Draft WS 1: Content, Introduction, and Conclusion
Humanities: Reflective Analysis

Introduction & Thesis

1.  How can the author revise his/her introduction to make it more effective and interesting?  (Mark the draft)

2.  Keep in mind that the student model (Sample B) contains a reference to the artist, the work's title (italicized or underlined), the date, the medium (oil, watercolor. . . ), and a little context (or overall description).  Help the author interweave this basic information into the introduction. (Mark the draft)

3.  What's the paper's thesis?  Suggest ways in which the author can make it more specific or argumentative.  (Mark the draft)

4.  Again, notice how the student model (Sample B) links each technique with an interpretative (debatable,  argumentative, or "a not everyone will agree with") statement.  Furthermore, the author has arranged these in the order in which they unfold in the paper.

Suggest revisions in your author's paper.  If the author has written a vague thesis, you may have to read the individual paragraphs to determine what s/he intends to argue. (Mark the draft)

Content

1.  Each body paragraph should try to focus on a specific aspect or technique that supports a part of the thesis and larger argument.  For example, in the "light" paragraph in Sample B, the author identifies a technique (the artist's use of light / dark), s/he then describes how it works, and then links it to a broader, interpretative statement.  Help your peer do the same.  Read each paragraph carefully and mark the sentences as follows:

T= technique
D= description
I= interpretation

2.  When you've finished identifying the information in the paragraph with these labels, suggest what the author can do to add evidence, description and interpretation by considering.  It may help to consider the following:

Does the paragraph need more evidence? (Mark the draft)

Does the author address HOW the artist uses X technique? (Mark the draft)

Does the author identify an aspect of being human / life/ broader issue we should think about? (Mark the draft)

So what? (Mark the draft)

Conclusion

The conclusion should restate the thesis and then show suggest implications or important issues the viewer/reader should consider about the work and life in general.  (See Student Sample A).  What might the author discuss to write a more insightful and thought provoking conclusion?  (Mark the draft)

General Impressions

Remember that the art critic should help the viewer see the work in a new way.  Has the author enlightened you?  Why and why not? How can s/he improve the paper as a whole and make it more persuasive?  (Respond to this question at the end of the draft.)