once more into the breach

Whew! I'm actually rather tired - after a day that included a meeting with the reading group, a panel session for the new students and a discussion session with some of the pre-service teachers - but my head is just spinning from the meeting with the PSTs. So much I didn't tell them - or didn't tell them well, so much I did tell them (good god, do I always talk that much - listening to my voice on the digital recorder is making my ears bleed), so much to think about from what they said during our discussion. It's a good head-spinning sensation (not unlike drinking a few too many ciders at Linda's on a Thursday night when I should be home reading), especially when I realize I have the potential to start something I'm really and truly interested in doing. They're a thoughtful, humorous, articulate group of people; I think I could learn quite a lot from working with them.

Funny thing is, I have to try even harder to write honestly in this weblog, knowing that one of the PSTs could read something I've written. I'm already conscious of some self-censorship, simply because I'll have to show my writing to my committee if I do indeed turn this into a dissertation. At the same time, I resent having to monitor my thoughts. I have to make sense of all this and writing/speaking honestly is the only way I know to do that. And some might say I have paid for that belief in the past...and some would be correct.