News from Discovery

I was just surfing over at FitTV.com. I had bitched at Discovery via blog re: the endless cavalcade of Dan Brown crapola and via email for cancelling Monster House and the UK car show Top Gear (they're making yet another American knock-off), and I thought I'd be positive and let them know how much I enjoy The Gym and FitNation before they also get cancelled.

I couldn't help but notice the gloriously odd news on the Discovery ticker: "Ancient Egyptians Revered Dwarfs(sic)."

I've always wanted to say "(sic)."

I was reminded, although poorly, of a half-remembered tale from my Asian Studies days. One of the meaner Chinese emperors of old, I think it was Han Wudi, had sent a green but promising new official off to the province that supplied the court with dwarf slaves. The official was to take a census of the dwarves so that the emperor would know how many slaves to expect.

The official was morally repulsed by this duty, but feared displeasing the emperor, which could mean his life. He decided to make a bold stand upon his return to the capitol.

"How many new dwarf slaves do I have?" asked the emperor.

"None, sir," said the official.

"They have no dwarves left in the outlands?!?!" The emperor was incredulous.

"No, sir. They have many dwarves, but they are all free."

The emperor was so impressed by the young man's bravery that he promoted him, and freed all the dwarves.

Well, I doubt it really happened, but it was a nice story.