Dysfunctionally Ever After Leslie Stewart and Bobby Taylor Ever After, a new film version of the classic fairy tale Cinderella, unites original story aspects with a new feminist spin (Ebert, ND; Rolling Stone, 1998; Ryerson, 1999). Ever After brings the French fairy tale version and the darker Grimm Brothers’ version together, adding new surprises while keeping the traditional passion (Ryerson p 1). The story takes place in 16th century Europe.
The movie's main characters include Danielle De Barbarrac; Rodmilla, her stepmother; and Danielle's two stepsisters, Jacqueline and Marguerite. Drew Barrymore depicts her character, Danielle, as strong, independent, and resistant to her stepmother's cruelty. Danielle relies on her own intuition to solve her problems. However, Leonardo Da Vinci,
(Patrick Godfrey) offers her advice and assistance with her love life and Prince Henry. In Ever After, director Andy Tennant's characters illustrate an exaggerated example of the destructive causes and negative consequences present in a dysfunctional stepfamily relationship, previously explored and evaluated through research.
Stepfamilies occur as a result of several different factors, including divorce and a parent's death. Today, many first marriages in the United States end in divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), 1997; American Psychological Association (APA), 1996; Quick, Newman, & McKenry, 1995)
and many include children under age 19 (Quick et al. p 1). As a result, more stepfamilies with children exist than ever before (AACAP; Giles-Sims 1997). The APA states that more than one third of the country's children will live in a stepfamily before age 18 (p 1). Instead of divorce, practically unheard of in 16th century France, Danielle's father remarries as a result of her mother's death. This brings a stepmother and two stepsisters into her life when she is eight years old.
Whether remarriage occurs as a result of divorce or death, stepfamilies encounter various problems and often have difficulty adjusting (AACAP, 1997; APA, 1996; Quick et al., 1995). Children have a greater risk for emotional and psychological problems, states the APA, (p 1) while Quick et al. cite the stepmother-adolescent relationship as difficult (p 100). Reasons for these problems include experienced losses, different backgrounds and beliefs, strife
between residential and non-residential parents, and lack of cooperation and communication between the couple (AACAP p 1; Quick et al p 102). Martin, Anderson, and Mottet (1999) argue that as a result of the conflicts experienced by many stepfamilies, stepchildren sometimes have lower self-esteem than children not in stepfamilies (p 281). In the film, the death of Danielle's father, soon after the new marriage, adds stress and aggravation to the adjusting process in the household. Danielle's father's death leaves her stepmother with the burden of both a household and a little girl she does not know and brings unneeded complications to the stepfamily relationship. The Baroness emotionally abuses Danielle by neglecting her need for love and attention.
Quick et al. state that a specific problem resulting from the difficult adjusting process is the stepmother-adolescent relationship. The mother role, hard to replace, makes this relationship difficult (p 100). Variables that affect this relationship's quality include the frequency of agreement, cooperation, and communication between the stepmother and father (Quick et al. p 101). Generally, mothers participate more in care taking than fathers, thereby playing a significant role in a child's growth and acting as a communication and interaction partner (Miller, 1993 p 161). A dysfunctional stepmother-adolescent relationship can lead to the breakdown of this crucial bond. In the movie, Danielle lacks this vital influence; her own mother has died and her stepmother does not care about or respond to Danielle's desire for a mother's love. In a confrontation between Danielle and Rodmilla, the latter says, "You are not my problem anymore." Danielle angrily responds, "Is that what I am, your problem? I have done everything that you've ever asked me to do, and still you have denied me the only thing that I have ever wanted." The Baroness remains calm and asks Danielle what she wants. "You are the only mother I have ever known," Danielle responds, "Was there a time, if in its smallest measurement that you loved me at all?" [click here to view this scene]. Instead of the love Danielle yearns for, she receives only emotional stress from her stepmother.
In addition to difficult stepmother-adolescent relationships, higher child abuse rates exist in stepfamilies than biological families (Giles-Sims, 1997 p 215). Many studies
suggest that neglect, murder, injuries, and physical abuse occur more often in stepfamily households than in biological households, and further suggest that parents tend to abuse their stepchildren more often than their own children (Giles-Sims p 216). The movie only presents a vague reference to physical abuse when Rodmilla gives Danielle a "…sound lashing" as a punishment for provoking a fight with Marguerite. However, Rodmilla forces Danielle to perform physical labor as a servant in her own home.
As well as physical abuse, verbal abuse, caused a stressful stepfamily life, adds to problems in children. Adults today have a general consensus that rejection or withdrawal of love, verbal put-downs, perfectionism, negative prediction, negative comparison, scapegoating, shaming, cursing or swearing, and threats are never acceptable because they emotionally damage children (Schaefer, 1997 p 626). Danielle's stepmother and stepsister Marguerite
exhibit many damaging verbalizations throughout the movie. "[Danielle] is a grasping, devious little pretender," and an "insolent fraud" says her stepmother once, and on another occasion asks her, "How can anyone love a pebble in their shoe?," referring to Danielle. Marguerite questions at one point, "Why don't you sleep with the pigs, sindersoot, if you insist on smelling like one," and often calls Danielle "Cinderella." These remarks may cause Danielle to feel unloved, but they do not cause serious psychological problems. Her confidence remains unwavering as a result of her self-motivation and independence.
After examining varying problems in dysfunctional stepfamilies, experts have looked at many possible resolutions. The AACAP (1997) offers five ways that the new family members can create strong bonds within the family: dealing with their losses adequately, "making decisions as a family," creating healthy relationships between the new members, providing each other with support, and keeping biological parent-child relationships alive (p 1). Planning for the remarriage (APA, 1996 p 1), establishing strong marital relationships (APA; Quick et al., 1995 p 112), and effective parenting (AACAP p 2; APA; Quick et al.) are all proven to help as well. While planning for remarriage, adults should agree upon both financial and living arrangements, resolve all feelings and concerns about previous marriages, and anticipate any parenting changes or decisions that may occur (APA). In the area of marriage quality, James Bray, Ph.D. of Baylor College of Medicine, says that a powerful connection between couples will create stability in the home (APA). Also, increased cooperation and communication between the stepmother and the father may correct the lack of developmental necessities in the stepmother-adolescent relationship (Quick et al. p 111). For a variety of reasons, including the time period and the death of both of Danielle's biological parents, the movie does not use these resolutions.
The resolutions exhibited in Ever After do model the research in some ways. Along with the interventions that parents can attempt, the AACAP (1997) lists warning signs a child may exhibit
when needing a psychiatric evaluation (p 1). The signs include feeling alone, isolated, torn between families or households, and possessing extreme anger or guilt. Danielle does not exhibit any of these signs and appears strong and independent throughout the movie. She continuously speaks her mind and does not allow other people's words to sway her opinion. Along with its negative consequences, her father's death seems to create a positive result in Danielle. USA Today says (1996) that the difficulty of dealing with death, especially a parent's, can help one build emotional strength (p 7). Danielle displays this with her dedication to the preservation of her father's manor throughout the film. With her strength of character and the remembrance of her father, Danielle endures Rodmilla's abuse.
A second way that Ever After models the research develops from the idea that children can find support in other family members, clergy, friends, and community groups while trying to adjust to their new stepfamily (AACAP; Quick et al., 1995 p 110). Danielle establishes close bonds to the other servants in the house. She finds motherhood in the two women, Paulette and Louise, confiding in them and imitating their moral ideals. She has strong feelings for Maurice as well, and uses the twelve gold coins she receives from the prince to buy him out of slavery. Danielle uses all of these relationships to replace the love of a caring family, which she no longer has, and to resist the abuse her stepmother inflicts.
As well as bonds with Paulette, Louise, and Maurice, Danielle establishes a relationship with Prince Henry. Leonardo Da Vinci's help and advice reassure Danielle in her decision to ultimately deceive her stepmother, and pursue this relationship. She escapes her dysfunctional stepfamily relationship by finding love, respect, equality, and happiness in her marriage to Prince Henry.
Ever After, in its presentation of a dysfunctional stepfamily, displays ideals that both model and contrast the research. The deviation from the research results partly because the movie takes place in 16th century Europe and her father's death complicates matters. A similar depiction of a difficult stepfamily relationship in a Hollywood movie is the film Radio Flyer (1992), which places more emphasis on physical abuse, although, once again, the resolution is not a working stepfamily relationship. Hollywood's more dramatic resolutions may not show it, but given both time and effort, most stepfamilies are able to form strong, lasting relationships.
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References American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. (1997). Stepfamily problems. American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry [Online], 1-2.The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) attributes increasing stepfamily number to high divorce rates. Stepfamilies have a difficult time adjusting for a variety of reasons. Members of the new family have all experienced losses, they share no common background, and their beliefs may differ greatly. Furthermore, children often feel pulling from both the parent they live with and the parent they visit. The AACAP offers five ways that the new family members can create strong bonds within the family. Also, other family members, clergy, support groups, and community based programs can help with the changes that occur. Next the AACAP lists warning signs that a child may exhibit when in need of a psychiatric evaluation. The signs include feeling isolated and demonstrating anger or guilt. Warning signs that concern the family as a whole should result in a family discussion about seeking evaluation together. These warning signs include favoritism and stress. The AACAP concludes stating that most stepfamilies can form strong and lasting relationships, given both time and effort.American Psychological Association. (1996). Family and relationships: Interventions that work for stepfamilies. American Psychological Association [Online], 1-3.The American Psychological Association (APA), at this web page, offers interventions that help to make stepfamilies work. Stepfamilies have implanted themselves into society; APA states that more than one third of children will live in a stepfamily before they reach 18 years old. Among these children, emotional and behavioral problems occur more often than with children who live in biological family homes. According to James Bray, Ph.D. of Baylor College of Medicine, five areas that stepfamilies should address in order to avoid the most common problems include: planning for remarriage, marriage quality, parenting, stepparent-child relationships, and nonresidential parent issues. While planning for remarriage, adults should agree upon both financial and living arrangements, resolve all feelings and concerns about the previous marriages, and anticipate any parenting changes or decisions that may occur. In the area of marriage quality, Bray says that a powerful connection between couples will create stability in the home. Bray suggests that creating a relationship in which the stepparent acts as more of a counselor than a disciplinarian and maintains this relationship until a stronger bond with the child forms can aid with parenting in stepfamilies, a complicated part of stepfamily life. Related to this, in stepparent-child relationships, the child’s gender and emotions must remain under consideration. Nonresidential parent issues, the last area that the APA offers interventions for, consist of consistent visiting and open relationships that help children adjust. The APA states that stepfamilies take two to four years to completely adjust, but the help they offer can make the process easier.Ebert, R. [ND]. [Review of the movie Ever After]. Chicago Sun-Times.Ever After amazed Roger Ebert. Andy Tennant, the director, immersed the film with surprises while keeping the passion of the older tale. While expecting a newer children’s version of Cinderella, Ebert found Ever After filled with a romance that he compared with The Mask of Zorro. The story takes place in 16th century Europe, a beautiful area characterized by castles and chateaux. The location allows for Danielle (Drew Barrymore) to meet such mystics as Prince Henry and Leonardo Da Vinci, and provides her with the chance for revenge against an evil stepmother, who does not seem so evil in this portrayal. The story gives humanistic qualities to Rodmilla (Anjelica Huston), Danielle’s stepmother. Rodmilla cares too much for her own biological daughters to show Danielle the attention that she deserves. Danielle and her prince meet by sheer coincidence on most occasions before a love develops between them. Prince Henry (Dougray Scott) displays intricacy in his character, and his parents do not portray the ruthlessness shown by kings and queens of the era. Roger Ebert believes that Drew Barrymore has proven herself a great actress. She grabs the audience with her character portrayals. Her previous attempts at acting as an adult have not yielded her any major hit movies; however, her performances have not faltered. In Ever After, Drew Barrymore finally discovers a role that she can brilliantly portray.Ever After. (1998, August 20). [Review of the movie Ever After]. Rolling Stone, p. 114.Rolling Stone suggests that Drew Barrymore perfectly portrays Cinderella for the movie Ever After. The filmmakers ensured that the movie would remain true to its era, by filming the movie in France using beautiful costumes by Jenny Beavan. But Barrymore brings a new attitude to her character. She displays her character, Danielle, as strong and independent, and one who will only undergo so much before standing up for herself against her stepmother, Rodmilla, portrayed by Anjelica Huston. Danielle relies on her own intuition to solve her problems, therefore doing away with a fairy godmother. However, Leonardo Da Vinci offers her assistance with Prince Henry. Rolling Stone says that Barrymore and Huston offer the old tale an interesting twist.Giles-Sims, J. (1997). Current knowledge about child abuse in stepfamilies. Marriage & Family Review, 26, 215-216.According to Jean Giles-Sims, a reported one million child abuse cases occur in the U.S. each year. In these cases, child abuse occurs more frequently within stepfamilies than in biological families. To compare these rates, studies must first measure stepfamily abuse rates and then compare those rates to the ten percent of children who live in stepfamily homes. Studies have yielded different results related to children’s victimization. Some studies have shown that the rates of abuse in stepfamilies exceed those of biological families, while others have shown that the rates differ only slightly. Several studies have suggested that neglect, murder, injuries, and physical abuse exists at higher rates in stepfamily homes. Daly and Wilson report that 40% of Canadian households involve stepparents. Other analyses by Daly and Wilson reveal that a greater risk of death or abuse existed in stepfamily homes. Giles-Sims says that different family characteristics increase the risk of abuse for some children. However he establishes that the risks are for some stepchildren, not all stepchildren.Helping children cope with death (strategies for helping children to deal with the death of a loved one). (1996, December). USA Today. p.7.USA Today discusses the thoughts of Lois Kugler on a child’s options for coping with death. In a child’s day-to-day life, times of feeling vulnerable and afraid worsen when a loved one passes away. Some children believe that a person who dies can choose to return because they do not realize death’s permanency. When a parent suggests that the person has gone to heaven, they involuntarily convey that the person chose to go and that they can choose to return, and when they do not, children wonder why. Children may also wonder whether or not they risk death. At this point, they need assurance from the parents, who should always express the pain they feel in moderation, and let the child know the pain will disappear. Both parents and children want to take the blame for death because they often believe they can control death in some way. Parents need to ensure that children overcome this grief. In order to progress through the grief a child can help plan the funeral, talk about the person, look at pictures, or celebrate life using natural methods. USA Today says that the difficulty in dealing with death can help one build strength.Martin, M.M., Anderson, C.M., & Mottet, T.P. (1999). Perceived understanding and self-disclosure in the stepparent-stepchild relationship. Journal of Psychology, 133 (3), 281-290.Martin, Anderson, and Mottet argue that as a result of the conflicts that many stepfamilies undergo, stepchildren sometimes have lower self-esteem than children not in stepfamilies. Older children do not believe that their stepparents should offer as much support as their biological parents. However, stepparents can provide children with a lot of what they lack. Martin et al. examined the stepparent-stepchild relationship on the terms of perceived understanding, a person’s belief that others understand them, and self-disclosure, the way in which a person reveals themselves to others. The sense of perceived understanding affects a person’s communication while the amount of self-disclosure in a relationship controls the openness found therein. Martin, et al report that self-disclosure can aid in siblings’ perceived understanding and self-disclosure in a stepfamily relationship. In the study, stepdaughters seemed more concerned with self-disclosure than stepsons, which follows the principle that states girls use self-disclosure as a way of building relationships more often than boys do. The level of perceived understanding proved higher in children who lived in their stepfamily household because they felt that the more they self-disclosed the more they were understood.Miller, P. (1993). Mothers’ and strangers’ behavior with infants. Parental Development. (pp.160-161) Hillsdale, New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.Miller compares and contrasts research about the roles of mothers in this article. He considers the mother a child’s primary caregiver, but previous research has suggested many different possible roles for mothers. Some research has explored the mother as a partner in communication and interaction, regulating stimulation and helping to accomplish goals. Further research has examined the mother’s job of exhibiting responses to infants’ behavior. As well, differences between the roles of the mother and father have been thoroughly studied, resulting in the common belief that mothers participate more in care taking than fathers. It is proven that when playing, a mother includes intellect and materials, while the father would include social and physical activities.Quick, D. S., Newman, B. M., & McKenry, P. C. (1995). Influences on the quality of the stepmother-adolescent relationship. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, 24, 99-114.Quick, Newman, and McKenry state that a high percentage of first marriages end in divorce and many include children under 19. Studies prove that stepfamilies have relationship problems more often than intact families. Quick et al. explore the relationship between the stepmother and the adolescent child, upon which little previous research exists. Their study examined the influences that may impact the relationship’s development. The variables included the stepmother’s age, the adolescent’s time in the stepfamily, the stepmother’s self-esteem, the adolescent’s perception of coping patterns, the frequency of agreement between the stepmother and the father, and the child’s gender. The study included information from both the stepmother’s and the adolescent’s point of view. The study consisted of 50 pairs, the adolescents ranging from 12 to 18. Variables such as race, education, and employment were such that the study consisted mostly well educated and upper-middle class families. After assesing the results mathematically, Quick et al. discuss the implications for practice and policy. First, adolescents should receive help and support from family, friends, and neighbors while they try to cope with the changes a new stepfamily involves. Secondly, cooperation and communication, or lack thereof, between the stepmother and the father affects the quality of the stepmother-adolescent relationship. In conclusion, Quick et al. suggest that family life educators promote strong marital relationships, which will provide the foundation of happy stepfamilies.Ryerson, N. (1999). [Review of the movie Ever After]. ABC News Internet Ventures [Online], 1-2.The fairy tale, Cinderella, has many different adaptations, says Ryerson. For every society that knows the story, different societal cultural aspects exist within their version. The most familiar versions of the story are the French and the Grimm Brothers’. The French fairy tale has a fairy godmother and magical pumpkins while the Grimm Brothers’ story has more emphasis on the darker issues in the story. Many different productions of the story in the United States came before the latest attempt, Ever After. This film seems to take from both the previously mentioned versions, while also adding new dimensions to the tale. Danielle (Drew Barrymore), the movie’s Cinderella, has the original stepfamily – a mean stepmother (Anjelica Huston) and two stepsisters (Megan Dodds and Melanie Lynsky). A prince (Dougray Scott) is central to the movie’s plot, along with a fairy godmother of some sort in the character of Leonardo da Vinci (Patrick Godfrey). Ryerson praises the production designs, costuming, and scenery along with most of the supporting cast. However she criticizes the plot, which differs from the traditional story line. Ryerson also finds problems with Andy Tennant’s directing, especially with the roles of Danielle and the prince. She thinks their lines are overdone and ridiculous. Ryerson concludes saying that the production of Ever After overlooked Cinderella.Schaefer, C. (1997). Defining verbal abuse of children: A survey. Psychological Reports, 80, 626.Charles Schaefer conducted a study examining emotionally harmful parental behavior towards children. He questioned whether adults have a general consensus on which behaviors actually have damaging effects. The questionnaire used contained 18 categories of verbal parental behaviors that had previously shown connections to children’s emotional upset. The study consisted of 151 adults, including both mental health professionals and parents. Approximately half of the group consisted of parents and around 95 percent were upper-middle class. Ten of the 18 categories rated as never acceptable by 80 percent of the group. These categories consisted of rejection or withdrawal of love, verbal put-downs, perfectionism, negative prediction, negative comparison, scapegoating, shaming, cursing or swearing, threats, and guilt trips. The other eight categories received a variety of ratings. Schaefer points out that a general agreement about verbal nears, as a result of evidence about verbal abuse is more readily available.Tennant, A. (1998). Ever After. Drew Barrymore and Angelica Houston. Twentieth Century Fox.Created for educational purposes only.