The word "Epilepsy" is derived from a Greek word meaning "a condition of being overcome, seized, or attacked."  People used to believe that the seizure was caused by a demon, and Epilepsy became known as a sacred disease.  This is the background to the myths and fears that surround Epilepsy; myths that colour people's attitudes and make the goal of a normal life more difficult than it needs to be for people who have Epilepsy.  The word "Epilepsy" means nothing more than the tendency to have sssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 The present paper is intended as an accompanimental text for the sound installation SEIZURESound, a piece which deals with the
neurological disorder known as epilepsy through a multi-leveled approach to audio as art.  The sources for the piece are comprised of
voices, music and environmental sounds, all of which are subjected to some manner of ³processing,² from complex phase-vocoding,
convolution and mutation to extremely simple cut-and-paste techniques.  Some of the voice material consists of readings drawn from a
web FAQ page posted by a Canadian epilepsy-advocacy organization(1) ; other portions are personal responses to living with the
disorder.  In choosing the spoken and other aural material (including familiar musics, high-pitched tones from transformers and
amplifiers, and digital glitches) and the subsequent processing and sequencing of the material,  I was guided by a desire to sonically
manifest a number of  seizure-related phenomena: of course, the bodily twitching which is the most obvious external signifier of epileptic
³fits,² but also the internal experience of the person having the seizure ­ sensations of distance, temporal flux, fugue states/confusion,
muscular tightening, and silence.  At the end of this paper is a physical description of the installation, including instructions for mounting
it.

 My first seizure occurred near the end of my freshman year in college.  Following what would become the recurrent pattern, it happened
while I was asleep.  (In fact, on only two occasions since have I experienced a seizure while awake.)  After an immediate trip to the
emergency room and a couple of followup visits, I was formally diagnosed with partial generalized epilepsy that summer.  My particular
³brand² of epilepsy would actually be more commonly referred to as a ³seizure disorder² by most doctors, as it is actually an extremely
mild case; despite the severity of the seizures (I experience what used to be called ³grand mal² seizures), I have seized no more than ten
times in as many years, compared with the weekly, daily, or even hourly seizure attacks which many persons suffering from epilepsy
experience.  Because of the infrequency of my seizures, it becomes easy sometimes to forget that it is a fact of my day-to-day life; the pills I
take at bedtime (300 mg of Dilantin) no longer elicit the sense of fear and self-pity they once did.
 About a month and a half ago, while having morning coffee with my fiancée, I remember, feeling, like  I couldn¹t,n¹t,   get my thoughs toge
ether.  Isaid ³I feel realllly outt,t,t,tt of it thi s mornininininininininin

The tonic-clonic (formerly grand mal) seizure is a generalized convulsion involving two phases.  In the tonic phase, the individual loses consciousness and
falls, and the body becomes rigid.  In the clonic period, the extremities jerk and twitch.  In the tonic period, the individual loses consciousness and twitch,
and the body becomes rigid.  In the clonic period, the consciousness jerk and twitch.  In the clonic period, the individual loses jerk and twitch, and the body
becomes rigid.  In the clonic period, the consciousness is jerk slowly. In the clonic period, the extremities jerk after the seizure.  In the clonic period, the
extremities jerk and twitch. After the seizure, consiousness is regained slowly.  If the tonic-clonic seizure begins locally (with a partial seizure) it may be
preceded by an aura.

 This episode was an important one for several reasons.  It was the first time that my fiancée had actually witnessed one of my seizures,
and while it was certainly a disturbing scene, she later told me that, in a sense, it finally made real for her something that had prevoiusly
been only imagined ­ she now had a concrete physical image of epilepsy.  For me, also, it brought home the reality of my condition in a
new way; it had been nearly 3 years since my last attack, and I had forgotten much of what it was like to have a seizure.  The most
intriguing things about the seizure, however, stem from the fact that it occurred while I was awake.  Because my condition is primarily
nocturnal, I have seldom had a sense of the moments preceding a seizure ­ and because I was being awakened by the seizure, I was always
dealing not only the seizure itself, but also with waking up itself... in other words, I have not had much of a basis on which to analyze
myself after the attack.  This time, however, I was fully conscious leading up to and following the seizure.  I came away from it not only
with the usual muscle aches, bruises, lacerated tongue and exhaustion, but also with a quite lucid set of sensations and memories.
 Considering that I am a musician who spends many hours every day concentrating on sound, it is perhaps not so astonishing that a good
portion of these sensations were aural in nature, yet I was generally surprised by the kinds of sounds I remember.  Most striking is the
sonic memory from before the seizure.  While I was still basically conscious ­ in retrospect, maybe in a ³between² stage ­ I became aware of
an extremely high-frequency drone, like a ringing in the ears.  It started rather quietly, but gradually grew in volume until it enveloped my
sound environment.   This, I came to recognize later, was part of the aura, a kind of ³early-warning² sign which is part of the seizure attack.

         Before the onset of a seizure some people experience a sensation or warning called an "aura."
   The type of aura experienced varies from person to person.
           Some people feel a change in body temperature,   others experience a feeling of tension or anxiety.
In some cases, the epileptic aura will be apparent to the person as a musical sound,
         a strange taste,
       or even a particular  curious  odor.
 
 In ³Radiophonic Ontologies,² Joe Milutis continues to mine the rich vein of theory which connects the human persona with sound
recording technologies.  This line of research is as old as the technologies themselves, and has tended to focus around the physical; from
Edison¹s first ³Hallo² in 1877, scholars have been alternately (and sometimes simultaneously) fascinated and frightened by the idea of a
recorded voice separete from the human form that produced it ­ by the Disembodied Voice(2).  Milutis¹s argument in relation to
radiophony, however, centers less around the external (physical) than the internal (mental): namely, around certain human psychoses and
their potential mirroring in Western radio formats.  Radio ³takes the voice away from the body, stealing words... and transmitting them
everywhere²(3); this is clearly linked to the thought process of the paranoiac, suffering from the delusion that ones thoughts are being
³stolen,² that ³the thoughts returned in exchange for the stolen ones are all lies.²(4)  Likewise, the format of current radio ³loads more voices
into the head than the body can withstand,²(5)  a sonic manifestation of the ³multiple-voice² stereotype associated with schizophrenia.
 While situated within the context of a discussion of radio¹s interior being, Milutis¹s arguments have lucid and powerful implications for
recording technologies of any stripe.  The paranoid ontology of radio is clearly paralleled in any form of mass-distributed technology; in
citing Marinetti¹s notion of fisicofollia (³body madness²), he is leaning on the historically-held notion that the human body is a simulacrum of
coherence, and that the loss of that body (again, the disembodied voice) is equal to a loss of that coherence.  And anyone with even the
slightest engagement with popular music is readily aware that many contemporary forms (hip-hop, dance, scratching) depend heavily, in
fact almost solely, on ³schizophrenic² textures derived from sampled voices, beats, and other sounds as sonic markers of style.
 What interests me in Milutis¹s article is the idea of a relatively clear relationship between human interiority and sonic manifestations of
that world.  My experience with epilepsy, and in particular with this most recent seizure, suggests to me that there are some ready
parallels between the world of the epileptic interior and those described by Milutis as associated with forms of psychoses.  Epilepsy is not
a mental disorder in the same sense that those diseases are.  But, as I¹ve described earlier, there are certainly mental interiorities at work
during a seizure which strike me as having clear sonic parallels ­ especially those which I experienced as having an aurality of their own.

The brain is a highly complex and sensitive organ.
It controls and regulates all our actions.  It controls motor movements, sensations, thoughts, and emotions.  It is the seat of memory, and it regulates the
involuntary inner workings of the body such as the function of the heart and lungs.
The brain cells work together, communicating by means of electric signals.
Occasionally there is an abnormal electrical discharge from a group of cells, and the result is a seizure.  The type of seizure will depend upon the part of the
brain where the abnormal electrical discharge arises.

 Another aural aspect of my seizure involved music.  I have a strong memory of specific music piled up in a jumble, all of it extremely
familiar music ­ music that I would describe, if asked, as deeply imbedded in my musical psyche.  What is most intriguing about this part
of the memory is that I specifically remember that most of the music would come and go in sharp bits and pieces, starting suddenly in the
middle of a phrase or chorus and stopping just as suddenly.  A couple of exceptions: the old gospel tune ³Judgement² was heard in its
entirety, and the song ³Laissez-moi tranquille² by Serge Gainsbourg (which, I later realized, was on the stereo when the seizure began) was
in a constant state of time-flux, slowing down and speeding up.  I also remember that the music and other sound would occasionally stop,
leaving silence.  In my remembered sensations, the silence was complete (i.e., not the Cageian ³qualified silence²) and I¹ve never
experienced anything like it before ­ I imagine it to be sort of Zen silence.  I have no real explanation for WHY this is all part of my
memory.  Occasionally there is an abnormal discharge from a group of brain cells.  And the result is a se i   z           ure.

SEIZURESound: a sound installaiton
physical description: 4 CDs, to be played simultaneously on 4 stereo systems (8 speaker channels total).  CD 1 is primarily
text/voice-based, and consists of one long track to be played on a continuous-repeat setting.  CD 2 is primarily music-based, and consists
of many short tracks (including several tracks of silence) to be played on a shuffle-repeat setting.  CDs 3 and 4 are permutations of material
from the other CDs; both consist of many short tracks and are to be played on shuffle-repeat.
SEIZURESound is intended as a self-sufficient artwork and, if at all possible, should be mounted in a room of its own, with no other visual
or aural activity.  the space should be very dimly lit or completely dark, with no physical obstructions to hinder the audience's motion.  the
physical location of the 8 speakers remains unspecified, and will depend greatly upon the installation space, but they should be spaced
relatively evenly around the perimeter of the given room, and their presence should be downplayed (hidden?) as much as possible.

Is Epilepsy a disease?
  What is a seizure?
    What is an aura?
       What kind of people have Epilepsy?
            How many people have Epilepsy?
            Are there different types of seizures?
      What are seizures like?
           What does it feel like to have a seizure?
          What causes Epilepsy?
      Is Epilepsy contagious?
   Can certain things trigger seizures?
       Is there a cure for Epilepsy?
          Are there drug treatments for Epilepsy?
         Do these drugs have side effects?
        Is there prejudice against people who have Epilepsy?
       Can Epilepsy lead to problems with self-esteem?
      Can someone be fired for having Epilepsy?
           Is Epilepsy related to mental illness?

ENDNOTES

1.  ³Epilepsy FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions about Epilepsy² (http://debra.dgbt.doc.ca/~andrew/epilepsy/FAQ.html), maintained
by Andrew Patrick.  An excellent source of information for people living with epilepsy and anyone else interested in the disorder.  All
quites in italics are from this page.

2.  See Charles Grivel, ³The Phonograph¹s Horned Mouth² (in Kahn and Whitehead, Wireless Imagination, MIT Press, 1997; Stephen Sartarelli,
trans.) for an insightful reading of several important early pieces of audio thinking.

3.  Milutis, Joe.  1996.  ³Radiophonic Ontologies and the Avant-Garde,²  in The Drama Review: The Journal of Performance Studies.  Volume 40,
no. 3: Experimental Sound and Radio (Alan Weiss, guest editor).  Cambridge, MA: MIT Press Journals.  p. 65.

4.  Milutis, p. 65.

5.  Milutis, p. 65.