Soul in Shadows

It wasn't one of those secrets that best friends vow to keep,
Like when you make a promise on the playground on a sunny day.
It was never treasured between two sisters,
And was never discussed in the comfort of a mother's arms.

It was a secret, kept to avoid all the cruel remarks.
To ignore all those high school girls and boys, who were so very pushy with their labels.
A secret kept to silence all the complaints and yelling, Misjudgments and rumors
To conceal all the embarrassment
To erase all the unplanned mistakes that I had made
The fall nights, finding my way home alone in the rain
The cool tears of self-hatred, running down my face

I am unable to wipe away my red eyes
Unable to mask the disappointment of the unchangeable past,
And the past carved from the truth.
Shamelessly kept from everyone
Some are able to see inside,
and aren't hesitant to mention the truth.
My anger is veiled as I turn my eyes away,
From this secret that defines me, tortures me,
And expects me to defend it, despite the discomfort.