Jerry's Guide to London

What follows is, as close as memory allows, a retelling of an entry in a book I was going to write that chronicled my first trip to London:

I saw Jen at the bus stop today. She warned me to take my biggest coat to London because, according to her, it's freezing there in March. And what's more the locals don't turn the heat on like we do here in the States. Being a Floridian with a bent for Spain, she can't understand why I want to spend Spring Break in such a cold place.

She doesn't seem to get that I like the cold, no matter how much I tell her. But then, I don't get her sometimes, either. In womanly fashion, sometimes she's all sweet and demure and other times when I try to talk to her I get a hand in a raised claw and a sharp hiss. That's Nature's way of saying, "I'm a hot bitch."

I don't remember what this had to do with London.