Recipes
(Or, yeah, I have my mellow days.)

Wow, I must be getting on in years. The formerly flaming section of my website has now become "Rants and Recipes," sort of an angry Martha Stewart. Though if any of the hollywood gossip is true, Martha Stewart is already kinda pissed off. I guess I'm a mouthier Martha Stewart.

Except, well, I'm not on TV and I never entertain more than, oh, 5 or so. And, well, sometimes stuff doesn't turn out so well. (I'm still really sorry for making you eat those pumpkin pancakes, sweetie.) Though I suppose Martha has a test kitchen for that...

But anyway... here's the things that made it out of my test kitchen. I take no responsibility for anything that you think sucks, or for anything that explodes when you cook it. cooking times and measurements are approximate, since I don't really use measuring cups and spoons when I'm making stuff up.

Coconut Battered Shrimp/Chicken/Tofu with Hot Marmalade Dip
January 2001
A friend and I made this for a New Year's Eve party, modelling the dish on a shrimp variation we'd found at a local steakhouse. The dip was a random brainchild.


INGREDIENTS:
all-purpose flour
ginger (optional)
milk
eggs, beaten
flaked dried coconut (sweetened)
medium to large shrimp, peeled and deveined OR
chicken, cut into nugget-sized chunks and marinated in teriyaki sauce OR
firm to semi-firm tofu, cut into bite sized chunks and, if desired, marinated in teriyaki
vegatable oil (for frying)
 
[dip]
1/2 c. orange marmalade
2 T. lemon juice
1 t. crushed red pepper flakes
blend all in small saucepan over low heat, stirring frequently. allow to simmer about an hour, adding more juice or water if the mixture gets too thick. it's best if you let it set for a bit at room temperature, and then store it overnight before serving. you can serve it cold or warm it up a bit, either way tastes fine.
 
DIRECTIONS:
  1. make a basic batter (tempura thickness or lighter, depending on your preference) with the flour, ginger, milk and eggs. add a small portion of the coconut to the batter, for sweetness and texture.
  2. blend 1 t. flour per every 1 cup coconut in a flat dish.
  3. heat oil for frying in a wok or havey pan, deep fryer, etc.
  4. dip shrimp/chicken/tofu in batter, then roll in coconut/flour mix until well coated. fry until golden, and drain on paper towels. serve immediately with spicy marmalade.

Quick Chicken Noodle Soup
January 2001
great for when you're feeling crummy or it's cold outside, or when you just miss the smell of a homey kitchen.


INGREDIENTS:
4-5 cups chicken stock (or bouillion, if that's all you have)
2 boneless chicken breasts + 1 tablespoon oil (veggie or olive) OR
4-5 thighs, drumsticks, wings or breasts of chicken
2 bay leaves
thyme, majoram
chopped onion (2T fresh, sauteed till soft or 1 t dried)
minced garlic
1 c. wide egg noodles
baby carrots, celery sticks
salt, pepper (to taste)
 
DIRECTIONS:
  1. Bring bouillion, chicken, spices and onion and garlic to a good simmer. Cook until chicken falls apart easily; particularly lean cuts of meat will require a little more oil. (If the chicken is not boneless, remove the meat, let it cool, then debone it and add it back to the pot.)
  2. add carrot and noodles, plus about a cup of water. cover and simmer another 30 to 45 minutes, or until noodles are tender.

VARIATIONS:

 

Garlic-Parmesean Red-Skinned Mashed Potatoes
December 2000
goes great with the teriyaki pork, below, or with any number of chicken or beef dishes.


INGREDIENTS:
4-5 medium-sized red-skinned potatoes, washed and cut into roughly 2" chunks
2-3 cloves garlic
1/4-1/2 cup grated/shredded parmesean cheese
4T salted butter
2 T half and half, milk, stock, or cream
2 teaspoons salt, plus or minus to taste
pepper, to taste
 
DIRECTIONS:
  1. boil enough water to cover completely the potatoes. add 1&1/2 teaspoons salt to the water and bring to a rolling boil.
  2. drop potatoes and peeled garlic cloves into boiling water and return to full boil for approximately 10-15 minutes, until potatoes are fork-tender.
  3. while potatoes are boiling, place cheese, butter (cut it up to it will melt more quickly), half and half (or other liquid), plus salt and pepper in a large bowl.
  4. remove potatoes and garlic from boiling water with a slotted spoon, draining well and dropping them into the bowl with the butter and other ingrediants.
  5. mash as desired, with a fork, potato ricer, or hand-mixer. some like 'em chunky, others like 'em smooth. adjust liquids accordingly, salt and pepper to taste.

VARIATIONS:

Teriyaki Pork Steaks
December 2000
I like Teriyaki, and my s.o. likes pork. Cinnamon and clove are spices that somehow make me think of comfortable, warm things. The sauce, if made properly, is a clear, dark brown and really very pretty. Great with mashed potatoes and a spinach or garden salad. (Good romantic dinner. ;))


INGREDIENTS:
1/2-1 tablespoon olive oil
2 boneless pork chops, thick-cut if desired. trimmed but not completely lean will taste best.
1/2-1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground clove OR 1 teaspoon whole cloves
4 cloves fresh garlic, peeled and split lengthwise
[OPTIONAL: 1 teaspoon powdered ginger OR 1/4 teaspoon fresh grated]
salt to taste
1&1/2-2 cups teriyaki sauce, homemade (mine was) or pre-prepared
1/2-1 tablespoon water
 
DIRECTIONS:
PREP TIME: 15 minutes (1 day ahead), 15 minutes + up to an hour cooking time
    ONE DAY AHEAD:
  1. take thawed or mostly thawed chops and rub them with 2 cloves garlic. powder evenly with half of the cinnamon, half the clove and, if desired, half the ginger. salt lightly. place chops in a plastic container with a tight fitting lid. you can mince the rubbed-out garlic cloves and toss them on top, if you're fond of garlic.
  2. in a separate bowl, mix teriyaki sauce and the remaining spices, plus the two cloves of garlic that didn't touch the raw meat, chopped finely. reserve about 1/2 cup of this sauce in another plastic container in the fridge.
  3. pour the remaining sauce over the chops, making sure to turn so all edges are coated. allow this to marinate about 24 hours, longer is okay as long as the meat is fresh. occasionally shake the container to blend all the flavors.
    THE NEXT DAY:
  4. preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
  5. heat the olive oil in a heavy skillet
  6. sear the chops in the olive oil. the teriyaki sauce will liquify and boil down to sugar if you're not careful, so once the edges have started to brown, you can add water in small dribbles to the pan, to keep the sauce to a workable consistancy. turn the steaks frequently -- your goal is a crisp outer shell, glazed with the thickened sauce created by the teriyaki, water, and heated fats in the oil and the pork drippings.
  7. while the steaks are browning, prepare a baking dish only slightly larger than the combined surface area of the steaks. you may wish to line the pan with foil to ease in cleaning (baked on teriyaki isn't a pleasant thing.). lightly spray the foil with olive oil, if you wish.
  8. remove the browned steaks from the heat and place them in the baking dish. pour the juices from the pan and the reserved teriyaki sauce (not the sauce the meat was soaking in though -- blech!) on top.
  9. bake at 350 degrees F for approximately 45 minutes (for ~1&1/2 inch thick steaks, adjust accordingly or use a meat thermometer.).
  10. serve the steaks immediately. i've served these whole and sliced on the diagonal, either way they're great drizzled with the thick sauce from the baking pan and thinly sliced green onions.



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