Quotes

We've said some funny things. Or at least they seemed funny at the time. So as to not forget them, I've started a running list below.

• "I've got something important for you." -Said innocently enough, but taken forever on to be innuendo.
• "You are all aroused the next morning..." -Strange, this was also said innocently, but having followed five minutes of tearful laughter about some other sex joke, more chaos ensued. Honest, we do game, and talk about other things.
• "They read books written by the Greeks, and they were friends of Jesus." -A grog (Jason) attempts to convince Sean (Patrick) and Vaclav (Ann) that the Magi aren't witches during the story "The Caverns of the Deepearth."
• "She came at me like a man." -Tatyana (Ann) confesses her seduction by a witch. This got blown out of proportion; will the sex jokes never stop?
• "I've offered to sleep with you and learn more about you..." -Jason's poorly-worded appeal.
• "If the world were bounded by your knowledge, it would be a very small place indeed." -Zinger by Julian (Kendall) to the miller friend of Nikolas Esterhazy.
• "I've never known a Tytalus to ignore his duty where demons are concerned." -Dry comment by Merento (Jason), referring to Simone, one of Jurgis'/Tremula's pursuers.
• [Story told] "Is that true?" "No, it's in the Bible." -Kendall chooses his words poorly.
• "Aermingard's a good-looking woman." "Maybe...for the Devil's Concubine!" - Debating the relative merits of the woman scorned by villagers.
• "Follow the ram! He'll know what to do!" - Bertoul (Kendall) to Willi (Patrick) as their grogs behave more like the magical sheep around them.
• "I would explore her talents again." -Nicolaus (Mike) speaks about Tatyana's ability...with respect to pyromancy, that is.
• "I don't want to become like Vaclav!" "What? A Bulgar?" -Piotr (Jason) whines and Bertoul (Kendall) gets smart.
• "Now I've learned...I'll take a step away from you next time you're in trouble." -Ouen the grog (Jason) attempts to convince Lassitor the Magus (Chris) he won't mess up next time.
• "We'll find it...we'll just go up to the locals and ask them where we can find 'Shithead Rock.'" - Cynric (Patrick) comes up with a plan to find a pagan holy stone whose name is unknown, and in the process coins our generic term for place names.
• "Perhaps we should finish the cross and see what happens to us." - Erik (Chris, always the adventurous one), after observing an unfinished cross which apparently led to the disappearance of a priest.
• "I made a rather unfortunate promise...on the other hand, I did get some rose petals!" - Julian (Kendall) looks on the bright side after bargaining with a faerie.
• "You must be wary of the Valley of Death." - Lady Balara, prophetess (Kendall, the "King of Quotes"), prophesizes the obvious.
• "Maybe the Kali's bringing him back so the boat will be more holy." - Besa (Jason), crewman aboard the Folio, explaining to Julian (Kendall) how the ship's haunt might be actually helping as the same dead priest's bones are repeatedly caught in their fishing nets.
• "We had no complaints with his boat until it sank." - Julian (Kendall) testifies before the Duke of Naxos about the Folio's captain.
• "Now would be a good time to be naked." - Cynric (Patrick) encounters the lovely Loretta, and refers to his unfortunate nudist tendencies acquired from his Affinity With Death.
• "They hung him a week before he died." - A villager (Jason) tries to answer the characters' queries as to when the horse thief expired [later corrected].
• "'Tis the Devil's poultry!" - Andreas (Mike) is confronted by a giant mutated rooster.
• "One for Cynric, that's pretty light." - Polu (Mike) in unimpressed with the covenant's battle with brigands, pointing out the scant number of times Cynric cast Pilum of Fire.
• "I think there's something wrong with your husband, ma'am." - Nicolaus (Mike) points to the writhing man having a heart attack at our feet.
• "What can they say?" - Nicolaus (Mike) deflects criticism of his implication of Rabenstein 'representing' a nearby monastery, given that they have undertaken a vow of silence.
• "He refused a direct order...from a demon." - Julian (Kendall) recounts Matthias' failure to accept an order from him...or rather a demon impersonating him.
• "You're wasting valuable pie time." - Favorite refrain referring to extraneous action when we should be eating another yummy apple pie Ann brought.
• "A demon rooster cruckled..." - Andreas the squire (Mike) recounts the strange tale of Waldemar slaying the mutated rooster (see "Devil's poultry", above) and makes up a new word.
• "I believe you wanted to do all the talking." - Cynric Ex Miscellanea (Patrick) to Julian of Jerbiton (Kendall) upon hearing the plight of the annoying serving maid who'd lost her hair, after Julian chided Cynric to let him do all the talking at the court of Lady Leisel.
• "We're going to Wigglestein." - Chris has trouble with German names like Barrenschützklamm (eventually becoming things like Baron von Munchausen, then Baron von Munchensteinenburg, and degrading more rapidly from there) so we came up with the all-purpose German replacement (possibly, but sadly, endangering "Shithead Rock" above).
• "I would sooner choose Valcum." - Nicolaus of Arteman (Mike) to Tempestus of Flambeau when the crazed Flambeau insisted on knowing his choice between friendship with his new covenant (Novus Promitto) or his old one (Weeping Rock). We hate Valcum.
• "You killed him in cold blood!" "Well, he was asleep." - Julian (Kendall) quells Cynric's (Patrick) outrage to Julian cutting off the Keeper of Epebolus' head.
• "What can I poke her with?"- Cynric (Patrick) stumbles upon a seemingly dead 13-year old girl in Epebolus' lair. Again, an otherwise innocent remark immediately conjures images of pedophilia and necrophilia. Only at Rabenstein.
• "You see every sparrow in its nest, every leaf on its tree, and notice that some farm worker in the south of France forgot his hat." - Kendall decides what a Perception roll of 604 would merit.
• "Now that's what I call a hot piece of tail." -Ann remarks on Cynric (Patrick) lopping off a steaming-hot salamander's tail, demonstrating she's just as capable of sexist banter as the rest of us...
• "Now he's got two hot pieces of tail." -Jason joins in on the double entendre and remarks that Cyrnic has both the aforementioned salamander tail and the lovely Lady Loretta in his sanctum.
• "That was your first chance to impress me with what I taught you." -Polu (Mike) chastizes the two new grogs for not heeding his advice on standing watch after they were all surprised by someone coming up to the castle.
• "First of all, the feast is cancelled." - Father Eusabius (Jason) gets to the really bad news about the feast planned for the day after Halloween, the night on which Brother Meshach was brutally decapitated by another of the covenfolk.
• "I didn't pocket it, its back in my sanctum." -Merento (Jason) responds to allegations that he took a pawn of the departed Lassitor's vis instead of sharing it with the covenant.
• "Is it Hermetically sealed?" - Kendall and Ann almost simultaneously offer up the punchline to a mage's description of his foolproof vault sealed by magic.
• "Look how far I can throw a rock!" - Jos (Kendall) is overcome by feelings for Alexandra (Ann) and this is all the poor lad can come up with to impress her.

Note: Due to public outcry, the punchline to the Budweiser joke ("Yeah, but Budweiser makes my ass hurt.") has been removed from this page. No vestige of it remains.

This page last modified 6/13/98.

Comments to murphy@email.unc.edu

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