Rakjoon's Draft Workshop

2.While the paper does fulfill the demands of the assignment, it does so on a shallow level. The paper would definitely benefit to look into the discourse more fully. He does mention 1 of the posts and their common interest in the environment, but I think he could elaborate more on this aspect. Also, I think he should focus more on why he should be allowed to post on the blog-elaborate on similarities they seem to share, common interests etc, or possibly something significant he’d done within the field of chemistry he could share on the blog. Don't just say how the professor can help him, but say how he can add to the professor's blog. I thought he did a very good job converying his enthusiasm.
3. The organization seems to make sense rhetorically because it is organized almost as though he is speaking instead of writing. There is a naturally flow of thought (he mixes analyzing the blog with his enthusiasm and shows similar interests) but I do think more organization could be helpful to clearly answer the prompt, especially in the first paragraph. This could be helped by simply making the first paragraph 2 seperate paragraphs.
4. The tone seemed very appropriate, it very effectively showed his enthusiasm for the field and seemed to convey a sense that he was looking up to the professor for answer but still had some knowledge himself. He was confident but not cocky.