Feeder 3.2 Draft 2 Workshop
1. Is my arguement clear? I know I have made a point but do I need to go deeper in my discussion of these ideas?
2. What portion of my paper is lacking most; the opening paragraph, body, or conclusion?
3. I have chosen color and medium as the formal aspects for my paper. Should I concentrate on one or the other, or do you think it is better to speak of both?
2. What portion of my paper is lacking most; the opening paragraph, body, or conclusion?
3. I have chosen color and medium as the formal aspects for my paper. Should I concentrate on one or the other, or do you think it is better to speak of both?
1 Comments:
1. You really went in depth as to the significance of the yellow figurine to the overall message and I don't think you could add much more...just for thought though, is there a significance/meaning behind the other figurines? After seeing "Floor" for myself, the others are like your typical army-men colors of tan, green, and brown. Do you think there's something more about them as well besides diversity? I have no clue- but it might spark something in your mind...
2. I think you could add more to your conclusion. I like how you compared Lennon, Shakespeare, and Suh and how they express their opinions in various ways. You could add more to this and make your conclusion a little stronger. It just needs a little more depth to be a powerful ending.
3. I can only find your discussion of medium in the conclusion, so like I mentioned earlier you can add more to this in your conclusion b/c I don't think there is enough- if it is a significant part of the message Suh is trying to convey. However, if you were to limit yourself to one- color is obviously more powerful and holds the deeper meaning behind Suh's view on diversity and the importance of being "color-blind". I really like how you incorporated the quotation from Williams on Earth from space- it really put the analysis you are making into perspective.
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