Does Hollywood portray reality? A connection between the two definitely exists in the coming of age movie, Now and Then. This movie directed by Lesli Linka Glatter, four women look back on the problems they faced during one summer as adolescents. Set in the small, secluded town of Shelby, Indiana, Glatter particularly focuses on two young girls who have experienced loss. Samantha, the main character, deals with her parent’s divorce, while her friend Roberta deals with her mother’s tragic death. These losses deeply affect both girls, causing them to experience several problems as they grieve. The girls realistically illustrate several studied psychological theories about how adolescents handle divorce and death.

Scientists have conducted many studies about adolescents who have lost a parent, especially through divorce. For example, Karl Zinsmeister (1997) reports that shortly after their parent’s divorce, teenagers demonstrate dependence, disobedience, fear of abandonment, and loss of love (p.30). They also show withdrawal, inattention, and unhappiness. Samantha demonstrates most of these findings accurately after her parent’s divorce (p.31). When her father leaves, she disobeys her mother and even runs away from home. Also, she often makes bitter remarks about life such as, "I thought it was normal for things to be shitty." However, she does not experience fear or loss of love, because she leans on her loving friends.

Also, when divorce occurs during adolescence, teenagers have trouble establishing their sexual identity (Bolger et al., 1995; Collins, 1987; Zinsmeister, 1997). They cannot develop intimate relationships (Bolgar et al., 1995), choose inadequate husbands, and have unsuccessful marriages (Zinsmeister, 1997). They often blame themselves for their parent’s divorce and form resentment towards them (Collins, 1987). Consequently, Samantha resents her mother because she brings home a new man and she still hopes that her parents will get back together. Samantha also has problems dealing with her mother’s behavior after the divorce, and she confronts her about the sexy new way she dresses. Later in life, she has trouble establishing healthy relationships with men. She states that she "runs from relationships" and "If you can’t fall in love, you can’t get hurt." Samantha always leaves before things get too intense, mimicking her father’s behavior.

To deal with grief caused by separation from a loved one, children should participate in family counseling which will help prevent them from developing psychological disorders later on (Black, 1998). Although Samantha never undergoes counseling, she eventually deals with her parent’s divorce by talking to others. She finally admits to her best friend, Teeny, about her parents, and cries, a very important step in recovery. In this scene, Teeny gives Samantha a friendship bracelet. Samantha replies that this action "filled her heart with warmth and love." Samantha admits to the rest of her friends that her parents have divorced, which also aids her recovery because she uses them as a support system. They comfort her and try to help alleviate the pain that she feels.

Samantha also establishes an important friendship with Crazy Pete, which plays an instrumental role in her recovery. Children feared Pete because of his differences, such only coming out at night and avoiding human contact, but Samantha, who also felt different, related to him. Pete gave her some good advice telling her, "You have to take the good with the bad in life." Samantha, inspired by Pete’s words, eventually realizes that she needs to move on and take a chance with relationships. Although no research discussed children of divorce finding someone to relate to, this seemed very important in Samantha’s recovery.

Another type of grief that children experience stems from the death of a parent. One of the most detrimental experiences a child can have, death of a parent can leave lasting psychological scars. Bereaved children have a higher chance of developing psychiatric disorders such as depression and anxiety (Black, 1998). Research performed by Raveis and his colleagues (1998) showed that girls and younger children have more adjustment problems than boys and older children (p.28). Those children who lose their mother tend to receive less quantity and quality of care and may have more aggressive behaviors (p.29). Roberta demonstrates this type of aggression during the scene where a boy taunts her about her softball abilities. She attacks the boy and beats him up which directly results from the absence of a mother figure. Throughout the movie, Roberta hits her friends when she disagrees or has anger toward them. The anger she holds inside from loosing her mother comes out through these actions.

In another study, Black (1996) reports that parents often mistakenly think that when a family member has died, they should shelter their children from what really happened to protect them (p.4926). This, however, causes more harm than good because young children understand more about death than their parents think (Black, 1996). They also seem to have an idea about heaven and hell. Roberta’s father mistakenly tells her that angels had swooped her mother off the earth, giving her a child-like viewpoint of her death. This whimsical belief shatters when she finds a newspaper article that gives the details of her mother’s violent death in a car accident. The news upsets her greatly, causing her to slam the book and her voice to tremble, illustrating her anger and distress. This scene demonstrates that sheltering a child from death may make things easier on the child in the short run, but eventually they will discover the truth.

In addition to the fact that a parent has died, the cause of death directly affects the severity of the child’s psychological problems. Children experience the most difficulty when their parent dies suddenly or violently (Thompson et al., 1998). When a parent dies directly by human action, such as homicide, their child develops more severe, longer lasting problems than children whose parents died of natural causes. These children also demonstrate greater externalized distress, or acting out of emotions (Thompson et al., 1998). Because Roberta’s mother died in a car crash, which directly relates to human actions, she externalizes her distress. In the attic scene, Roberta finds out about the tragic deaths of Crazy Pete’s family, which she connects with her mother’s death. She says, "Why did they have to die" and begins to violently throw things across the room (to view this scene, click here).

Also, because parents serve as role models for adolescents to pattern their behaviors after especially the attitudes and behaviors of each sex. Teenagers deprived of a parental role model during sexual maturation may encounter feelings of abandonment, and will have suspicions of intimate and emotional relationships (Collins,1987). At the age of four, Roberta experienced the death of her mother causing her to experience a sexual identity crisis. She acts like a tomboy because her father and three brothers raised her. She dresses like a boy and even tapes her boobs down.

To recover from the death of their parent, a child must do several things. First, they should attend the funeral preferably with someone not affected by the death, then the child must accept the death in order to move past it (Black,1998)). Also, the child should seek family counseling to help prevent psychological disorders from developing later on in life. Seeking counseling dramatically reduces the psychological effects of bereavement (Black, 1998). Because Roberta does not seek counseling, she recovers slowly and does not fully recover until adulthood.

Communication between the child and the surviving parent also plays an important role in recovery. Discouragement of communication may lead to denial, delinquency, and grief in the child (Raveis, et al., 1999). Roberta does not have any communication with her father, which makes healing more difficult. Instead she relies on her friends, using them as a support system. (to view this scene, click here)

Now and Then does a fairly accurate job of portraying reality through the characters of Samantha and Roberta. These girls, who both deal with the loss of a parent, demonstrate many of the psychological problems that children actually experience. However, unlike the children in the studies about dealing with loss, the girls never go to counseling. Instead they rely on their friends and eventually heal with their support. Perhaps this suggests that finding true friends can help one overcome any of the trials and tribulations of life. Or maybe that only happens in Hollywood.

Black, D. (1998) Bereavement in childhood. British Medical Journal, 316(3), 931-933.

Black explains how children deal with bereavement at different ages, and how to help them. Infants and toddlers basically have no idea about death, but they can realize the absence of a parent. They respond with difficulty eating, bedwetting, constipation, and difficulty sleeping. By age 5, most children understand the permanence of death, and by ages 5 to 11, they realize the physical changes death brings. Black reports that children who suffer a loss have higher levels of emotional stress than those who have not for up to two years, and they may entertain ideas of suicide. In the long run, bereaved children have a higher chance of developing psychiatric disorders such as depression and anxiety. Those who lose their mother will tend to receive less quantity and quality of care and may become more aggressive. To help bereaved children cope, they should attend the funeral preferably with someone not affected by the death. Also, involving them in family counseling will help prevent them from later developing psychological disorders.

Black reports that parents often mistakenly think that when a family member has died, they should shelter their children from what really happened to protect them. This, however, causes more harm than good. Studies have shown that young children understand more about death than parents think. They also seem to have an idea about heaven and hell. Clinical depression may result from childhood bereavement, so making sure that the child speaks to someone about the experience and gets professional help is very important. Also, parents who have suffered bereavement should seek help. By seeking counseling, the psychological effects of bereavement will dramatically be reduced.

Bolgar, Zwieg-Frank and Paris present the findings of a study done to determine divorce’s long-term effects on interpersonal problems and the experiences associated with these problems. The study compared male and female university students from divorced and non-divorced families. Results showed that parental divorce impacts the lives of children over a long period of time into young adulthood. Young adults who have come from divorced homes experience more difficulty in developing intimate relationships, as well as difficulty in relationships with their mothers and friends. Divorce directly impacts outlook on life, resulting in decreased belief in the goodness of people and the world, less trust in their parents and the dependability of their spouses, and less optimism about future intimate relationships. If the mother remarried, increased behavior problems in girls, and a decrease in behavior problems among boys resulted. The level of conflict between parents prior to and after the divorce constitutes the main factor affecting interpersonal problems in young adults from broken homes.

Collins states that, contrary to popular belief, teenagers have more difficulty coping with divorce than younger children. The divorce’s impact on the lives of adolescents, combined with the stress and difficulties already present in dealing with growing up and developing, may seriously injure teenagers both psychically and socially. Due to this, parents should not wait until their children develop into teenagers to divorce. Parents serve as role models for adolescents to pattern their behaviors after, especially attitudes and behaviors of each sex. Teenagers deprived of a parental role model during sexual maturation may encounter feelings of abandonment, and will have suspicions of intimate and emotional relationships. Teenagers may also take the blame and responsibility for the divorce upon themselves, causing problems and stress. Additional anxiety may occur if teenagers from divorced families find themselves suddenly forced to take the role of the absent parent, giving emotional support to younger siblings and the remaining parent. When faced with divorce, teenagers often act out their emotions of rejection, causing very serious consequences. Adolescents have access to dangerous avenues of response, such as drugs, alcohol and suicide, that younger children do not have.

Corliss reports in this article that many new films have come out during the holiday season that focus on women, including "Now and Then." The movie, written by Marlene King and directed by Lesli Linka Glatter, exhibits the life of three middle-aged women who return home to witness the birth of their fourth friend’s first child. They sit around and think back on the summer they spent together when they were twelve. Corliss thinks that this movie advocates antisocial behavior, and contains language and attitudes, which are inappropriate for young girls. He also comments on the great performance by child actor Christina Ricci who plays the young Roberta. Corliss calls "Now and Then" a film that wants to be the girl version of "Stand By Me."

Fretts states that the movie "Now and Then" starring Demi Moore, Gaby Hoffmann, Melanie Griffith, and Rosie O’Donnell parallels the movie "Stand By Me". Fretts finds "Now and Then" completely unoriginal and describes the movie as the typical, formulaic, coming of age movie. The movie has predictable characters with predictable traits. The characters consist of the sullen one, the glamorous one, the good one, and the tomboy. The movie’s greatest scenes take place in the "then" setting with a stellar performance by Christina Ricci, who Fretts believes surpasses even Jodie Foster as a child actress.

Now and then. (1995, August 25). Entertainment Weekly, p. 42.

The author reports that even though "Now and Then", a movie about the coming of age of four young girls, marketed the performances of Demi Moore, Rita Wilson, Melanie Griffith, and Rosie O’Donnel, they were only present at the set for the last week of the movie shoot. This occurred because the movie concentrates much more on the "Then" portion. The movie focuses on the relationships and problems that the four women faced as young girls. Gabby Hoffman, the main child character stated, "The adults had to study us." They figured that since "Little Women" proved that a movie about girls would sell, "Now and Then" had a good chance of being successful.

Parents suffer greatly when a child dies no matter what the age, and the pain intensifies when their only or last child dies. This author gives a step by step account of how to deal with the loss of a child. He states that first you must deal with grief and come to except it. Surrounding yourself with others who have lost their children may also be very beneficial. Then, you need to make sure that you keep the memories of your child alive. For example, you may want to wear a piece of their jewelry. But, most importantly, if you have other children, you must make sure that you do not neglect them and their needs. After all, it you’ve already lost one child to death, you do not want to lose another to abandonment.

Raveis, Siegel, and Karus state that the death of a parent increases the risk of children developing psychological problems, such as social impairment and psychopathology. A study based on data collected from interviews with children who had lost a parent to cancer has proven that specific situational factors affect children’s adjustment to a parent’s death. These factors include background characteristics, factors associated with the parent’s death, and characteristics of the family environment. Background characteristics include the child’s age and gender, as well as the gender of the parent. Younger children and those in early adolescence tend to have more adjustment problems than older children do. Girls also encounter more negative consequences after a parent’s death. Factors associated with the death, such as the suddenness of it, also affect adjustment. Psychological problems are more prevalent in victims of sudden death; however, even if the child has been prepared for the death, it may still traumatize them. Attributes of the family environment that effect adjustment include how the surviving parent copes, and the openness of communication between the child and the remaining parent. Discouragement of communication can lead to denial, delinquency, and grief in the child.

Thompson, Kaslow, Price, Williams, and Kingree present the findings of a study that examined the psychological effects and the role of secondary stressors on children who have lost a parent. The study used data gathered through interviewing bereaved children and their remaining parent. Results of the study show that parental death results in increased internalized and externalized distress, as well as an increase in stressors that lead to increased child distress. More depression, anxiety, disruptive behavior, academic and social problems appear in bereaved children compared to non-bereaved children. Mode of death proved a primary predictor of problems bereaved children would experience. Suddenness of death contributed to an increase in problems. Children prepared for death coped much better than unprepared children. The extent of the connection between the cause of death and human actions relates to the development and severity of problems experienced by bereaved children. Children recovering from deaths directly attributed to human action, such as homicide, develop more severe, longer lasting problems than children whose parents died of natural causes. These children also demonstrate greater externalized distress. Secondary stressors, or events that occur after a major stressor, contribute to psychological problems in bereaved children. The death of a parent consists of a series of events, including changes in the daily life and a decrease in positive family events, which contribute to higher levels of distress.

Zinsmeister collaborates the results from a variety of experiments, which prove that divorce has many negative effects on children. One study by psychologist John Guidubaldi found that shortly after divorce young children demonstrate more dependence, disobedience, fear of abandonment, and loss of love. Also, many blame themselves for their parents break up. Judith Wallerstein, who performed a study on preschoolers states that, "It would be hard to find any other group of children who suffered such a rate of sudden serious psychological problems." Similarly, in a survey by Guidubaldi youngsters of divorced families showed more withdrawal, inattention, unhappiness, and a greater tendency to use drugs, commit crimes, and have premarital sex. In the long run, children of divorce, particularly females, seem to have trouble with their sexual identity. Wallerstein reports that their own marriages tend to dissolve at higher rates than their counterparts, and female children more frequently choose inadequate husbands and have more trouble when their mothers remarry. Teenage girls have trouble viewing men realistically, and they view their fathers with both idealization and distrust.

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