Draft Workshop November 9th

Draft Workshop Form – November 9, 2004


1. My name is _Tom Kolarczyk_ and I read _Katherine Johnston_’s paper.

2. Does the paper fulfill the demands of the assignment? Does it have all of the elements we talked about in our class discussion? If not, list what the author needs to do to fulfill the assignment.

Katherine’s paper fulfills the demands of the assignment, but the extent to which she accomplishes these demands can be improved. She makes effective use of her proposal, stating that she should post to the blog because she has a similar outlook on physics, and could add a new perspective from a woman’s standpoint. Katherine does make effective use of explaining her qualifications though. She uses this along with enthusiasm throughout most of her paper. What I think feel she needs to improve most on is the analysis of a post. She needs to include at least some analysis about physics, because she only describes a post based on its sarcasm and how the blog is creative.


3. The assignment asks you to convey your enthusiasm and to analyze some recent posts to the blog. Assuming the author has done both of these things, what kind of organizational scheme has s/he implemented to integrate these two aspects of the paper? Does it make sense? Is it effective rhetorically?

The organizational scheme that is used in this paper is the analysis of a post book-ended by an explanation of her qualifications. Her enthusiasm is persistent throughout. I do not think it is effective, because it does not flow with her thesis statement. She does not propose in her thesis statement that she should be allowed to post on this blog because she is qualified or has enthusiasm, or has an understanding of what is being discussed by the professor on the blog. I am unsure of how rhetorically effective this is (sorry).


4. We talked a lot in our class discussion on Thursday about tone. Briefly describe the tone the author has adopted for the letter. Is this tone appropriate? Would a slight (or drastic, for that matter) shift in tone benefit the paper?

Katherine’s tone in this paper is confident and relax. She even adds a bit of humor into her paper by saying, “come on, who doesn’t want to hear…” I think this tone is appropriate based on her description of the professor, who seems satirical and sarcastic. I think if her tone were to switch to a confident, more demanding tone, I am not sure it would benefit, because I do not know if the professor would be receptive to it. I do feel though that in some part of her paper that she needs to be stern, to show confidence and professionalism as to why she is interested in physics.