Draft Workshop for Rakjoon Jeon

The paper does present both candidates’ views on the issue, but it doesn’t analyze the candidates’ rhetoric to a substantial extent. This paper mentions voice is the final paragraph, but really doesn’t go into a lot of detail about it. The general ideas are good, but it seems like the paper needs more research and detail because there is a lot more on the site that could be addressed.
In general, the paper does not have much of a biased tone, but there is a lot more evidence for Kerry’s faults than Bush’s. He declares at the end that Bush has the more powerful website, and so it seems there was almost a bias towards that. It seemed like he left out the evidence and just made declarations to possibly support his own opinion. In order to be less biased, this paper just needs the evidence to defend the statements made (it’ll also help make the paper longer).
Rakjoon very effectively mixes the two candidates’ views so that one does not prioritize the other’s position. However, the paper does lake overall organization. It seems like pre-writing did not occur. It’s kind of like the paragraphs are somewhat organized but within the paragraph the information is just random. It might help to separate the ideas so each paragraph has a separate idea being pondered.