Draft Workshop for Richard Graven

This paper does fulfill the demands of the assignment and presents both candidates’ views on the issue of social security. He very clearly shows who they are targeting and how they are promoting their ideas.

Yes, the paper does seem slightly biased towards Bush. While the sentence, “This program reaffirms Bush’s platform of his ‘commitment to the American people’ and ensures that social security is able ‘to pay the benefits promised to our children and grandchildren,’” does quote Bush, it seems very opinionated. If I understand correctly he says he thinks the program ensures this and that. It may be better to say “Through this program Bush is trying to reaffirm his platform…” Other than that I think it stayed fairly unbiased except that it seemed Bush was quoted more often and his plan was better described. However, this may be because the Bush site offered more detailed description.

I thought the introduction had an excessive amount of summarizing. It seemed unnecessary to summarize Bush/Kerry's stance on social security that early-the next two paragraphs explain it completely-just saying they were different would've been enough. I did like the way the subject was introduced-nice flow into the paper. The conclusion was very good-it tied together the two Kerry/Bush paragraphs nicely with comparisons.