Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Redshirts
(A song for a group whose insurance is paid...)
Lyrics by Carolyn (Waterson) Wallace and Simon Goldenberg, Sung to the tune of "Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys"
NOTE: Individual singers fall down "dead" at appropriate intervals, until only one is left at the end.
Verse 1
We're Starship security guards,
We don't live too long.
In the span of two brief commercials,
We're here, then we're gone.
Blasted by phasers and turned into white cubes,
Yes each week we die a new way.
No cash in advance, but we don't give a damn,
We won't live to spend our pay.
Chorus
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be redshirts,
We live life in terror and die in a flash,
Be better of picking up Captain Kirk's trash!
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be redshirts,
'Cause we're never dependable, always expendable
Watch and you'll see what we mean.
Verse 2
We ain't clever like Spock is,
Just brawny and fast.
Kirk gets all the girls,
All we get's the shaft.
Fighting off Hortas and blood-sucking gas clouds,
Klingons and monsters galore.
We're dying like flies but the network don't care,
Next week they'll just hire some more.
(Chorus)
Verse 3
Folks won't you pray for us,
It's really tough out in space.
We are the ones whos job
Is to save the Human race.
We ask the officers why it's so rough,
How come we all get the dirt.
They point to the script, but mainly they say,
It's because we wear these red shirts.
(Chorus)
Last line is "Now you see what I mean" sung by the last survivor.
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