Cross-cultural communication is where the tectonic plates of culture meet. We watch it happen! Whatever makes cross-cultural communication work or not is good to post. Got examples, comments, brickbats or bouquets? Send them along!
October 18, 2004
wwcd.org/action/ampu/crosscult.html
This site (CLICK HERE) got me excited and I am still processing it. I am attracted to things that are presented clearly, but the simpler the message, perhaps the more distorted the reality. Let's see.
This site has six fundamental patterns of communication and, more importantly, "guidelines for cultural differences". I think I am going to find my first principle! Yay! To begin, here are their six fundamental patterns:
Different Communication Styles
Different Attitudes Toward Conflict
Different Approaches to Completing Tasks
Different Decision-Making Styles
Different Attitudes Toward Disclosure
Different Approaches to Knowing
I note that they wrote "fundamental" and that hints at more. OK. In fact, I thought more about what was not written; namely, when and where to communicate. Different Approaches to Completing Tasks does not address more fundamental differences in the definition of a task. When and where are there tasks?
Examples:
I left my bicycle light on when I parked it near the train station. When I came back, it was on and the battery had run down. Should I be angry? Irritated? I was. Hundreds of people must have passed my parked bicycle. Nobody, here in my Japanese city, turned off the light.
Maybe I am being stupid. I should have turned off my own light. Maybe this is a really thin example. OK. In the train, when someone bumps into me, I rarely hear an apology or even an acknowledgement. When friends do, they always apologise. "Love means never having to say you're sorry." (Love story)
Really? Does that apply to friendship, too? Any kind of relationship? Japanese people conducted an experiment. The had two groups of people that they put together in two rooms, then moved across town during rush hour. In one group, the participants had the task to chat with each other. They got to know each other's names and occupations, for example. In the second group, they were just told to wait... and they waited quietly, not knowing or talking with each other. When the had to change locations using packed rush-hour trains, who do you think apologised more. The group that got to "know" each other did.
Maybe other cultures would produce the same results. I am not picking on Japanese at all... it was a Japanese-led study after all. I am certain that the idea of when to communicate is a trait that can be measured and studied. It deserves study! Certainly, it is not too much to guess that different cultures and individuals express this trait more than others.
The act of apology can be an acknowledgement of a relationship. People may apologise to confirm a relationship exists. People may apologise to develop a relationship. On the other hand, relationships ALWAYS exist... A simple act of apology is a gesture of acknowledgment that we are all related. Maybe Japanese realize this as the default circumstance of life, so an apology is not needed. Japanese use the word "sumimasen" to apologise. It literally means "it is unending".
In any case, the idea of when to communicate is a fundamental one that is rooted in culture. Chinese often wonder why Japanese do not acknowledge and apologise for what happened years ago in WWII. There is distrust. Yet, there is a always a relationship. I state the following as principle number one: You cannot not communicate. OK, the grammar is bad, but the principle is true. When should you communicate? You already have!
(Japanese may think that my bicycle light has no relationship to them. I STILL think it does.)
This site has six fundamental patterns of communication and, more importantly, "guidelines for cultural differences". I think I am going to find my first principle! Yay! To begin, here are their six fundamental patterns:
Different Communication Styles
Different Attitudes Toward Conflict
Different Approaches to Completing Tasks
Different Decision-Making Styles
Different Attitudes Toward Disclosure
Different Approaches to Knowing
I note that they wrote "fundamental" and that hints at more. OK. In fact, I thought more about what was not written; namely, when and where to communicate. Different Approaches to Completing Tasks does not address more fundamental differences in the definition of a task. When and where are there tasks?
Examples:
I left my bicycle light on when I parked it near the train station. When I came back, it was on and the battery had run down. Should I be angry? Irritated? I was. Hundreds of people must have passed my parked bicycle. Nobody, here in my Japanese city, turned off the light.
Maybe I am being stupid. I should have turned off my own light. Maybe this is a really thin example. OK. In the train, when someone bumps into me, I rarely hear an apology or even an acknowledgement. When friends do, they always apologise. "Love means never having to say you're sorry." (Love story)
Really? Does that apply to friendship, too? Any kind of relationship? Japanese people conducted an experiment. The had two groups of people that they put together in two rooms, then moved across town during rush hour. In one group, the participants had the task to chat with each other. They got to know each other's names and occupations, for example. In the second group, they were just told to wait... and they waited quietly, not knowing or talking with each other. When the had to change locations using packed rush-hour trains, who do you think apologised more. The group that got to "know" each other did.
Maybe other cultures would produce the same results. I am not picking on Japanese at all... it was a Japanese-led study after all. I am certain that the idea of when to communicate is a trait that can be measured and studied. It deserves study! Certainly, it is not too much to guess that different cultures and individuals express this trait more than others.
The act of apology can be an acknowledgement of a relationship. People may apologise to confirm a relationship exists. People may apologise to develop a relationship. On the other hand, relationships ALWAYS exist... A simple act of apology is a gesture of acknowledgment that we are all related. Maybe Japanese realize this as the default circumstance of life, so an apology is not needed. Japanese use the word "sumimasen" to apologise. It literally means "it is unending".
In any case, the idea of when to communicate is a fundamental one that is rooted in culture. Chinese often wonder why Japanese do not acknowledge and apologise for what happened years ago in WWII. There is distrust. Yet, there is a always a relationship. I state the following as principle number one: You cannot not communicate. OK, the grammar is bad, but the principle is true. When should you communicate? You already have!
(Japanese may think that my bicycle light has no relationship to them. I STILL think it does.)
Comments:
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Your bicycle light story reminds me of a story I tell sometimes. When I was a kid, I played a lot with my neighbors Sam and Anna. Sam was my age; Anna was a few years younger. They really knew how to get into things.
Once when we were playing at their house, Anna crawled into her parent's car (unlocked of course) and moved some of the controls. The car started to roll down the driveway slowly.
A woman who just happened to be walking by jumped into the car and stopped it from rolling. It seems that she just did that and left.
Nowadays, people would say it was some cosmic event or that an angel visited us. But then, it was just something that people did. Adults looked after children, even those not their own. Then, no one would accuse Anna's mother of being a bad mother because she wasn't watching. No one would ask for a reward. No one would try to sue or threaten the other if something went slightly awry in this transaction. Things have changed.
The grammar is fine, I think: You cannot NOT communicate.
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Once when we were playing at their house, Anna crawled into her parent's car (unlocked of course) and moved some of the controls. The car started to roll down the driveway slowly.
A woman who just happened to be walking by jumped into the car and stopped it from rolling. It seems that she just did that and left.
Nowadays, people would say it was some cosmic event or that an angel visited us. But then, it was just something that people did. Adults looked after children, even those not their own. Then, no one would accuse Anna's mother of being a bad mother because she wasn't watching. No one would ask for a reward. No one would try to sue or threaten the other if something went slightly awry in this transaction. Things have changed.
The grammar is fine, I think: You cannot NOT communicate.
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