papers!

Blogging in English 11

At first, I thought that the added Blog assignments were merely extra busywork. However, looking back on them I have discovered how useful they really were. Blogging in English 11 was an excellent way to force me to put the added thought and effort into the concepts we discussed in class. For example, after the class lecture on Ethos, Pathos, and Logos, I had a basic grasp on this idea. However, after taking the time to sit down with my paper and really think about what parts of my paper fell into each category, and which part needed to be more plentiful in my paper than the others, I felt that I had a much better conceptual understanding. Blogging also proved to be a great way to share my past experiences and express my opinions in writing. I really enjoyed sharing my personal experiences like the post analyzing my public speaking background. I believe that the self-evaluations after each unit project were probably the most important posts that I made. These two posts were a great way to analyze certain aspects in my portfolio, but more importantly, made me think about specific ways to improve my next portfolio. I also liked the freedom to be able to do draft workshops on the blogs. Personally, I would rather do them in class, however, if there is not enough time it is very convenient to be able to post them on the blogs.

Revising my paragraph

My New Paragraph
This academic phenomenon is not limited for the use of professors. Students are finding this process a great way to express their own opinions and learn from their peers. Professors who require their students to blog are allowing their students to have a great academic discussion that allows all students to voice their opinions. It is not possible for the louder more overbearing students to overshadow the quieter students which may occur in a discussion based in a classroom setting. Blogs compliment a student's classroom education.

My Original Paragraph
Students can also use blogs to compliment their classroom education. Professors who require their students to blog are allowing their students to have a great academic discussion that allows all students to voice their opinions. It is not possible for the louder more overbearing students to overshadow the quieter students which may occur in a discussion based in a classroom setting.

The Field of Linguistics

Coming into the Unit 3 Project, I did not realize how much controversy was still involved in this field. There is an ongoing debate on how language was originally formulated and what the mother language was. The hypothetical proto-indo-european language is believe to be the mother language. Many linguists still debate how the languages we have today were developed. Language is always changing. Linguists also try to predict in what ways languages will change in the future. On a day to day basis some linguists can do a variety of things. Linguists can teach classes an universities, conduct research experiments, or write papers and books.

Unit 3 Field of Study

For my Unit 3 Portfolio, I chose a blog post from a Linguistics professor. One of his posts deals specifically with child language acquisition. While I want to major in Communications with a concentration in Speech and Hearing, linguistics is obviously related. I want to be a Speech Pathologist who deals specifically with children. I was sparked by this field when my neighbor's children had to visit a speech pathologist. I was amazed at the progress they made. I knew that I wanted to work with children, so this seemed that Speech Pathology would be a great career to pursue. As a High School Senior, I chose Speech Pathology as my Senior Project. During this project, I job shadowed a Speech Pathologist who works at daycares and elementary schools. After spending the day with her, I knew this was the perfect job for me. I would get to spend several hours a day playing "language games" with children. This job is challenging due to the different language barriers each child faces. It also is very rewarding. As a Speech Pathologist you can watch the child's progress and know that you are the main contributing factor for them overcoming their impediment.

Unit 2 Portfolio Review

I believe this portfolio is stronger than my first portfolio. In my Unit One portfolio I had problems with filling my paper with more analysis and less summary. In unit 2, the topics seemed easier for me to write the papers more analytically. I am not sure if the reason for this is just the different prompts or the fact that I am more comfortable with the writing style. I think I did a good job eliminating the summary from my papers, but I hope that I have enough analysis. I believe as a class we have a better understanding of what we are suppose to be writing. We are also getting better at the draft workshops. Since my group knows each other much better than we did at the beginning of the year, it is easier for me to critique their draft workshops. I have a better understanding of where their papers should be and I know them well enough to know that my suggestions will not offend them.

Draft Workshops

For Draft Workshops, I feel conducting these in class are the most beneficial. Yes, some valuable class time is lost, however, I feel that discussing the paper with the writer is more important in the long run. What I scribble down on a draft workshop form is important information that could use a verbal explanation to go with it. This way the writer does not misunderstand my comments and I can make sure to fully describe why I feel this change to the paper should be made. Also, when we leave the class we have a completed draft workshop in our hands. We can immediately go and make the necessary additions to our paper and we do not have to wait for a group member to find time to work this added assignment into their busy schedule.

My Partners Reaction to my Speech

I feel that the content of my speech was received fairly well. I would like to go back and add a few more facts everywhere in my speech to make it a little more concrete. However, I believe that I might be able to play with the syntax and make the information I have, make my point seem more validated. I am not sure how I will do this. The main point I need to work on is my syntax. I need to make sure I can smoothly make it through my speech. Everytime I say my speech, I word my thoughts differently. This makes my speech slow and hard to get through. I also need to make sure that I am confident enough in what I am saying and the organization of my speech so I can avoid the dreaded fillers such as "like" and "um".

Ethos, Pathos, and Logos

In my speech, I am discussing why the US should not drill for oil in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. In this argument, Pathos is the most obvious argumentative technique. The emotional appeal of all of the animals who would be harmed by the drilling will more than likely move the audience to feel bad for these creatures. Using the Logos aspect such as facts and statistics will be useful. These stats include the large number of animals that will be harmed and the small amount of oil that will be obtained in the long run. I can also use cause and effect to show how reducing the population of one species in Alaska could negatively affect our ecosystem worldwide. As far as ethos is concerned, I need to make sure that I establish a common ground with the audience. I need to make sure I use language that allows my audience to agree with my opinion and not question it. I also need to touch on why some people believe that drilling is more important for our economy and mention why I do not feel this way.

Public Speaking

As far as public speaking is concerned, I am not the best. I was given that natural loud, authoritative voice. My soft voice and my nervous habits can make my public speaking disastrous. I have not had a lot of experience with public speaking. I have had a few banquets and other occasions where I have had to say a few lines in front of a large audience. In addition to that, my High School Senior Project required an 8-10 minute speech in front of a panel of 3 judges. This experience allowed my nerves to kick in. My hands were shaking and my voice trembled as I stuttered through my speech. Being a dancer, I do not mind being in front of a large audience, my only fear is speaking in front of them. I have difficulties speaking in front of small groups too if they are watching my every move and judging me.

Self Evaluation of Unit 1 portfolio

I feel that my Unit 1 Portfolio was decent. I put a lot of work into it. The only thing that I am unsure of, is how well I revised my drafts. While I appreciate all of the ideas that I received from my group, some of the suggestions I did not exactly agree with. Even when I went to the writing center, some of the advice that was given to me, did not seem useful to my cause. While I am thankful for all of the advise, in my opinion, certain aspects of my paper were stronger the way I originally wrote them. With this in mind, I do not know if I was as helpful as I could have been while I was doing draft workshops on the other papers in my group. I am afraid that my suggestions will lessen the outcome of their papers. I understand that the input of others is only suggestions, however, I do not want to point anybody in the wrong direction.

In Unit 1, my thesis statements provided me the most trouble. I had a lot of trouble writing them. For the Unit 2 Portfolio, I hope that I can learn to easily write strong thesis statements.